The Johnathan
Leftwinger MP (and brother)
Recommended best view through
Internet Explorer
RESOURCE
TIPS: Click mouse on the blue
underlined portions of text to follow the web-links. (Right-Click
on mouse and select OPEN FROM NEW WINDOW to stop links from closing this
screen)
MATURITY NOTICE: This
website is pitched at a sophisticated socio-political level, interwoven within
it a series of complex and often pioneering politico-scientific theorum,
intellectual debate and forward looking lectures. As a result, immature or
unsophisticated children are not advised to read the data contained therein…..
What am I saying? Come on
in and learn the correct things to think and do before the prejudiced Forces
of Conservatism eat away at you by your adulthood!!!
NEW ADDITIONS TO
THE LEFT WING INFORMATION ARSENAL:
GOD
SPARE US FROM (people who moan about) THE MUSLIMS!
FOR GOD’S BLOODY SAKE MATE! All the time in the
papers nowadays there’s ‘Muslim this’, or ‘Muslim that’. People tell me, bigots of course, that they’re pretty
tolerant folk ordinarily, but then tell me how they’re more hostile to Islam
and Islamic ‘supremacism’ nowadays. To which I threaten them with court for perpetuating
hate speech, which shuts them up. Better than argument that is you know,
lets you win by default. And that suits somebody of a Left Wing persuasion.
(I mean, one bloke even erroneously (and hatefully)
claimed that the Islamic
‘threat’ was just as bad as the Nazi threat in 1940, saying both Muhammad
and Hitler were ‘bloody yobs’!!!!!! He said that the
only reason we in the West aid and abet the mad mullahs today is that they have
the oil whilst the Nazis didn’t! I almost lost my voice shrieking at him! I
reminded him, at the top of my voice, that Muslims in this country are peaceful
and actually came here to escape
the dictatorship and oppression of the, the… er, BLOODY PARADISE which is the EPICENTRE of the RELIGION OF PEACE! So put THAT in your pipe and
be punished by a fine for smoking it!)
Mind you, that sort of thing has thrown up a relevant
issue (though don’t tell the Public, else they’ll feel validated). Do we look
into how
Islam itself is centred on terrorism, domination and supremacism before
blindly promoting it, or do we
examine just which sects of Islam are the ones nurturing bombers and other
extremists I wonder? Nah, no point,
as we’ve already produced our preconceived conclu, I mean, balanced and
well-considered evaluations, which so-called Reality must be forced to come to
terms with for a brighter tomorrow.
I mean, IT’S
THE BLOODY PAPERS! THEY’RE TO
BLAME FOR THE DAY-IN, DAY-OUT STREAM OF ISLAMIC ‘ATROCITY’ OR ‘OUTRAGE’ STORIES!
If only they kept their pages shut, people wouldn’t be so angry and hostile
towards orthodox Muslims in both Britain and across the world! Alright, more
Islamic clerics are coming so-called ’clean’ about the driving force of Islam
and what
it can result in, even to the astonishment of other Muslims, but I mean,
well… Has to be said, that’s just a load of rubbish isn’t it. And I mean, Left
Wingers must surely know more about Islam that most Muslims, otherwise we
wouldn’t act like it all the time. We’ve already
learnt all we want from the masters, all in the name of Tolerance! Just simple logic!
I mean, for God’s bloody sake mate, most Muslims now
use Islam as their conduit for personal enlightenment, you know, what religion is supposed to be mate, so
for God’s…. I don’t believe it. Look, that means that for people and the papers
to turn out all this copy about Islamic
caliphates and forced
conversions, gang
rapes, honour
killings, Sharia
law, ‘forced’
marriages of children and general
paedophilia, anti-Semitic
genocide, martyrdom
operatives and their supporters, etc, then start whingeing about it, I
mean, well... I mean, most Muslims, according
to me, cringe at all this, so therefore it’s a hate crime for people to blow
the whistle. I don’t care what Islam really
so-called is, as long as Left Wing dogma and
diplomatic expediency proclaims that it’s the Religion of Peace then so be
bloody it mate!
I don’t see what’s so hard to comprehend about that
now, you disgusting people.
Amongst the latest Media hot air is the
visit to one of the Muslim schools for terrorists in Pakistan. Yea, well, I
mean, they might do it, one of many insignificant isolated cases across the
world, but get it into perspective; Britain’s
schools are also so-called nests of hatred, helping result in Britain
being the most so-called ‘violent’ country in Europe…. But we’re doing OK!
We must be, we’re under LABOUR! You just have to IGNORE the bad people for all
your blood pressures to be alright!
So my fellow Islamic chums, BRACE YOURSELVES FOR VICTORY AGAINST THE BIGOTS! Even
other Muslim brothers who may call for calm and peace must be reminded of the TRUTH
of the Prophet MUHAMMAD’S (pb-bloody-uh mate) STRUGGLE SINCE THE EARLIEST
DAYS OF HIS GANG against those souls who were suspicious of him, and said ‘Lo,
he’s got a bloody attitude problem mate’.. WELL THAT NEVER STOPPED PEOPLE IN
LABOUR BEING SUCCESSFUL! No
no no, sorry. I was just venting. I was just being, er, silly.
Stay
peaceful, joyous and EVER BELIEVING IN THE WAYS OF NEW LABOUR for a new,
bright, fresh 5-Star washed future!
So
like us! That’s your integration
there,
whilst still allowing cultural
freedom!
ALLAH BLESS LABOUR!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: That
Allah, he doesn’t take any sh*t does he? His emissaries know how to deal with
dissent mate! Any whiff of misbehaviour, like being Jewish or not like the
Prophet generally, and Whuuuf! You lose your wasted life and into the burning
fire mate! And don’t do it again! What a
lovely bloody life! No wonder Islam’s the fastest growing religion, with all
that lovely devotional violence! I know that feeling from when I was
in the Communists!
What a handsome couple! Talk about
your child
brides! Woof!
(Oh come
on, it’s OK! It’s perfectly normal
in
places which aren’t contaminated
by Western
Puritanism! And as somebody
from
Labour, I like something extra
tender
myself! Sexual
Lib mate!)
DIVERSITY
IN ACTION! That’s what Red Britain is all
about!
Nobody
is forced into seeking spiritual enlightenment, unless you’re my fascist
parents dragging me to church! Pffffft!
Slaves to a dead sandle-wearer, that’s all they were!
BOYCOTT CHRISTIANITY! VOTE
LABOUR!
(What a rational and balanced site
that last link was, from a Left Wing perspective!)
HOW DARE BROWN BE SO RACIST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
And it gets worse in Britain today! Unthinkable under Labour, but so are
so-called ‘No-Go Areas’ or ‘Islamic’ ‘terrorists’! We
don’t like to say those words anyway, which I mean just proves it!
·
White
bigots flee from towns and cities to escape the nasty darkies! That’s what
we mean in our whinges about a racist society; no wonder we believe in no
borders, as at least we’d have a few more decent people to rule for once!!
·
·
RRRRRAAAAACCCCCCIIIIIIIISSSSSTTTTTTSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
God, even if you’re ‘accidentally’ racist you must still be banned! Perception
Is Reality, that’s our motto! VOTE LABOUR!
·
·
RRRRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCIIIIISSSSSSSSSTTTSSSS!!!!!!!!
Oh my God, oh my God mate! All the Muslims of Britain ask is to import and retain a
growing number of their own laws, customs and cultures, having people punished
for wanting them to ‘integrate’ as the Islamic leaders say they do! Not too much to ask is it,
especially in the face of the TRAITORS
abusing the concepts of Tolerance and Inclusiveness!!!! I mean, what with
all our attempts to fluff up Islam, we get that BITCH
Wafa Sultan, dumping the legal system of the Religion Of
Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bloody hell, they’re
big on discipline, and they’ve got the most flexible and open-minded
attitude to sex I’ve seen of any culture! Gary
Glitter and other misunderstood sexual visionaries wouldn’t say no! And to
think the Christians think Islam is a phoney faith on religious grounds!
Pfft! All the devout
Wahabbis wouldn’t agree, hence the
shouters!!!!!!! In
the face of extremist bigotry, let’s have the Muslims pack
Parliament to balance against evil! Hail our
new masters mate!
·
·
People in
Labour are lambasted online by ignorant people, and even media people! Any more of this baffling
behaviour and I’d start to think they were on the side of the racists!
·
·
LITTLEJOHN
MOCKING GORDON BROWN?!?!?!?!?!?! Don’t you realise that Labour values are beyond mockery? (Or should that be above mockery?)
·
·
It still IRKS me that dispite being elected as the
FIRST FREEDOM-FIGHTING BLACK PRESIDENT, both fans
and colleagues
couldn’t even remember anything he ever did!
I’ll set them straight myself: Like Livingstone, HE DECLARED DEFEAT IN THE WAR
ON DRUGS! (Well, at least partially, which is a start.) Now let’s see him do the same in the War On
Terror…….. (And for others? Oh, go
Google it! (But at least HOPE MADE
A COMEBACK for America with Barack Obama’s rise, which makes up for
everything!))
·
·
Who’d’ve
thought the Iranian regime could be so callous over this whole vote thing? Not the
Left, that’s for sure, leastways going by my surprise!
But
at least there’s one bit of good news… THE NATION’S PREMIER RED, if people
could be bothered to listen to me more, IS NOW ON YOUTUBE! VOICE OF REASON! VOTE LABOUR!
NOW I’ll get the bigots listening….
Hmm, so I’m now on Youtube, eh? In
that case, perhaps my current affairs broadcast pilots will get noticed by the
media companies, who can then propel me to fame and glory. Well, I am Labour and if a party can be universally
loved and wanted, so can I!
SO LET ME SHOWCASE THIS ROUGH
DRAFT FOR MY LATEST UNBIASED DOCUMENTARY, DESIGNED TO GET ME BACK IN TOUCH WITH
THE SCRUFFS:
WHY CRITICISE
LABOUR? YOU’RE NO ANGELS YOURSELVES, EVERYONE ELSE IN THE NATION, YOU RUDDY HYPOCRITES;
Parts 1, 2, 3. (Contains bad language, as every good Left
Wing programme should!)
DON’T WANNA JINX IT, BUT WE’RE GONNA WIN!!!
Gordon
Brown himself will lead us straight to election victory! If you believe in something
desperately or dementedly enough it comes true, as proved by New Labour dogma
defying so-called ‘reality’ and keeping us in office since 1997! Oh yes mate, Golden
Gordon knows exactly what he’s doing, so have faith in the neo-Red Cause
mate!
BEWARE
THE RISE OF THE PUBLIC! KEEP THEM IN CHECK; VOTE LABOUR!
THINGS ARE GOING GREAT IN IRAN
MATE, what with the exciting electoral race between
President and Public. The ‘unscrupulous’ president, in a surprise only to we in
the Left, romped home against his libertarian opponent to gain a landslide
majority. The opponent has now organised huge protest marches against the
result.
But despite all the popcorn-chompingly tense fun,
we Reds are in a quandary – Do we back the Public, letting those wild loonies
seize control through their own power-hungry conduit, or do we say to the
president ‘Look, you won fair and square with no evidence of vote-rigging (cos
we never look to find out, either here or abroad), and you’re alright mate’?
Yes, the president is unstable,
but I mean, best a single unstable leader getting his way than a huge bloody
mob of them in the public! Even worse! That would only serve to politicise
them, completing their corruption by letting them try to work a system they’re
ill-equipped, mentally, to handle! Our way worked well, as a sweep across the
map during the Cold War just proves, with ALL publics kept under control for
once in their bloody lives mate.
But
that doesn’t satisfy other people in the Left mate, who moan people like me
side with the Establishment and therefore have lost the glittering prize of the
Muslims’trust! We’ll never get by without that mate, and that hurts even more
than being told the lie that Western Lefties prefer fantasy to reality! As bloody if!!!!!
BEWARE
THE DAILY MAIL! All it does is depress its readers by exposing the righteous
excesses of your ‘PC’ rulers!
It’s not just that, though. It rails against the modern
world just because it’s no longer 1959! No, no, 1934 actually! Yea, yea, take that Daily Mail!!!!! It doesn’t like that
things have changed, so they have to complain like the reactionary slugs they
are!
Just one day’s reading throws up these gems of
Colonel Blimp mentality:
It reports the
story of a couple quite reasonably wanting an automatic safety light
disconnected for religious reasons, an article I myself just had
to comment on into my dictation machine. (Those farmers will have to wait a
bit longer for my letters answering their piffling concerns then, as will my
bored philistine personal assistant…),
An article about a
council quite justifiably charging a woman for halving the size of her son’s
grave because she was too stubborn to do it herself. (Those things can be a bloody death trap but I bet
Littlejohn won’t see it that way!),
Then came a story
about a council rather decently charging the taxpayers 65 Grand to pay for
letting them know that gipsies are all nice and lovely. Recession my backside, we in the Reds are never short of
readies for such vital community works!
And then I saw this
heart-warming tale of how a man was chucked out of a cathedral on the
off-chance he was someone from the BNP; ‘cos it’s best to be safe than sorry, particularly when the Church is
now being knee-jerk judgemental to Left Wing specifications now…
Then I reached this
glowing NEW
LABOUR POLICY OBJECTIVE of a FABULOUS NEW TAX TO AID STRICKEN BROADBAND USERS
on not-so-fast an Internet connection as we’d like! Cos if you want
the best, you have to pay for it, something which we in Labour have always
liked to take to the BLOODY MAX mate! Labour’s
finally working, as we always wanted EVERY family to have the fifth VITAL
anemity to complement their gas, water, electric and that other one!!!!!!
And finally I saw the best article of all today, the one where that
bloody subversive got his come-uppance by being named and shamed for his
disrespect to the System. And a bloody policeman as well, I just
don’t believe it! I
MEAN, WHEN I WAS A RADICAL SUBVERSIVE, THAT WAS ALRIGHT BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE ME
WEREN’T IN CHARGE THEN! GET WITH THE TIMES, PC PLOD, AND STOP BEING SUCH AN
ARSE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FORCE NOT DIRECTLY APPOINTED BY OUR HOME
OFFICE!! This sort of thing just validates Labour ministers all
the more when they say that bloggers undermine respect for the Government,
deserving of it as you know we are!
Bloody Daily Mail. I wonder why
these tales of Enlightenment, Diversity, Tolerance and Respect for other
peoples’ ways of doing things are seen as negative things to the paper and its
readers? Probably ‘cos they’re bigoted anti-Progressive fascists, that’s the
only empathetic and balanced way of putting it!
DAILY ‘CAPITALIST RUNNING-DOG’ POST SCRIPT: And I’ll
tell you something else, the
paper’s columnists have a lot in common with continental defenders of
traditional culture, i.e. racists.
MORE Daily Mail cobblers! I don’t know why we in the
Red Brigade torture ourselves by reading it, I really don’t mate! (Probably
because we care!)
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN sides
with a Public whingeing at being punished for being the anti-recycling
reactionary pigs they are, plus the unjustified
criticism of clinic queue-jumpers who masquerade as gipsies to receive the
cream of the milk. Pfft! I’d actually reward them for their cunning
individuality!
SECTIONS
Britain and its noble people are
worth fighting for. Don’t let the Public spoil it for us!
Additional Red casework for any
serious scholar of the mentality of life here in the Westminster Bubble, pure
as it is in its isolation from the barbaric outside world!
JOHNATHAN’S TRIAL OF THE
CENTURY
Even people in Labour can be in the
wrong sometimes!
(Well, libelled by the bigoted
press and slandered by a hateful Public). It
can happen to any of us!
Catch up on your Left-related
concept listening.
All the education you’ll ever need
under one cyber-roof!
The
young people are the future. Make sure you get at them in order to ensure they
can create a future fit for us!
VOTE LABOUR – The SOLE
mainstream party to be directly refined from pure Red raw materials!
(ignore
all imposters!)
Catalogue of crime?
Pfft! And anyway, Tories are on there as well, which means that if they do
naughty things too, then it’s all alright! That’s what we say! (But still,
there’s even Tory crime we Reds actually revere – ‘TREASON’
for the good of the nation!)
CHEER
ON THE LABOUR ‘POLICE STATE’! After all, it’s the only way to be TOUGH
ON CRIME AND TOUGH ON THE CAUSES OF CRIME!!!
How DARE you slam New Labour as incompetent! Just because you don’t want what we want, you have to insult as inept! Even
journalistic pseudo-fascists aren’t as childish as you in the
Public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU LIKE ME? ….er, DO YOU, LIKE ME, RUN OUT OF AD-HOMINEM SMEARS WHEN
IN THE MIDDLE OF A SNOOTY, SELF-RIGHTEOUS SCREAMING DIATRIBE, er, DEBATE WITH A
BIGOT? Well, this handy
online book of often tenuously construed offensive language explains how
users of even the most innocuous descriptions of me can now be slammed as a
filthy white supremacist BNP person! (This is a MUST for all schools mate!) They’ll never call the likes of I ‘uppity’ ever
again without falling foul of the race relations board from now on!!!!!!!
What the
time is NOW in Britain’s best example of a multicultural mix! (Pity I live mostly
in the fields of Shropshire, away from all that loveliness I claim to be a part
of!)
QUALITY
RED BACKLASH SPOT! A premier
ex-Communist (like myself) lambasts Gordon Brown’s patriotic lip-service. Even
if he doesn’t mean a word of it, Golden Gordon can’t even SEEM racist either!
GIVE YOUR
CHILDREN AN EDUCATION INTO WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BRITISH (UNDER NEW LABOUR)!
POLITICAL
CORRECTNESS is the greatest pragmatic dogma ever! Its alignment with the natural laws of
human nature means that it
perpetuates itself, though you wouldn’t think it to see the British fail to
take to it! (They’ve always been a quarrelsome bunch of misbehaving oafs!).
We’ll fix ‘em, don’t worry.
Although Cultural
Marxism is presented as somehow sinister in
this film, it is nevertheless informative. Our holy new
Politically Correct moral codes, which adult bigots react against, injects a
sense of responsibility and revulsion into the bloodstream of our neo-youth.
We’ve got them trained at least to be able to recognise how anybody thinking
different to us is a racist, homophobic far-Right Tory Hitlerite who favours a
race war over a class one! Some people just don’t have peace in their brains.
Left Wing purity has
allowed Western society to be improved by having the bigotry and conservatism
punished out of it. Threats of neo-Nazism and jail sentences hang over the
mostly middle-class male white bigots if they dare to call for the return to
their comfort zones of ‘traditional’ culture and values. (You don’t want the streets full of dead Muslims,
homosexuals and marching killers of the BNP with blood on their hands??!!??!!
That’s what makes people like them wrong.)
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT IN ALL YOUR
DOINGS – It’s in the name of Equality, Diversity and Freedom that we must force
people to live their lives how we want! One of those paradoxes of life, but it
can’t be questioned. Not after all our efforts to ‘destroy’ existing moral
frames such as Christianity for being oppressive! We’ve put all our money on
this horse, which is why it just can’t
be wrong!
So do as proper
teachers do and sit your children in front of this video; as you would by
constantly pausing the action to drone on and on with ‘additional’ information,
only to discover the narrator says the self-same things upon resumed playback.
VOTE LABOUR
– For the only worthwhile trip to take is a GUILT TRIP! (And an acid one, as I have often discovered since 1966!) Bathe in my
history and REJOICE!
We have a COMMON
PURPOSE to convert British public life to Red Supremacism without the
Public getting in the way for once! And all
organised in such a way that it makes any whistleblowers look like the ones who
are cranky conspiracy-obsessed nuts! Ah, that’s Left Wing planning mate!
All Glory in the UNIVERSAL LIBERAL-LEFT MANIFESTO!
(That and Allah,
obviously)
Well, here it is
for all the budding scholars of Political Science and Philosophy – THE COMPLETE
VOLUMES of the neutral and unbiased Lefty Ethos Of Peace, outlining as it does
the best method of transforming the
Western Hemisphere into one of tolerance, peace and equality. We must both
Enlighten as well as Punish the bigots who stand in our way – how else can we
have a world of free thinkers for a change??
WEBMASTER’S
NOTE (I like being ‘master’ of the readers. Labour is Power, see...):
I am one, well the one, of Johnathan Leftwinger MP’s
greatest admirers. In his time he has been a political Oracle, University renegade
if not actually a graduate, top quality Protest Singer (against the scourge of
the bigoted Public), an experienced broadcaster (who cut his teeth on the
seminal student radio circuit!) and Man Of The People (when they decide to
behave themselves).
At the moment I am
concentrating on a glamourous portrait, done in oils, of our benefactor. The
constituency will never be the same again since Johnathan applied his magical
reformist touch! I know most people ‘round here are moaning about him and Labour,
but they’ll wake up to the benefits he has brought before it’s too late.
Surely, they must!
The portrait, of Johnathan
standing in a sunlit meadow surrounded by apples, the Giver Of Life, has taken
rather too long to complete. Upon seeing the preliminary sketches he decided he
was depicted as too ugly. He instructed me in his manly voice that his picture
could never be ugly and that a true representation of his features should be
reproduced. I respectfully pointed out that it had to be one or the other, but
that didn’t stop him from screaming that I was a philistine and that he didn’t
deserve such shabby treatment. Of course, I wholeheartedly agree. We mustn’t
trash such a noble and wise figure, only doing but his best to re-invigorate
the moribund political scene.
However, the delay does mean
that my half a million pound grant from the County Council sub-Committee For
The Raising Of Awareness Of High Art will be increased for my trouble. Of
course, it’s not the money. The money merely represents a tangeable measurement
against which the artistic merits of the portrait and the importance of its
subject are viewed. Although you cannot put a price on national treasures such
as these, it’s always a good idea to try. To try to demonstrate to the Public
just how actually valuable Mr. Leftwinger is, in real terms, of course.
(Indeed, Leftwinger holds some sway with the Culture Secretary. He’s still got
the photographs for a start, whatever that means).
Previous essays can be found on http://www.thelabourparty.org.uk/
page (‘An MP Writes’)
________________________________________________________________________
Classic
Quote:
“I am in the right, but not of
The Right!” – Hansard; October 21,
1998
RELEVANT
news to enhance your life:
20th Nov.
2006: EXCITING EXCLUSIVE – Leftwinger Portrait
Coming Along Nicely!
It
is my pride and pleasure to report to you that the picture I’m painting of our
glorious MP is taking shape. According to the clock I’ve spent £310,847 of my council grant and I’ve
already reached the point of the prototype! Mr. Leftwinger is very pleased at
the progress.
Unfortunately,
I shall run over budget and over time, but Labour are past masters at dealing
with situations of this type. Indeed, Mr. Leftwinger is making a succession of
telephone calls as I type, thus ensuring that money and time shall continue to
flow freely until the project reaches completion.
And
here is the prototype in all its glory, signed by the man himself, ready for
charity auction:
_______
As
a post-script I would just like to mention that many people (well two, but for
me and my social circle that is many people) have said that Mr. Leftwinger is a
megalomaniac for commissioning his own portrait. Well, I say NO! He merely agreed to it, that’s all, which
makes all the difference. Plus, it’s being done by me, an ordinary lowly
person, for that common touch. He’d let a proper modern artist paint it if he
was just a vain, self-serving pompous kind of person. Mind you, it will be sold
by a modern artist, but that’s just for publicity. We hope to sell it to a
tax-funded art gallery you know, in order to preserve the Leftwinger legacy.
And it will ensure that even more millions will be taken from the Public purse
and put where it belongs – the Treasury.
QUOTE, UNQUOTE!
‘ That depends on the criminals! ’ – Jack Straw’s reply
to Ann Widdecombe when she asked him whether we could see crime falling under
Labour (1998).
‘ That depends on the germs! ’ – Johnathan
Leftwinger’s reply to a constituent asking whether we could see a drop in the
rising Superbug levels in British hospitals (2006). ‘ Can I come in the Cabinet now, please? ’
Johnathan Leftwinger considers himself to be
the Sgt. Pepper of politicians, even Left Wing ones. So it's quite apt that he
goes on this little jaunt...
Johnathan Leftwinger
Revises some Beatles classics.
Hello Public. I've just been playing my old Beatles records. That was a trip down memory lane. Those songs were the soundtrack of a generation. Somehow everyone remembers where they were the day they first heard Sgt. Pepper. I was in the Common Room debating Adam Ant's birthday.
Excellent as these songs were, it is time to bring them into line with 21st Century Thinking. Let's make the old standards the soundtrack for today's generation of directionless youngsters, with me, Johnathan Leftwinger, saviour of Leftist youth everywhere. I'm just that humble.
First class rocking there! I should think if Mr. McCartney
himself heard these anthems when the young people sing them (as they doubtless
will), I would say he'd be more than a little impressed with the quality. Which
just proves it. And I am special you know. So much so I’m highly misunderstood.
Indeed, when I was a boy I was nearly put in that special hospital; And I was
nearly carted off again when I used to have my John Lennon primal scream
sessions in the cloakroom when I used to work at that nursery. Which just
proves it.
And because both myself and Messrs. Lennon and McCartney are
all premier Lefties, I should say the blend between their
world and mine has been seamless. And it all helps to wash away the guilt
that any decent British person will be feeling about the Empire, which is part
of the punishment for being white, fascist, boring old us. Which is all too
reasonable.
VOTE LABOUR!
DEMOCRACY IN ACTION with
Johnathan Leftwinger
Hello Readers. If you’re anything like me then you’ll see
yourself as charming and respectable and intelligent and pure. And quite right
too, you’re a credit to the Labour Movement if you’ve got those qualities. And
I’m sure you’ll admire my humility in passing these compliments.
Check these Internet Links on the World Wide Web. You’ll
find straight facts and unbiased, impartial opinions on all the things which
matter to you. For example, admire the Labour rebel (why hide it when you can
revel in it?!) or enjoy the soothing words of my fellow MPs when discussing
your favourite views. They’re more adept at molly-coddling you lot than I am
(notice more humility there).
You have to admit that no matter how you cut it, no
matter how you argue, Labour have the last word because it’s the right word! Makes sense!
My
Hero, well one of them.
MEET
MY BROTHER
Says
social magnate and political glabrate JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER
My
close relative works at the local equality department. And he has created a
personalised profile of his work in a self-congratulatory web-page, as is his
right. (We in Labour have learned that a truly self-congratulatory web-page is
something only we can offer!)
Since
I was elected, my brother rose through the ranks and ensconsed himself at the
top position (in his cubicle). Biased folk have accused us of nepotism, but I
don’t see what setting fire to things has got to do with anything! (Indeed, a
Scottish Labour Lord did that to some hotel curtains last year and he’s still
there! Proof indeed that eccentricity shouldn’t hold anyone back these days!)
Since
becoming such a high-level VIP in equality circles, almost as important as me
myself, he has changed his name by deed-poll; he wanted something dynamic and
to escape from his ‘middle-class, cosy, Tory badminton club, old imperial
school tie, Bisto slavemaster, cricket balls background’. (KUDOS ON THE SHAME
MATE! WELL DONE!)
Together
we have fought for equality and justice; me in Parliament and him in the civil
service. IF ONLY BLACK AND WHITE PEOPLE GOT ON AS WELL IN BRITAIN TODAY (YES, I
AM INDEED LOOKING AT YOU WHITE PEOPLE!)!
