(FOR THE ________________________ DISTRICT,
GIVING YOU THAT PERSONAL TOUCH!)
Hello
Taxpayers!
Helping Those Who Help Us!
This is your friendly Equality
Department Resources And Outreach
Services Co-Ordinator here, welcoming you to a
webpage packed with fun, help and assistance for anybody in need. Relevant people in need.
Helping lesbians access refuse
disposal facilities or gently cradling drug addicts through cold turkey (with a
whole host of needle exchange, heroin administration and septum replacement
initiatives) is a full time job. Yep, from nine on the dot to half past three,
four days a week, it’s hard work helping people, but worth it!
Unfortunately, the public object to
paying their full whack in taxes. This means that some services, such as
helping sick or old normal people, must be scrapped. That’s gotten some angry
letters into the local press. As has my so-called ‘disgusting’ pay rise. But on
the plus side, we did manage to wangle a police investigation into playground
racism at local schools, resulting in a juicy smear campaign against a
middle-class headmaster by local radicals, so all was not entirely lost.
Many local people accuse us of overly-over-representing,
as they should term it, selected minority groups based more on race or religion
than disability or illness. I must respond. The 1976 race relations laws state
that we white liberals can persecute our own, which is an interesting little anomaly.
We are a non-political organisation so all we can do is obey this law with
impunity and with the usual diligence of our department. If the politicians
change this law then we shall quickly and instantly adjust our policies to
match (after the five year adjustment period of course, providing the papers
don’t get lost of course). Until then, illiterate Eastern Europeans or newly
arrived Muslims get first dibs on jobs and nice houses. So don’t blame us for
merely doing our jobs.
Listen to my fireside chat, well, deskside chat. Aren’t I warm, aren’t I caring. Just like
you. People need help; the weirder, more violent, drugged up or multicultural
in racial origin the better. They need it most. We have the whole world to care
for now. White man’s burden! So I’m afraid the orphans from up the road will
have to mend their own leaky roof again this year. (Just like the blind people
of
Hear the entire
situations overview described in such a broad, plainspeaking and
trippy manner that even you could understand it!
Ron Lenin
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SPECIAL, LOVELY, WONDERFUL, CARIN’ & SHARIN’
EQUALITY NEWS!
(Courtesy of the Patronising Twaddle
Department)
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MORE EQUALITY CAN BE FOUND AT:
http://www.swp.org.uk/swss/ Socialist
Workers’ Party student division. If there’s a more unbiased website
sponsoring rights and equality then we don’t know it! Right On!
http://www.themilitant.com Oooh
no! I spoke too soon! Heeheeheehee!
http://www.jewsonfirst.org/06b/slavic_christians.html
People
like this just sicken me, us. How can we have true equality if everybody’s allowed to have their say?!
http://gaylife.about.com/cs/mentalhealth1/a/gaybacklash.htm
If
it wasn’t for a bigoted Media, a bigoted political Establishment (except
Leftists), a bigoted public and a bigoted Private Sector then this man could be
on telly and in all the newspapers and schools programmes, 24 hours a day, with
his straightforward, honest, non-partisan purveyance of the facts. You’ve all
got blood on your hands!
http://www.karamah.org/home.htm Muslims, Women, Lawyers and Human
Rights in one all-encompassing, easy, orgasmically
exciting package! Another MUST for your favourite websites list!
Non-Political
as we are, this is still worth a mention: Gordon Brown wants fuel companies to
cut their prices to slash the rising number of OAPs freezing to death each
winter for the past decade or so. SO IT WAS
THE GREEDY CORPORATES TO BLAME ALL ALONG FOR THESE DEATHS (AS WELL AS THE TORY
NAZIS)! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!
Lastly……
http://www.crimereduction.gov.uk/victims/victims2.htm
A
couple of old-skool equality concerns.