The Left is Always Right!
Let us at least
attempt to answer just why good decent people are always thwarted and how best
the swivel-eyed imperialist bigots who infest our society can be successfully
counter-attacked in reprisal.
LET
THE LIBERTARIANS BE THE AUTHORITARIANS YOU NEED TO TEACH YOU YOUR LESSONS IN
LIFE MATE: This is the
textbook example of how to wrong-foot the bigoted Public whenever they lash
out against Authority in their ‘despair’ over high crime rates, rates set to really
explode under New Labour. Nothing to do with us of course, we’re just the
government. It’s up to the rest of the nation to behave themselves after we’ve
dispensed the orders, hence the current anarchy of anti-Labour sentiment in the
country.
Of course there’s crime. Lots of crime and there always
will be. No need
to have your head in the Right-Wing clouds by pretending we can live in a
ne’er-do-well and ‘dirty wog’-free utopia. No no no, if you have a
realistic view that we will never ever stop crime properly, then we can lower
our standards and targets accordingly; so thus we can instead be concentrating
on buying criminals off with shorter sentences, cushier jail conditions,
mandatory early releases on top as well as utilising the softly-softly approach
to its fullest capability (PCSOs, to name a splendid example). All in the
name of security, as if we scratch the criminals’ backs they’ll at least think
twice before slipping the switchblade into ours.
But how to sell the
bright, shiny new Libertarian sunshine rainbow way to the Reactionaries? They,
after all, vote us into the power we wield today, so the least we can do is pay
lip-service to doing whatever it is they want. For some reason that long since
went sour, but it worked in the past so all we can do is repeat the procedure
until it starts to work again. New Labour, New Vision!
But all you budding
Student Unionist political instructors out there can follow the two-point plan
to make the future Public reckon that we Lefties put them above our dogma once
more: 1) Point out the
mayhem of overcrowded jails stuffed full of recidivist criminals, which can
only be remedied by removing the small percentage of the mentally ill to secure
hosipitals, increasing a supply of medicinal narcotics to addicts and decently
rehabilitating the minority of lags who really want to benefit from it, plus 2) Imply that this can all be achieved at the
expense of proper jail terms and solid punishment, something which can only
demoralise the already shaken-in-spirit underachieving, Credit
Crunch-hit crims of the coming years. Just not mentioning it as a vital requirement is enough, and this has
the added benefit of you being able to call any detractors ideologically
backward when they question why you haven’t mentioned it. You’re the one to
deflect the bigotry, see, as the troublemaking comes to you.
(Remember, of course, to
mention only the individual case histories of those the Public could feel sorry
for in support of your contentions, always careful to avoid
the subject of the kind of persons who truly ‘deserve’ solid punishments during
lengthy jail terms - for example the much-maligned alternative-cultured, often
violent ‘hoodies’ and ‘chavs’. (They’re people too, but
many of the Public think them inferior beings in typical victim-mentality.
And the price to be paid for that is extra unpopularity, even though it’s their
paranoia to blame)).
VOTE LABOUR – Because you’ve got to give
even those people a chance to flourish, and if they end up rejecting those chances
then at least we can take full responsibility of shrugging our shoulders and
saying, ‘We’ve got clear consciences because at least we gave them the chance
to be good boys and girls, bigots!”. Alright, most of them tend to reject such a chance but at least it’s
been their choice and not our choice, thus empowering them for the first time!
They’re even getting the vote now, which just proves how they should be fully
participating first-class citizens just like everyone else mate!
It’s all about give and take mate,
all about being adult enough to give people all the chances they need to learn
their lessons in life, however many they be. If you don’t give them a chance
then they won’t give you a chance. And that of course works on the logic that
if we give them the chance to give us a chance then at least it gives them a
chance to think about whether they want to give us a chance – and take that
chance on taking a chance on what we want to do to give them a chance. (But even
so that all hinges on whether the Public wants to give them a chance, cos if
the Public don’t want to give them a chance and therefore turn round to us in
Labour and say “Don’t chance your chances on those chancers, cos we won’t give
you a chance if you chance it”, then how can we possibly chance our arm on
trying to satisfy the Public who won’t chance the chances that we chance on the
chances because they don’t want to chance on our chance.)
So take your chance on us,
otherwise how can we have the chance to strike up the chance of…. Never mind. You just don’t
understand, do you?! You simpletons are jus too slow to understand elementary
Red logic obviously, which just proves your incapability to debate the issues
you should leave only to me. After all, even the likes of
ex-Communist Jack Straw can be corrupted by the wayward desires of the Public
enough to become their mouthpiece on the issue!
We good Puritans of
the anti-Racist Left well know that there is no such thing as Britishness!
Sometimes it takes popular righteous bloggers, such as the aptly named Lenin, to stand and speak the whole truth at all times. Yes, he often lambasts New Labour without a shred of understanding for the need for one to compromise one’s core values on the altar of Public Opinion (ie Bigotry), but anyone not of a tawdry mind just has to admit he makes many a decent point.
For example, whilst he ticks off our celestial governing party for wanting to crack down on Islamic ‘extremists’, it does have to be said that perhaps we do go a bit too far into meddling in peoples’ lives. Indeed, it’s one thing to crack down on the Public for their rubbish bin atrocities for example, but quite another to crack down on so-called ‘Muslim supremacism’. That kind of thing smacks of racism, plus it’s boring too, what with the usual waffle about ‘caliphate this and sharia that’. Don’t the Muslims get complained about and asked to take responsibility for themselves and each other and mix in too much? No wonder they get resentful! After all, that can only lead to even the likes of the BNP gaining credibility by exposing devout Muslim values, because people can mistake and confuse ‘radical’ Islamic culture for barbarism, savagery and a supremacism even worse than anything the truly evil Far Right can espouse!
Next we’re asked why a bunch of incompetents from Crawley aren’t being represented now they’ve lost their jobs. The Left has been thrown completely off-balance during this recession as even staff from top Red newspaper The Morning Star rise against the status quo! And you can’t do that now we’re the Establishment! Even other people in New Labour know that the term ‘British Jobs For British Workers’ is racist and divisive, so why priority should be given to people who live here if someone from, say, Nigeria or Poland can do the same work for less costs is a mystery to me. If Gordon Brown ever made a blunder it was to legitimise this taboo phrase, thus empowering all those hateful white oafs to mutiny. They’re striking a blow for racism, you know that! Pigs.
And as if final proof were needed that expressions of British Identity need quashing as it attracts the wrong sort of person, a disgustingly racist play has been put on at that most sacred of ceremonial shrines to Neo-Liberal culture (or the National Theatre if you like). Sacrilege mate! I don’t care if the caricatures of blacks and Jews highlight British bigotry in a similar way the creator of Alf Garnett mutated that character, IT IS STILL SUPREMELY HATEFUL AND THUS THE WRITER SHOULD MIX WITH HIS FELLOWS IN THE NATIONAL FRONT, the vanguard of pro-British expression which doesn’t surprise me. And if it takes somebody with so-called no sense of humour who hates his own privileged monocultural past, then so be it. Just proves my wisdom by knowing my onions.
VOTE LEFTWINGER and re-elect me as your MP. Oh yes mate, only when the party and nation goes as fully Left as these bloggers want will they stop complaining. And it will truly raise the nation to glory! (Nothing wrong with Britain other than it’s full of British!)
ABSORB THE HONOUR OF RED
VALUES No. 4,345:
1.
Once again, computer
database projects have fallen into shambles despite their astronomical costs
under New Labour. Looks bad, I admit, but we in the party are so hot on computers
that our enthusiasm for all things digital will make sure we don’t lose heart
on our own whims yet, regardless of the ‘inefficiency’and so-called
‘inadequacy’ of what we chuck people! Rest easy knowing that the projects to
continue to computerise both the People and the State shall continue unabated,
and for sanity’s sake I have the Labour Party computer itself giving me his
pixellated word on that. And we all know how the word of somebody from
Labour can be trusted..!
2. When I, an above-reproach emissary from the
greatest Neo-Liberal Government ever, get driven to holler and bawl about
things like the racist
Public going on strike, then YOU IN THE PUBLIC KNOW FULL WELL YOU’VE OVER-STEPPED YOUR
BOUNDS AND SO MUST BE SCREECHED AT LIKE NAUGHTY CHILDREN for your own
education! It’s a showcase of the finest ‘deranged’ Left Wing debating skills I
picked up at university and in the Young Trotskyite League, the
kind of thing which leads to the country’s enhancement under people like me.
3. And perhaps most importantly of all, it’s a good
thing that supremacist bitch nurse was punished for offering to say a prayer
for a patient. After all, you can’t have people imposing their doctrines on
everyone else regardless, which is why we pure ‘PC’advocates smear anyone
complaining about this kind of Wisdom as weirdo extremists themselves!
Once again it takes
somebody from LABOUR to stand up for core
Islamic cultural values...
Censorship has been carried to even dizzier heights now that Lord Ahmed
has forced the ‘racist’ movie FITNA from being shown, albeit only within
Parliament.
It shockingly seems that not even other politicians can be trusted to be
wise and open-minded enough to instantly boycott the expose’ of Islamic
cultural achievement without even seeing it - it
took the gallant Ahmed, a Muslim himself, to bring pressure to bear on
Parliamentary officialdom to get the showing cancelled!
Common Sense rides victorious again. After all, we don’t want to risk another
Islamic riot in London, just as we’re experiencing a rash of them across Europe
as it is! As those community leaders say, it’s best not to upset them, just
accept whatever they want as fait-accompli, or accept the fact that making
them ‘fit in’ like everybody else is pure victimisation! You just can’t stir the moderate Muslim hornets’ nests, it’s
just basic wisdom!
They only wanted to ‘debate the issues’ at that private film showing!
DEBATE THE ISSUES? WHAT ISSUES? The fact that by scrutinising the very
ethos of Islam you show yourself up for the Islamophobe you are, Mr. Wilders?
Oh yes, that’s right mate. I bet you want, in your wildest dreams, for your
disgusting film to be sold as a box-set alongside the REVOLTING Undercover Mosques by Channel
Four! Yet
another case for the police it seems.
WHY DON’T THEY PICK ON CHRISTIANITY ANY MORE AND THUS
NOT BE RACIST, JUST HEALTHILY SCEPTICAL OF MEGALOMANIACAL ‘GODS’ AND THEIR
DEMENTED ‘PROPHETS’ AGAIN?! Much safer to push the cranky God-Botherers about
as at least they’re not as so-called ‘dangerous’! Why people can’t get their
priorities straight I just don’t know. VOTE LABOUR!
And the justice for All
things Islamic continues:
RED SPOT: Bigots would say it’s silly to celebrate Gladstone’s 200th
birthday by transforming a reading room into an Islamic cultural shrine,
particularly when Gladstone
‘warned’ about Islam in the same way Churchill warned about Nazism. But I
say you CAN’T ignore Islam today, relevant as it is to both world and domestic
affairs. You can’t hold your head in the sand, because…..
If the Prince wants to atone for his three
year-old thought crime, let him pay for my new posters to be plastered all
around the constituency instead of the Public. THEN he’ll be back in Leftist
good books for being so beautiful as to not insult even the violent freedom
fighters who are part of the Religion Of Peace!
_________________________________________
Yet ANOTHER long and
continuous rant about Gaza, in true Lefty spirit…
For let us all honour the Islamic
human rights activists, bravely inflicting ever greater riots outside Israeli
embassies in the name of freedom and tolerance. Must be if Left-Wing people
take up their cause too in this latest expression of free speech!
After all, you can’t have the Israelis being allowed
to act in such a bestial fashion in the Middle East, which is why our peaceful
Muslim bretheren have no option but to take to the streets in even-handed
reprisal. That’ll teach those Zionist supremacists to do to the Palestinians
what they did to the Jews, in retaliation for what the Palestinians had the
temerity to do to Israel in the first place. It’s all so simple and
non-hypocritical when put like that isn’t it!
Don’t think of the current anti-war protests as
looted shops, burned out cars and injured policemen, oh no. The bigger picture
is that it’s all about Peace, and compromised Peace lands us only with the
biggest Islamic riots since last week! And this serves as a lesson to all
the rest of us: If even whole nations have the temerity to react to ‘terrorist’
aggression, then
the poor misunderstood Mohammadeans will have no option left but to react in
the most ‘barbarous’ manner since the Satanic
Verses scandal! (Yea, Salman Rushdie well and truly got his
come-uppance for exposing the
so-called savagery and degradation of devout Islam! Keeping your mouth shut
is only polite mate!)
There’ll be peace on Earth, thinking rationally
about it, only when other people stop being the aggressors by doing things both
the Reds and Muslims don’t like mate! So anybody seeking to blame those
actually responsible for the riots are being naïve to the extreme mate!
THAT’S WHY YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE PEACE, MULTI-CULTURALISM, POSITIVE
DISCRIMINATION AND TOLERANCE! Otherwise there’ll
be a right old mischief, as Israel’s contempt of Appeasement just proves!
The Muslims are here doing what they want, and such a mighty cultural supremacy
for good, unmatched since that nasty old Hitler is lovely! Shows you’ve got
people who care!
VOTE LABOUR – There’s method to our so-called Politically Correct ‘Madness’!
ADDITIONAL: The BBC has undone all the good work of satisfying Neo-Liberal social
conditioners, such as we in New Labour, by refusing to air a charity appeal for
Palestine. And
look how angry the likes of we are! Refusing to get behind the ‘trendy’
side on each and every issue? THE TRAITOROUSNESS! They’re a State-funded station,
the State being us mate! Now that’s what I call dereliction of duty, bang to
rights mate! A sorry state of affairs, isn’t it BBC! AND
ALL IT DOES IS PLAY INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE WE DON’T AGREE WITH! God, the
inhumanity! (Just as Gordon Brown himself, NATIONAL BOSS OF ALL LEFTIES,
refuses to bow to righteous pressure to ‘slander’ Israel
a terrorist state! Poor poor Hamas!)
_______________________________________________
Johnathan’s
regime for his People inflicts a great breadth of wisdom and knowledge, not to
mention a total commitment and belief in only his own ideas and those of other
Red nations above him, as befits any modern Liberal fiefdom.
Today
the desktop dictation machine, recording for posterity, captured His
perfectly formed and watertight lecture for the new, open-minded policies
needed to deal with today’s unique problems tomorrow. (But only when
Johnathan becomes Prime Minister, after New Labour inevitably wins the next
election obviously.)
And
I only wanted his words for a letter to the boss of the new kiddies’ paddling
pool too! What a super educational
bonus!
___________________________________________________
OH MY GOD mate, the Israelis…! They can’t remain life’s
victims to be patronised by their Leftist superiors anymore, so
naturally the
terrorist interlopers must of course lose their grubby little war against
the plucky victims of Palestine!
It’s all in the name of fairness and self-determination for those who wish to see
Israel destroyed and the voyeuristic Jews
displaced, just like when they took it over the first time. And the recent Muslim
riots in Sweden now and outside
the Isreali Embassy just prove how followers of the Religion Of Peace just
have no concept of the correct way to react to injustice, what
with practically all of the religion being so fluffy and benign and what have
you.
It can feel so lonely being a proper Lefty
when the intolerant Public are about, so I garner a great warmth and feeling of
kinship when I read an in-tune
popular Red blogger like this fine and consistent chap. For example, on THE
ECONOMIC SITUATION he relevantly states that the momentum of anti-war
protest anger can be used to kickstart serious unrest over job cuts, that
Muslims should be encouraged to become more militant (the by-product of this
extra community tension to be used to weaken the far-right and strengthen the
‘far’-Left) and that Israel has no right to exist. Top class, pure Leftist
theology in action there - it’s just a pity that his only real fault is to
criticise we Neo-Coms in New Labour. (But still, when you have to water down
your hard-core sub-communistic pragmatism even more to become electable, it’s
no wonder so many old-guard Labourites feel that the chalice has been poisoned
for the sake of power.)
(Note: When even
the likes of Nick Griffin are sitting up and taking notice of our noble
radicals uniting with unstable Muslims in the fight against oppression and
order then at least somebody is doing their job properly!! I just hope that
when the Neo-European
New World Order has been set up, with Labour acting as valuable consultants
at least, then the ‘disenfranchised’ British workers would at last feel sorrow
for not joining with the student revolutionary-types when they had the chance
to make things turn out so differently!)
Well, well well. Mad Melanie Phillips is at it
again with her rabid Right-Wingery. Just makes her wrong by default, doesn’t it.
Any serious Left Winger with his/her/its finger on the pulse should rail
strongly against the silly Jew’s barmy call to allow men to murder their wives
in certain circumstances! (I mean, alright, she patently so-called
‘doesn’t’ when her article is read properly, but I mean bloody hell – who’s to
dictate how some equally-daft Mail readers can interpret her words in their
loopy, alternative-reality ‘Broken’ version of Britain!!!!!! Makes me glad I’m
sane over here in Labour.)
And lastly, on a lighter note, sour-faced
comedy revisionist Graham Linehan, co-writer of Father Ted back in his
non-reactionary glory days, says that too much swearing on television makes the
dialogue uncomfortably aggressive. I bet he thinks that ‘too much’ swearing
sets the script at the lowest common denominator, stifling real creativity and
a proper expression of a character’s frustration or angst and all! Luckily
for all us Red bloggers, one particularly fine proponent of cutting-edge,
boundary breaking creative ‘foul’ness replies to him in a suitably
incisive and witty manner. SO UP YOURS, ‘GRANDMA’ LINEHAN, PERHAPS YOU
SHOULD PUT IN TO WRITE LAST OF THE BLINKERED OLD STUFFY COLONEL BLIMP, HEAD IN
THE SAND TO THE REALITIES OF LIFE SUMMER WINE!
LEARN
THE TRUE MEANING OF ‘CHRISTMAS’…
…Santa
and Whisky, obviously.
The Public and Media often whinge
that New Labour’s so-called ‘arrogance’, which is actually a bluff no-nonsense attitude
which allows us not to suffer those fools gladly, leads us to ignore the past
when shaping our wise new future.
RUBBISH! We have learned plenty
from the past. Indeed, are
we not following in Cromwell’s footsteps in our attempts to eliminate Christmas?!
I mean, Christian ethos misdirects the Public’s faith from the new church of
Political Correctness, as established by the Frankfurt School. Lessons not
learned… Pah!
Naturally, I couldn’t even bring
myself to write about this racist
Christian pageant which only
serves to cause community tension when not watered down, which is why I’ve
left this Christmas message until the actual event is safely behind us.
I want you out there in the
Public to listen to my special
post-Christmas sermon and actually work out for yourselves why you’ve been
hoodwinked for so long into believing that Christmas actually has a part to
play in modern day, vibrant Multicultural Britain. (And what’s more, it also
contains a couple of avant-garde musical numbers recorded in the Johnathan
Leftwinger Studios (aka my Westminster office), just to add extra in-touch
normalcy! Oh yes, it’s a Christmas record to match Band Aid’s in social
importance and awakening!)
VOTE
LABOUR – Because if this
doesn’t make people see I’m right then I’m just going to have to delete all the
Christian dates from my district council’s official calendar again, just to prove
their supremacist irrelevance! Just how much more reasoned debate do they
need?!
OH
YES MATE, as a doctor-by-proxy (Labour did invent the NHS you know!), I’ve
had to prescribe myself a nebuliser
because I struggle to breathe during rants now. WELL PUBLIC, YOU’RE WELL ON
YOUR WAY TO SENDING A LABOUR PERSON TO HIS GRAVE AT LONG LAST! If you opened
your minds and absorbed all we tell you without question, I wouldn’t have to
shout!
And
the bloody Jews don’t help either, retaliating against the Hamas rocket attacks
and that. As
with the Sun King Obama Himself, like
any good Left Winger, I’m siding with the Muslims when their belligerent
attitude to the rest of the world gets a touch out of control. All the
Isrealis have to do to have peace in the Middle East is retaliate to rocket
attacks in equally slipshod amateur fashion, then abolish themselves. After
all, they STOLE the lands from the Muslim settlers in what we call Palestine in
1948 didn’t they. I mean, the Muslims took CENTURIES to civilise the lands they
conquered when Islam first made it big as a Religion Of Peace, then the Jews
just destabilise everything by nicking it back!!! Some people.
THE
HAMAS ROCKET LAUNCHES WERE ONLY A SYMBOLIC ATTACK ON ISRAELI SO-CALLED
SOVEREIGNTY, WHICH IS WHY IT ONLY KILLED 4 ISRAELI CIVILIANS ACCORDING TO MY
FIGURES. AS WAS THEIR ATTACK ON THE SOLDIERS, ETC. But that’s the trouble with
Zionist wall-building, hermit-like oppressors, they
just don’t tolerate any active positive demonstrations against them! Which
is why we pure Reds quite impartially
wallow in only Arab deaths by Isrealis, regardless of context. People just
don’t give way to Islamic empire-building enough, so everybody just gets
frustrated and killed. Have a bit of consideration!
(I
tell you, I’ve had far-right people pat me on the back, congratulating me on
waking up to the threat of US-backed Jewish supremacism. BUT I THINK THESE
HITLER-LOVING WIERDOS SHOULD STOP NICKING PURE, GOOD LIBERAL-MINDED VALUES and
get back to their holocaust-denials! Logical consequences
of their persecutory thoughts mate!)
Indeed,
a
pure Islamic Middle East would see only a beneficial return for the Jews,
regardless of what
the Koran orders its devout followers to think of them. For once, a
rational state of affairs would pervade the place, as
does Britain with Muslims in it. Tolerance
across the world follows in the Muslim wake mate!
VOTE LABOUR – I
see no reason for the growing tide of Islamophobia in this country I really
don’t. (Must go now, as you’re causing me to breathe heavy again simply by
having me explain myself all the time!)
Ah yes,
Public, just like BATMAN THE CAPED CRUSADER, we in Labour have honed our crimefighting
skills! Mind you, unlike that psychotic
vigilante, naturally adored by an equally eccentric Public, we don’t go in much
for bashing the so-called ‘bad guys’ on the basis that they have a tough enough
time as it is, suffering under the stress of being the pariahs of society and
everything.*
So, you’ll be pleased to learn, such open-mindedness
gives us plenty more time to focus on the genuine issues - such as silencing
dissent and opposition to perfectly rational and decent Labour Party plans for
English demographic and cultural abolition, not to mention necessary
destruction of backwards-looking ‘moral’ straitjackets. Indeed, that’s why Tory
nutcase Damian
Green has been arrested for HIS DISGUSTING PART IN THE SUPER-CONSPIRACY TO
BREAK OPEN THE WATERTIGHT NEW LABOUR STATE AND EXPOSE IT TO PUBLIC SCRUTINY!
THE SECURITY RISK ALONE WARRANTED THE
ANTI-TERRORIST SQUAD BARGING INTO THIS HORNETS’ NEST MATE! I know we in Labour
campaigned heavily on the principle of Open Government back in 1997, but I MEAN
BLOODY HELL! You lot get so angry all the time so it’s best to keep things
hushed up for everybody’s own good!
(Obviously, well OBVIOUSLY, it would be beyond
myself, a mere Backbench Labour MP without much real power to his humble yet
superior little name (I prefer the money really), to suggest
this has been officially state-sanctioned. Ooh no mate, can of worms there
you know. But if it was I’d be proud to belong to such an organisation which
can honestly say that LEAKING INFORMATION TO THE ENEMY, BE THEY POLITICIAN OR
JOURNALIST OR MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC, HAS NEVER BEEN OFFICIAL LABOUR POLICY. So
therefore, by logic, it surely doesn’t happen, does it?! That’s your paranoia
at work to think otherwise in the light of this juicy bit of lateral thinking! THAT’S
THE DUTY OF BEING A RESPONSIBLE GOVERNMENT SEEKING TO UPHOLD THE PRINCIPLE OF
KEEPING AS MANY SECRETS SAFE AS POSSIBLE, HENCE OUR TIGHT CONTROL OF FREEDOM OF
INFORMATION REQUESTS!
And even if it wasn’t state-sanctioned,
official or otherwise, then we can be justly proud of housetraining the police
to such an extent that the top cops can act on their own initiative to
safeguard the unbiased political secrets of Redness from the poisonous light of
day! Like Paddick or Blair, such men are chosen by God (the Labour Home Office)
for their divine
purity of thought and deed (political zeal and initiative). Oh yes mate, the ethos and self-motivation
for justice at the top is so so pure! So what else can you expect but a
rigourous defence of the status quo by officials who yearn to rise from
obscurity, to become as priceless and indispensable as we New Labour
politicians. As the young persons say, it’s like so totally worth even the
dissatisfaction of ordinary beat coppers who ‘can’t do their jobs properly due
to PC jobsworths’! No pain no gain!)
People might say to me that the content of
these leaks are in the public interest; so much so that everything in it
apparently appeared in the papers anyway. To which I say IT’S THE PRINCIPLE
OF THE THING! WE’VE GOT A TORY! Not a bad bag mate! We can say ‘Aaaaah,
weren’t you arrested by the police for criminal conspiracy? We in LABOUR refuse
to share a platform with a COMMON CRIMINAL’, and therefore dodge worthless
questions much more easily. And journalists have said to me that if anyone
should be arrested it’s the leaker bloke. To which I say YOU FILTHY GUTTER
PRESS MATE! Just ‘cos one of your lot did the self same thing, you have to
DEFEND THE CRIMINAL (where it’s not needed)! To think they’d try that logic
on Labour! (AND WHO GAVE THE LEAKER PERMISSION TO LEAK? Not a question worth
answering as it’ll end up pointing back up the chain to somebody in Labour, AND
THAT CANNOT BE! And if he leaked on his own initiative? WE GOT A TRAITOR!
WORKING FOR LABOUR!!!! We’ve got the concession on that mate, don’t
crowd the market!)
So now you know why we in Labour
try so hard to destroy the insignificant and out of touch BNP every five
minutes! Now you know why we ‘PC’ people have victimised
the Public and other
bigots through the years. By this time we’ve got the skill and expertise we
need to take on much bigger prey and win, and thus secure our honest and
valuable democratic legacy forever, via the EU.
VOTE
LABOUR – It’s the ONLY way to STOP the Bigots, Fascists, Racists, Nazis and
Rubbish Bin Owners for their crimes!
* Just ask
the likes of Jon Venables or Robert Thompson. After all, they’ve done their
time for their measly little crime, therefore automatically
becoming decent ordinary normal empathetic people. COME ON PUBLIC, KINDLY
GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO JOYOUSLY BLEND SEAMLESSLY BACK INTO SOCIETY!!!!!
Surely ANYBODY can be driven to ‘kill’ with the right provocation!
EDITOR’S NOTE:
And now, in an AUTHORISED leak, we present a
well-rounded and carefully debated author’s appendix
to this very article.
Wisely and sagely waffled into the constituency
office’s dictation machine for posterity, Johnathan discusses various complex
aspects of this intrinsically sensitive topic with his official biographer.
FILE UNDER: “Labour
= Purity, Tories = Scum! Conclusion: Only Tories perpetuate police states in
malice.”
_____________________________
THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER? Indeed so under
frighteningly pure and mentally stable Labour!
Thanks to Gordon Brown, plans
are afoot to give EVERY household in Britain FREE INTERNET ACCESS! Oh yes.
We couldn’t defeat terrorism, we didn’t succeed in wiping out knife crime
(which went up by a mere 28% last year, so we’re nearly on top of it now
though!), or poverty or education or any other things the Public find so
important. But WE CAN AND WILL let the Public have a full taste of the wonderful Digital Revolution
we’re foisting on them! Lovely!
Oooh mate, the second
Internet’s going to be faster and lovlier and brighter and shinier, etc, than
the nasty old one. Oh yes mate. However, there shall be a price for this extra
freedom, as usual under us mate. To make the new Internet more streamlined,
faster and fitter, only approved web content shall be permitted for view with
any dissenting voices and commentators censored, punished and ostracised! And
you can’t have that with the current
bloated lumbering Internet now, can you?! Too many points of view clutter
the place, eh?! Taxpayers’ Alliance and all others not subservient to
the Capitalist Establishment/Hard Left superteam indeed! No wonder Hazel
Blears and others in Labour tire of constant internet criticism, what with
everybody except us being fundamentally wrong, etc.
ABSOLUTELY
BLOODY FANTASTIC, IT’S JUST ALL GOOD NEWS! Show us the path to Enlightenment and away from fascism, away
from the clutches of the Public. They want bigotry so shouldn’t wonder why
we’re being more authoritarian with them in reprisal, but no, they fail to
learn.
Good job they’re not the
ones in control really.
Now you know what bossiness
means under Labour. Don’t you?!
“Well
well well well well. The chickens have come home to roost have they not, you
disgusting little Public bigots? People like you who take the concept of Power
To The People literally are discovering the TRUE meaning of Authority! And you
can’t have power without responsibility, something which we in the New Left are
hammering home to you in our usual ever-righteous manner.” – Leftwinger speech
to the harridan reactionary bitches of the WI yesterday (and their nudey
calendars only re-enforce their sexist outlooks!)
That jumped
up little herbert who dared defy our nice Rubbish Stasi (nice ring to
that!), some reactionary
old bag defying council orders not to upset the natural cycle, doctors’
surgeries opening later and sending fewer people to hospital to meet targets,
not to mention the gloriously futuristic Scoutmaster-friendly
sex advice for randy kids initiative, are just some of the latest tidbits
of news which only goes to prove just how much a Labour government can get
things right without the need for the Public to be regarded as equals. And as
they only ever complain about our methods anyway (tch!), best
to keep those vindictive sods in the dark eh, Arf Arf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look
mate, so-called ‘irrational’ and arrogantly officious politicians, with their
jobsworth lackeys, are just the visionaries needed to push through the kind of
legislation which the formally staid, placid, cowardly political elite would
never have had the genius to dream up. The Public want people with
strength, character, ability AND UNCOMPROMISINGLY SINGLE-MINDED LEADERSHIP
QUALITIES to lead them, to rule them and, most importantly, to punish them when
required. But now they’ve got the people needed to carry out
such worthy tasks they lambaste us! SO WE NEED TO KEEP THEM ON A SHORT LEAD,
ILL AND OUT OF POCKET IF NECESSARY, TO KEEP THEM COWED! Otherwise New Labour’s
so-called ‘inevitable’ defeat at the next General Election would be even worse
than forecasters are already predicting!
VOTE LABOUR – You don’t want the Public all loose and unco-ordinated do you? They’ll
only be even more of a political liability than they are now!
ADDITIONAL:
Johnathan’s own mini-literary
masterpieces can be read here
and here,
back in the days when He still dispensed His wisdom for gratis. (These days, of
course, He charges for his words. Waste of a perfectly good genius selflessly
working for the good of Personkind otherwise, which is why this site costs half
a Grand per day to run under the special Leftwinger Sagacious Good Taste
licence.)
Aaah, joyous be the
Muslims….
Don’t you just feel so proud that some of our new
cultural enrichers have the freedom of speech to YET AGAIN demand the Western
world revolve around them alone?!
(And aren’t we saps all so great as to let ourselves
bend in the hurricane…..)
A
new computer game, Little Big Planet, has had its release date delayed because
a Muslim
games player had his delicate feelings annoyed whilst having a turn on his
preview copy. And we all know how soft and tender Muslim feelings are when they
get their backs up.
To
their credit, Sony obviously knew what was best for them and promptly set about
recalling the copies already distributed, as well as having new copies amended.
This could have been very hairy. Could have been Muslim Massacre all
over again (see four articles down)!
The
problem was in the game title’s soundtrack: Two lines from the Koran were put
to music along with the rest of the lyric; something quite taboo, as any devout
so-called intolerant control-obsessed demagogue can freely tell you. That’s how
I know. And despite the fact that the recording was made by a Muslim, and that
Muslims often sing their holy texts anyway, IT’S QUITE
UNACCEPTABLE THAT THE WORDS ‘EVERY SOUL SHALL HAVE A TASTE OF DEATH’ AND ‘ALL
THAT IS ON EARTH SHALL PERISH’ COULD BE FRIVILOUSLY SET TO THE SOUNDTRACK OF A
SILLY VIDEO GAME MATE! Racist, not to mention demeaning
mate! (And the fact that those words aren’t sung in English is quite beside the
point – you don’t want thick kids singing what are supposed to be words known
only to an elite! I mean, after all, Muhammad (pb-bloody-uh, don’t
forget!) himself said that the Koran should only be communicated in Arabic
anyway. Which is only fair and reasonable. For some reason.)
Islam is a
religion of peace. You can’t have nasty-sounding bits like that,
unrepresentative of the Koran as a whole, being allowed on a pop record all out
of context and that! Yes, well, I mean, alright, when stacked up, the book’s nasty-sounding bits
heavily outweigh the pink fluffy bits; I mean bloody hell, you had to shout
a bit and threaten people with death and destruction for not caving into your
whims in those days. People just couldn’t be as easily coerced into doing the
right thing for their own social good back in savages times. After all, we in
New Labour have much the same problems when facing the British Public today, so
we all know how it goes.
Because you can’t have the Muslims offended as that leads to
all sorts of trouble, as their previous experiences of teddy bears,
Scottish airports and army uniforms just
proves! And such strong-arm tactics, reminiscent of the freedom-fighting IRA,
goes to show that some people just can’t be messed with as they’re just too
powerful! (Bit like criminals, come to think of it!) And that’s why even one
single complaint that Western culture isn’t up to Islamic scratch must be acted
upon, purely for the sake of smooth community cohesion and better ethnic
relations obviously. IF ONLY THE SIKHS,
BUDDHISTS, JEWS AND HINDUS
COULD BEHAVE SO SELF-SACRIFICINGLY FOR THEIR IDEOLOGIES!!!!!*
(However,
there’s
always some bastard who spoils things for everybody else; just when we’re
getting comfortable in our zeal to appease every nut out there, just as we have
in Labour! How are we supposed to have a fluid transition from freedom of
expression to total benignity in the face of angry people if alternative
so-called ‘reasonable’ points of view are allowed to win the day? They’ll only
cloud the issue. Best to ignore anything other than the fait-accompli
Red version of the meaning of life. Debate’ll take all day otherwise!)
VOTE LABOUR – We prefer the stick instead of the carrot to keep order and ethos
ourselves, so we have to learn from the masters how to keep both believers and
troublemaking non-Leftist infidels in check! And we’re learning, give us credit
for that mate……!
*Though NOT the supremacist Christian WAC(K)O brigade obviously! Less
heard from those seething cross-kissing, tea-‘n’-crumpets-at-the-vicarage
fundamentalists the better. Particularly when the
fascist BNP stand up for them! Two of a kind, that’s what I say!
JUST LOOK WHAT THE AMERICAN CAPITALIST-FASCISTS
HAVE DRIVEN THE RELIGION OF PEACE TO NOW!!
Printed
in a nice Muslim shade of green, for added understanding of someone else’s
culture.
The poor misunderstood Iranians look set to return
to their sacred Sharia laws of Apostasy
as a reaction to Islamic culture being attacked by Western Christian
supremacism and philosophical egalitarianism. SUCH
ENCROACHMENTS TO ALTERNATIVE
CONCEPTS OF CIVIL LIBERTY JUST SERVE TO HEM THEM IN AND MAKE THEM
INCREASINGLY PARANOID; TO A MURDEROUS DEGREE IT HAS TO BE ADDED.
I mean, bloody hell, the West has a lot to be sorry
for this time, particularly the White people. But still, what’s new? If a
devout Muslim state feels it has to kill its own citizens just to halt a
potential epidemic of Christianity then all I can say is that George Bush has
got even more blood on his hands than even I felt the need to lumber him with!
Listen, the LAST thing any Muslim country needs is
Christian zealots cluttering the place, causing dissent and cultural friction
by waving their tambourines about in their flip-flops, singing Dance Said He
and filling their heads with Biblical mumbo-jumbo. Fox sticking stones in the
water to get to the grapes indeed; such buffoonery only trivialises religion in
a Looney Toons kind of a fashion! Just ASKING to get killed, or at least have traditional sexual
hang-ups challenged! The Christo-Yiddy Boy Alliance have caused CHAOS in
the Palestine and THEY WANT TO DO THE SAME AGAIN! You JUST CAN’T WESTERNISE THE ISLAMIC NATIONS, THEY’RE FAR TOO
PROUD! All we can do, instead of tut-tutting and wanting
their oil (how childish can you get????????!?) is to just sit back and
bend to demands to gradually impose Sharia Law in this country, Europe and
America. It’s the only way to keep
many devout Muslims from wanting a lot of us dead!
And just in case even THAT argument fails to
persuade a sceptical Public (wanting to keep hold of their own culture and
customs in the face of a changing world? So bloody selfish!), let us
look at the MILITARY reasons why we should back off the World Stage and let
Iran breathe:
a) Threats of invasion cause the Iranians to get all sensitive
and resort to emergency anti-subversion techniques.
b) The War On Terror is just a myth. America just wants to
seize the world’s oil for itself. The fact that a resurgence of intense Islamic
terrorism occurred beforehand bears no relevance at all. Some Muslim
governments and terror organisations just anticipated American
aggression against them, that’s all, and merely launched the September 11
attacks as the pre-emptive strike in their battle for diversity and tolerance.
c) No, it was the Jews and the US Government who done it
actually. To demonise Muslims further or something. Too many Muslims to ignore say so, and you can’t doubt them now,
can you?
d) Just as in Iraq, the much vaunted (by we in the Left) ELITE
REPUBLICAN GUARD of Iran will SMASH the decadent invasion forces of America and
(to my SHAME) Britain, so it’s not worth another bloodbath.
e)
Babies will get blasted to
bits, as well as their milk factories, schools and maternity wards. The
Muslims, after all, are VERY soppy and kindly, as the previous wars against
Iraq and Afghanistan proved. Indeed, EVERY bomb that fell from our murderous
airplanes landed on such establishments, just proving their overwhelming
majority over any other type of building! And who are we to criticise?
It’s inherent in Islam to behave so-called ‘irrationally’ in the face of adverse circumstances or people who think differently from you. That’s why it’s all in the Koran. And naturally, we in the Left sympathise oh so much. Because I’ll say this, between you me and the bust of Lenin on my desk, that if we could kill the Public for not being Labour then we wouldn’t have to rig elections and brainwash people into being good Lefties! We’d just walk each and every election! Finger-lickin’ good mate!
VOTE LABOUR – And remove the noose from around the beleaguered
Iranian government’s neck!
=
Oh
yes, smash the poor, eh? YOU WOULDN’T CATCH PEOPLE IN LABOUR ABANDONING
THE NEEDY MATE!
I don’t claim to understand this Credit
Crunch, just as I don’t claim to understand anything which happens in this
crazy old fascist-encrusted world of ours (though I say this not in ignorance
but in modesty, as I’m sure you noticed). But I DO know that the poor will
suffer again, particularly the unemployed and/or unemployable, two distinct
categories of people which we in the Left like to mix together for the sake of
dogma. After all, ARE NOT BOTH SETS OF SOCIO-ECONOMIC UNDERPRIVILEDGED THE
FALL GUYS, er, PERSONS, OF SOCIETY?!?!?!?????! And they say Class doesn’t
matter nowadays, especially me!
We’re going to see a lot of
unemployed-bashing from the tabloids as depression bites harder. Whenever the
papers bash ‘scroungers’ they always do it from a standpoint of attacking the
lazy shirkers, living it up on oodles of benefits, whilst everyone else has to
work 40 hour weeks for far less spending money after bills. BUT WE ALL KNOW, DO
WE NOT MY FELLOW RED WISDOM-MONGERS, THAT IT’S ONLY A COVER TO ATTACK THE REAL
UNEMPLOYED, on the dole queue usually through no fault of their own. Sods.
BUT I AM MUCH WISER, MUCH MORE
LEVEL-HEADED THAN THE SWIVEL-EYED BIGOTED TABLOIDS. I myself like to attack THE
WORKING PERSON as the drain just as much a benefit to the nation, AND HERE”S
FOR WHY:
The Public are ALWAYS whingeing
and whining about things not working properly under New Labour: the economy,
law and order/judiciary, official computer data systems, traffic system, local
authority competence, blah blah blah. That as well as the demonised yobby
layabouts, including the ones they perceive up in Parliament. The Public are so
paranoid that EVERYTHING isn’t working, except for those wankers! Bit too
much of a coincidence to my brain!
BUT IT’S THE ‘ORDINARY’ PUBLIC
THEMESLVES IN THE WRONG! They work far too hard then blame everybody else for
‘ineptitude’ in their exhaustion. I mean, if you’re going to knock your pipe
out 5 or 6 days a week right through the years, then OF COURSE you’re going to
be jealous of somebody else who just happens not to be getting as much of a
sweat up as you at any particular time! Such behaviour is absolutely
disgusting.
IF, AS ANY
GOOD DOCTOR WOULD SAY (I EXPECT), THE PUBLIC DECIDED TO RELAX A BIT MORE AND
ENSURE THEIR LIVES ARE A LOT LESS STRESSFUL THEN AT LONG LAST SHALL THEIR
MENTAL EQUILIBRIUM HAVE ITS BALANCE RESTORED!
Then we might respect them for thinking a bit more rationally. (Indeed, having
13 kids and refusing to find work ENTITLES some people to free houses, 32-inch
tellies and an X Box, does it not? And anyway, I thought the button-down
conservative (WITH A SMALL NAZI ‘N”!!!!!!!!) Public liked stay-at-home
parents! (Just ‘cos they don’t get as much sex and sleep as the ‘layabouts’
they’re just frustrated and hung-up, that’s all it is!))
YOU DON’T
CATCH THE LAYABOUTS DYING OF STRESS AND HEART ATTACKS LIKE THE ‘SLAVES TO THE
MACHINE’ NORMAL PEOPLE! It really makes
you wonder who are the REAL suckers in the long run doesn’t it?!
I’m saying this for everyone’s own
good, even the Public. After all, if I didn’t require the votes of people like
that to remain in office then I would have let them die off in the throes of
their rage and bigotry many years ago. But I’ve just got too much of a mature
social conscience to allow that!
VOTE LABOUR – You’ve just got to understand people who don’t think like you
do, then you’ll realise how hard it is to ‘bash the greedy’! Such prejudice
CAN’T BE TOLERATED under us mate!
REVEL IN THE
ESCAPIST MAGIC OF NEO-MODERNIST POLITICAL THEATRE!
JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER’S
CONFERENCE SUMMARY, live from the hotel he watched it on BBC 2 from.
I’ve just enjoyed another top-quality Labour Party
Conference in which both audience and performers acted in a manner which
reflects my own personal mannerisms; I TOLD YOU I WAS IN TOUCH, EH? AND HERE
WAS THE EVIDENCE IN ITS FULL BLOATED GREATNESS!
‘Delusions’ (read Realisations) of grandeur and
acting as if all that needs to be done for Labour to remain invinsible is for
all of us true Reds to back Gordon Brown to the hilt… just what more can you
ask for in sensible and responsible policies?! The delegates thought this was
all above board and logical….. WILL YOU, TOO, CONFORM BY BELIEVEING IN THE
MAJESTIC FORCES OF HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY LABOUR??! We’ve done more than
enough, as we’ve forced you to agree, albeit with gritted teeth as I laughed.
John Prescott himself doesn’t care about the opinion
polls, he just reckons that 100% loyalty to the PM is enough for the nation to
be steered back on the path to glory (in other words for New Labour to be re-elected).
That and a lot of neatly spun bombast about our total and complete success in
everything we do just gives added weight to the ballast of the solid weight of
the New Labour Movement!
However, the Public (egged on by the INKY FASCISTS of
the media) will doubtless think this is a load of old cobblers, but they’re
just frustrated in their jealousy that we’re always right and they’re always
wrong. That’s why we’re at odds with each other all the time. BUT WHO’S GOT
THE POWER, EH? AND WHO CAN FLAUNT IT LIVE ON COLOUR TV? Well, shut up then.
But I bet we’ll be voted out in spite though. Mind
you, that’d be proof that we’ve won all the arguments because the Public were
never good losers and they take out their vengeance on the government. They
just don’t like strong people who carry themselves gracefully as it reminds
them of their own inadequacies.
VOTE LABOUR – Though I don’t know why we bother. Would YOU like be hated
despite making all the right moves?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
VIDEO FASCISM
must not be allowed to flourish!
(Who’d have thought that sex, violence, swearing
and other normal immoralities in video games could lead to proper
degeneracy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?)
Reaction to
this new computer game by my Islamic chums was rather heated: http://www.muslimmassacre.com.
The
British Ramadan group reacted angrily to this Nintendo-style daft cartoon
game, as
does the entire Arab world. Great uproar mate! They reckon it’ll help
brainwash people and it’ll perhaps even kickstart the ethnic war which racists
say is coming. It’s very important
to rail against any game likely to kick off real-life religious genocide, be it
a realistic likelihood or merely perceived by anybody with the paranoid vision
to see it in every pixellated lump.
FIRST A CARTOON, THEN A TEDDY, NOW THIS! IT’S ENOUGH TO MAKE A SANE
RANTER EXPLODE IN AN ORGY OF RECKLESSNESS AGAIN!
Alright
chaps, my jimjam-clad carpet-kissing pals, you’ve rightly gone so far in
condemning video games advocating the killing of religious people, for which
you win my Johnathan Leftwinger Whingeing For Your Rights (rolled) gold
medal. Any condemnation of this
other title, which genuinely is used for brainwashing and
psuedo-training, on the cards from any of you out there?
You’ll be given until the
end of time to think about it. Weighty issue indeed. Can’t rush the Muslims,
obviously, and I’ll fully understand if you’re too busy to do justice to that
one too!*
VOTE LABOUR and understand!
_________________________________________________________________________
*NEWS JUST IN: We’re still waiting readers, after a few days scouring the ‘net now, so
don’t go away! Plenty of time yet!
And you over-critical oafs
wonder why we place active political oppression above the REAL problems of the
day…………….
Well, yet ANOTHER member of
the far-Right Public has let the side down yet yet yet again! That woman in
Manchester who escaped punishment (on the technicality of ‘innocence’) for her overt
racial provocation just proves why the Public just can’t be trusted to be
benign!
Usually we in the neo-Red Brigade slam stories about
people being arrested for owning golliwog dolls as total hogwash, which only
proves how the Public lie when they criticise Labour and Political Correctness.
However this time I myself am prepared to stand up and say, without a stain to
my character, that MORE MUST BE DONE TO VANQUISH THESE EVIL SUBVERSIVE
REACTIONARY CRIMINALS! NEVER MIND TOUGH ON CRIME
AND TOUGH ON THE CAUSES OF CRIME, THIS TAKES A FAR HIGHER PRIORITY AS ETHNIC
MINORITIES MAY, NAY WILL BE OFFENDED! BLOODY HELL, OH MY GOD
MATE, CHILDREN ARE RACE HATERS, SHOPKEEPERS
AND MUSEUM CURATORS ARE RACE HATERS AND THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW IT! So it’s
time to use this story as an example to BAN, BULLY AND IMPRISON IN THE NAME OF TOLERANCE, ENLIGHTENMENT AND
DIVERSITY OF OUR INTERCHANGEABLE NATIONAL CULTURE(S)!!
And DON’T THINK THE POLICE AND EVERYBODY ELSE EXCEPT
US IN GENERAL ARE ALSO IMMUNE TO MY WRATH: JUST WHAT THE
HELL DO THE BUNGLERS IN MANCHESTER POLICE THINK THEY’RE PLAYING AT, EH? AS TOP
QUALITY PURVEYORS OF PC VICTIM-BASHING
REPRESSION, ‘POSITIVE’
DISCRIMINATION, MINDBENDING
AND OVER-REACTIVE
STUPIDITY IN GENERAL, THEY
COULD AT LEAST HAVE HELD HER IN THE BLOODY CELLS TO LET HER SIT AND CONSIDER
HER EVIL XENOPHOBIA FROM WHERE SHE BELONGS!!! Still, at least our brave law
enforcement jobsworths have the bitch’s DNA on file for no reason.
I’m not an unreasonable man as you know; I don’t mind them failing over
so-called REAL crime (as we in Labour do so every day, so I know how it
goes), but gross negligence on THIS scale?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? The Police
just don’t try any more!
I mean, alright, our trendy Establishment’s priority
of getting Nick Griffin locked up for saying stuff rather
than looking into REAL extremism too deeply is part of the so-called
‘problem’ of good and bad being inverted to suit our amorality, with victims
being maligned and criminals being tended to. BUT WE CAN’T ADMIT WE’RE WRONG
now, can we? That’ll only undo all the good work done since the start of the Frankfurt
School of Political Correctness! And we can’t have the basis of modern
freedom, democracy and moral values wrecked can we? The Public and their foul
helpmates’ll only win the game of life, and we all know how dangerous a
Public-run society will be, as this article proves!!!!
So all we can say to prove
our wisdom and wide intellectual range is STOP THE
RACISTS! STOP THE FASCISTS! They infest the Public, as BNP poll success
just proves! And if we say so, it must be true. OR DO YOU WANT TO BE SEEN AS
IN-LEAGUE WITH THE EVIL ONES, INCLUDING CLOSET TORIES AND DAILY EXPRESS
JOURNALISTS???????!!!!!! Yea, you think on it mate!
VOTE LABOUR – It’s a Hate Crime not to!
>
------------- LABOUR PARTY
COMPUTER (I.P. Address: 38 Oxteby Gardens, Luton)
SAYS: He loves the BNP,
he’s always on about them, so let’s give him the BNP to make him happy! Their link 2 article just to annoy him. (Racists on
THIS site! Now you’re affiliated! J) -------------
>_
Bloody hell, where did THAT come from! Delete, delete, Undo undo! MORE
party infighting?! Just because I refused to buy him that extra RAM! Sometimes
even I think this squabbling goes too far; now I’ll have to go to all the
effort of getting revenge, like refusing to ask him what to think and say this
week! (Such childishness can’t go on, especially when I’m the victim sometimes!
I’m only supposed to dish it out, like other people in Labour!)
And
I thought I was the only one needing protection from the Public-inhabited
world!
The Them-And-Us divide between the
New Labour psycho-social bubble and the plebeians is now of chasmic
proportions! So much so that we risk descending into violent anarchy with the most disadvantaged of all in our
society bearing the brutal brunt of Public bloodlust!
Never a day goes by when the alienated Public
seek to fall out with New Labour on how their lives are run. No wonder we have
to snoop
on the swines and punish them accordingly for all manner of synthetic crimes
when they show equal contempt for us mate! Vote us out at almost every election
now, which just proves their stupidity, their ignorance, arrogance and hubris.
(Well, somebody had to tell you!)
DON’T THEY REALISE THAT THEIR NEGATIVITY,
RACISM AND PSYCHOPATHIC LITTLE-ENGLANDER SUPREMACIST ATTITUDES ARE HAVING A
TOXIC EFFECT ON THEIR RULERS? We’re reduced to telling
them just how wrong they are every five minutes by challenging their
perceptions of 21st Century Britain instead of being allowed to
actually run the place properly. Such a distraction just HAS to sidetrack effective Red-splattered government
and control! Falling to pieces we are under the stress and I bet the Public
have zero sympathy!
Now I admit that we in New Labour have
retained some of the working parts of the Thatcherite legacy, something which countless Lefties grit
their teeth at; to which I say WE ONLY DID WHAT WE DID
TO GET ELECTED! THE OLD TROTSKYITE STUFF IS PURE AND GOOD, I GRANT YOU, BUT THE
FAR-RIGHT, MONEY’S-THEIR-GOD REACTIONARY PUBLIC WANTED NONE OF IT! But still, at least we remain ETHICALLY ‘far’ Left; we can still, like
these guys, be obsessively
fixated with fascists and racists
under the bed at the expense of worrying about high crime and disorder rates,
proper morality, national sovereignty, etc. (You just can’t beat Communists and
jail inmate rewarders to get the job done properly!!)
Vote LABOUR!
And help put the Public behind us
as we power on to ANOTHER five years of near-perfection with big old Jock
McIntouch! (not that
those pigs notice of course…..)
OH MY
GOD!!! Some of the more proactive Muslims
learn to assert themselves and perpetuate their culture in a frighteningly
subversive manner (as we ‘right-on’ Labour Reds ourselves did as young people)…
AND
REACTIONARY TELEVISION CHANNELS PAINT THAT AS HATRED! Indeed, the very same
Channel Four production team also made that film about the BNP in exactly the
same manner! I FAIL TO SEE HOW ISLAMIC EXTREMISM IS AS DANGEROUS AS BNP
EXTREMISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (So therefore it isn’t. Simple!)
I used to love Channel Four,
especially in the early days when it had lots of porn and more pro-gay
propaganda thrust in the viewers’ faces. It was decent back then. But
these days it
seeks to perpetuate myths about Muslims, even though the Channel Four
footage is all genuine, just to stir up dissent. It’s got nothing to do with exposing hotbeds of tension, oh no.
(Except with the BNP, obviously, as they’re WHITE nutcases, so therefore
automatically 100x more toxic! Think about
it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
VOTE LABOUR – And
don’t mention the Muslims! We’ve already smeared people who think that
Islam sometimes has something to do with terrorism and extremism, which just
goes to prove how right we are! Let us all ignore the evidence in our utopian
dream of tolerance and understanding of almost anybody who steps outside the
cosy button-down middle-class world of values and civility!
WELL, I’M BACK!
(And you’d better have noticed my absence too,
Public!)
You probably wondered where I have been since the GLA
elections. You may have thought I was nobly touring the remaining Labour areas
in our capital, galvanising the demoralised activists. Well I was, well via email;
we believe in the power of IT to solve all our problems (as the doctors
in the NHS using our ‘faulty’ and ‘poorly designed’ new multi-million Pound
databases can confirm!).
No, I rather understandably, with a total lack of melodrama which a New Labour
hallmark, took to my bed for a month. To see the BNP gain even one seat on the
GLA, even with our vote rigging taken into account, can depress the strongest
of persons. Then came the party beating us in the Henley by-election! I could
have taken a two-month lie-in instead of one, but I’m not that selfish. So
being a reasonable man I am now recovered and back on my feet already, itching
to inspire you all by ordering you to VOTE LABOUR! It’s the answer to all our problems, that and Love!
BIG BOB IS
BACK TOO!
The good news has just come over the constituency office’s Red-Fax
teleprinter (Teletext) and woken me up a treat – ROBERT MUGABE HAS ONCE AGAIN
WON ZIMBABWE’S PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION! He was the only candidate, which surely
proves his popularity! After all, he did win by a landslide.
So now it’s time for the people of Zimbabwe to get fully behind their
re-newed leader and stop whingeing about poverty and human rights abuses and
the leader of the opposition party dropping out of the election race in fear of
his life. After all,
there are loftier concerns for the Breadbasket of Africa – such as standing
alongside South Africa to berate the white First World for being so horrible to
them!
We in the Left can understand where they’re coming from, taking on
issues of humanity with such steel - so much so we subsidise
their ‘dictatorships’ handsomely for their righteousness, both with money
and unswerving
political loyalty!
SO LET US ALL STAND TOGETHER IN LEFTIST UNITY AGAINST BIGOTRY, POVERTY
AND IMPERIALISM, ALL IN THE NAME OF RAINBOW
TOLERANCE AND DIVERSITY! Think of the big things and forget about the
inflation, looming strikes, high crime, pourous borders, European federal
‘bastard’-state, bad poll ratings, lost computer data, etc… God, it’s all so
trivial!
VOTE LABOUR! My God, I’m back on sparkling form!
WHAT WITH THE BNP ON THE
RISE, WE IN THE LEFT SHOULD COUNTER THEIR HATRED BY DECLARING THAT
IT’S ACTUALLY GOOD TO BE
RACIST, THOUGH ONLY WHEN WE’RE THE ONES DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!
What
an arresting headline isn’t it, my fellow Left Wingers?! After all, we do know
that the best way to neutralise negative discrimination is to battle it with positive
discrimination, just so that we can have it evens again. Stands to reason.
However, knowing your noble and
rational firebrand temperaments out there on the ‘shouty’ fringes, I think I
should declare here and now that I’m NOT turning into a bigoted old ranter who only
ever sees his point of view and is unable to empathise with anyone else. (From
somebody in Labour? PERISH THE THOUGHT!!!). No, I’m talking about perfectly
legitimate discrimination against white people. After all, they were the sole
protagonists of slavery and empire (even if so-called ‘evidence’
muddies the water here) so they need to be dispossessed for being the cause of
our ‘mentalist’ guilt trips. Only way to
cleanse us, you have to admit mate! And all in the name of
Equality!
Because there is such a thing as a ‘good racist’ mate, I’ve known it for years. However, we can’t really be all that overt about it because that would put us on a par with people out of the National Front who discriminate against blacks! So what we’ve got to do is discriminate against whites on the premise of retaliation against something they’ve done already. That way we can ban white doctors from climbing the ladder on grounds of there being too many of them as it is due to some kind of ‘hogging’ of vacancies. IT’S SO SIMPLE WHEN POINTED OUT, EH PUBLIC??!
According to Home Office figures
whites expect to be victims of race crime nearly 2% of the time when in fact
they’re victims 62% of the time. However, blacks expect to be victims 24% of
the time when in fact they’re victims 6%. But Asians expect to be victims 24%
of the time - and they’re victims 24% of
the time. ETHNIC MINORITIES ARE
VICTIMS OF RACE CRIMES, AND THEY EXPECT IT TOO IN RACIST OLD BRITAIN!!!
Of
course, to counter this ingrained white Nazism
with a small n, we MUST have political
anti-racism. It’s CRIMINAL that the elections aren’t flooded with ethnic
minority candidates because it would appear that a distinct lack of them can
UNSETTLE and DESTABLISE ethnic communities! How very LABOUR to realise that,
particularly when nobody else does! Proves our wisdom mate! (Though some Labour
people, like fellow ethic Khalid Mahmoud, still cling to the outdated rhetoric
of equality of opportunity rather than outcome! Lenin must be spinning in his
glass cage mate!).
And we can fight the forces of white repression internationally as well. BARRACKS OBAMA, the next US President you’ll see, had his eyes opened to how whites are to blame for everything many years ago. Read a few comments from his encyclopaedic and neutral books to be enlightened:
From Dreams of My Father: “I ceased to advertise my mother’s race at
the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was
ingratiating myself to whites.”
From Dreams of My Father: “I found a solace in nursing a pervasive
sense of grievance and animosity against my mother’s race.”
From Dreams of My Father: “There was something about him that made me
wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white.”
From Dreams of My Father: “It remained necessary to prove which side
you were on, to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name
names.”
From Dreams of My Father: “I never emulate white men and brown men
whose fates didn’t speak to my own. It was into my father’s image, the black
man, son of Africa, that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself, the
attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.”
From Audacity of Hope: “I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an
ugly direction.”
Don’t such words fill you with HOPE
NOT HATE mate?! Far removed from the BNP of course, who claim to
stick up for whites but who actually wish to see a genocidal mass murder of
all the Muslims in the world. BLACK POWER!
And,
of course, Africans can also be enlisted to impartially punish the Honkies for
their crimes, as in South
Africa and Zimbabwe.
I shed tears for you, my avenging
angels of goodness!
VOTE LABOUR! Whoever you are, wherever you are, you can join with
us in a special unity of disdain for the very people we came from! OUR VERY
SANITY IS AT RISK if we do not join together under a multi-coloured rainbow of
umbrellariness in the name of Ulterior Motive!
BONUS ADDITIONAL EXTRA: As well as for purposes of ‘equality’, another good reason for Lefty-fearing media to ignore black-on-white crime is because the only people to point it out in the end will be EXTREMISTS! Thus ‘normal people’ concerned about what we’re not shall have the rugs pulled from their evil reactionary feet mate! AS USUAL NOW, AMERICA SHOWS US THE WAY!!
STOP PRESS:
CLAMP DOWN ON FASCISTS AND BIGOTS BY VOTING
FOR TOLERANCE AND PERSUASION! VOTE LABOUR!
TEACH YOUR CHILREN why Lefties throw their lot in with the Muslims so
enthusiastically…..
..Makes
you weep with pride and hyperactive fervour, it really does mate!
The
upcoming London Mayoral Election (or LONDON
BIG CHEESE SPEED RACE ’08 as it should be called under spintastic New
Labour) is the most exciting yet, one reason being that the BNP is stealing the
Public away from us under our own wise noses! God, are we that bad that even those EVIL NAZIS can threaten us?! (No, actually. It’s because the Public are stupid and so therefore entirely to
blame.)
Every social and religious group should have a slice
of
Quite
rationally, of course, the MPAC has a moral right to retaliate in kind against
Jews and the BNP. After all, what’s sauce for the goose…. (and BOY are the
Muslims good at it! Told you they had skills, didn’t I, Public?!).
Some people
have cruelly pointed out (for which they received punishment) that it’s all a
case of extremists battling each other, each bullying in the name of their
rights solely. BUT THAT’S WHAT MAKES RED ALLIANCES WITH THESE PEOPLE SO
BEAUTIFUL (except for the BNP, who are extremists of a kind we abhor, being
‘patriotic’ and everything)!! It’s POWER
BY NUMBERS MATE, and besides,
the Muslim community contains a sizeable hostile element which can do us a
mischief, an element you must NEVER talk about incidentally, for Race Relations
purposes.
WE’RE
KINDRED SPIRITS, we in the Left and the pushy Muslim groups mate. Think about the common bonds which bind us – BOTH of us feel maligned and
marginalised amongst a population of conservative-minded white bigots, BOTH of us have creeds of perpetual
outrage with a happy face of peace tacked on the front, and BOTH of us are always whingeing and
whining that the world has screwed us over (regardless of whose fault it actually
is). And
so, in the light of our paranoia in the face of alien moral values, an alliance
against normal people had to come in the end you know!
IT’S ALL IN
THE VALIANT, SELFLESS NAME OF HAVING OUR OWN WAY ALL THE TIME! What could be more natural?! AFTER ALL,
IF WE DON’T SUCCEED IN HAVING OUR MUTUAL INFLATED EGOS AND ‘NARCISSISTIC
PERSECUTION COMPLEXES’ SOOTHED THIS TIME WE’LL JUST BE BLEEDING WELL FIT TO
BURST!!! – Yes, THAT MUCH hinges on our success!
VOTE LABOUR – It’s the true spirit of British Tolerance! (And so if you
disagree with all this neutral bombast then you’re both RACIST and REDDIST for crossing that final
taboo!!!! Chew on THAT bone!!!
It took the Germans
(particularly the brave Communist ones) to show us the way mate!
All
we want to do is monitor people so we can more easily punish them for bad
behaviour! You’d
think people would be grateful! At least you know who the REAL criminals
are under New Labour!!!!
We
in the Left TOLD you that the Yanks are yobbish barbarians!
(No wonder so many feel driven to committing acts
of extreme violence and destruction in defence of
their peaceful yet slandered doctrines!)
THOSE DUTCH ‘NAZIS’ ARE AT IT AGAIN MATE! Not content
with REPEATEDLY rejecting treaties guaranteeing an integrated federal
Many Muslims seem to
have anger management troubles, yet they very bravely and very proudly reject
with disdain our invitations to attend the JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER SO-CALLED
‘ANTI-SOCIAL ELEMENT’ EMPATHY MEETING at the Town Hall. (Oh no, they don’t like
to be patronised, unlike everybody else who just sit there and take it). Which
is why the new film by politician Geert Wilders is bound to cause so much
trouble.
FITNA, viewable from
here, accuses the Koran of being a fascist
book, the kind which could have
been written by Hitler. SUCH
SLANDER IS UNACCEPTABLE, even if so-called ‘evidence’
smears the line between truth and Leftist dogma to an intolerable degree. No
wonder the Muslims can’t take any more and riot
all the time nowadays, not to mention advocate
murder sprees!
BUT AT LEAST SUCH BARBARIC ‘ETERNAL JEW’-STYLE FILMS
COULDN’T BE PRODUCED AND STIR UP TENSION OVER HERE! Oh yes, under New
Labour the people of Britain have been tamed and repressed into being tolerant,
decent and rational people. (Well, as far as possible with those brutes
anyway). It’s nice, in contrast, for Britain to have a reputation around the
world for being needlessly virtuous and generous to everybody else in the
world, regardless of how much they take the so-called ‘piss’! So when it comes
to showing tolerance and respect to Muslims, we have even considered
extending the hand of subservience to even so-called TERRORIST or CRIMINAL ones!
WE IN LABOUR HAVE THE PIOUS GOODNESS INHERENT IN OUR RED
D.N.A. TO WANT TO LOOK AFTER EVERYBODY IN THE NATION, NOT JUST THE DECENT,
HARDWORKING AND HONEST ONES! We believe in TRUE Equality!!! (I mean, alright,
there are quite a few homeless soldiers lying around after their brave jaunts
around the world fighting evil, but we’ve got our hands full looking after the
Muslims! They can do us a mischief if we don’t take full care of them after
all!)
(I wanted to be a
Muslim you know, oh yes. I could have done lots of preaching and shouting, as
well as be allowed to wear my nightdress outside and be legally allowed to
punish people if they laughed. However, my local cleric said I had to spend
years learning the scriptures and be wholly subservient to all the Islamic
customs. That, however, put me off as years of scrupulous research into a
culture coupled with total obedience is something which somebody from Labour
could never stomach. But still, you’ve got to admire the industry and
dedication of Muslims, be they terrorist or no.)
VOTE LABOUR –
Because as long as we live in a Multi-Cultural society of diversity and free
speech, NOBODY shall be allowed to watch ANY critical film which lambasts or
distorts ANY religion at all. (Except Christianity).
VIDEO
RECORDER: To keep FITNA (pts. 1 and 2), or other ‘Islamonazi’ pulp fiction (such as this, this or this
and this), run You Tube
Downloader. Thus
one can rationally archive all the disgusting slander about Islam, purely for
ranting/research purposes, after various threats from adherents of the Religion
of Peace (and noisy Red Power agitators) have led to such videos being pulled
from their host sites. After all, only decent
people should ever get all the facts, likely as they are to being
mis-interpreted in many unhelpful ways by the Public and other political
opponents. (Then guiltily watch ‘em in a darkened room, via the FLV player or other utilities.)
_____________________________________________
Scum watch!
Scum!
Cracking wit mate!
Let’s take a peek inside today’s best selling
‘politically perverted’ and ‘racist’ daily. (No more an unbiased luminary as
Ben Elton said that! They always
supported Thatcher, they seriously want to fight Islamic terrorism, they have a
boobies fetish and we’re still mock-fuming at their Hillsborough coverage (even
though they apologised), which just proves it!)
On the front page we see the paper fall at the first
hurdle by launching into the usual jingoistic
twaddle. Oh yes, just because people are starting to wake up to the fact
that because somebody’s in uniform it doesn’t mean that they deserve respect, we have to
face the usual shame of the Media demanding that people recognise the ‘heroism’
of our fighting forces! MAKING THEM INTERPRET THE MASSACRE OF THE WORLD’S
MUSLIMS AS SOLDIERY MORE LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the students know
better than even Gordon Brown, not to mention the downtrodden
Leftist bloggers of
Then we move on to BASH THE IMMIGRANTS TIME as there
are whines aplenty that £26 Million
a year of taxpayers’ money gets channelled to Poland in benefits. Nothing
wrong with that, especially as the European Union allows that kind of thing.
The Poles earn it for their children just by being here and they can spend it
as they please – AND IF THE LAZY SCUM-SUCKING SCUM READERSHIP WORKED AS HARD
(AND AS UNSELFISHLY FOR THE WAGES PROVIDED) AS THE POLES THEN THEY COULD
HAVE HAD ALL THAT MONEY! Bloody anti-white white racists!!!!
AND LET’S NOT FORGET THE MUSLIMS! OH, THE MUSLIMS, WHAT HAVE ANY OF THEM DONE
TO DESERVE OUR RACISM??!!??!! And it’s on that note that news of the
imprisonment of a mis-understood freedom fighter was met with the usual
swivel-eyed wrath from the readers. OOO, LOCK HIM UP AND KILL HIM, eh, eh? You
dirty psychos, just as bad as he is! You also misrepresent Islam, just as these
revisionist softies do! (Er no, I didn’t mean that, it’s just that I don’t
want to offend anybody, even so-called ‘naughty’ people! VOTE LABOUR!)
(Oh yes, the Sun, in its anti-Islamic bigotry,
gleefully splashed the story of
Jewish schoolchildren being killed, didn’t they! They had to distort a
mother’s pride at her son fighting for justice! OH YES, GLOSSY PHOTOS OF THE
BLOOD AND THE ‘VICTIMS’ IS HARDLY GOING TO COOL THE FLAMES OF TENSION IN NOT
JUST ILLEGALLY-OCCUPIED YIDDY LAND OR PALESTINE, BUT ALSO IN PLACES LIKE MY
VERY OWN CONSTITUENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Particularly when their one-sided
reporting FAILS to show equal outrage at the fellow gun nut who murdered the Palestinian,
not to mention the ABSENCE of a complete obsession with Israeli crimes against
Palestinians! Just ask the likes of
George Galloway for all the Left Wing facts because the Sun won’t give ‘em to
you!!!!)
And now it’s time for light relief by reading the
columnists. LIGHT RELIEF? WITH NOT A RED SYMPATHY IN SIGHT??!! Ha! But still, let’s Wade on through the
quagmire…. Pollutant-fascist Jeremy Clarkson has the usual
rant against New Labour transport policy (hmm, brain cells killed off by
his own fumes!!!!!), not to mention a warped dig at good old ‘Red’ Ken and
Friends Of The Earth. No shame, that’s
some people! Anyway, he asked how F.O.E. could make such a fuss over
American Airlines flying airliners with only five passengers, yet stay silent
when Mayor Livingstone proposes somebody driving an empty
I can’t take any more racism and sexism and things! I
have to leave immediately! But I will end with a bit of light-hearted satire by
saying what a pity it wasn’t Mrs.
Thatcher who died instead of Carol Barnes!!!
Oh yes, old Carol kept us abreast of reporting Thatcher’s crimes direct from
the front line of the ITN studios! Things were much better when she was in
charge; since she left, ITN went right downhill by reporting all sorts of
things about New Labour! Rest In Peace old girl, as we mourn the passing of
decency as well. I can only be so balanced in that appraisal, the evidence
speaks for itself!
(And did you notice that Thatcher now looks like Mao
Tse Tung? HOW CAN SOMEBODY SO CRIMINAL, WITH BLOOD ON THEIR HANDS AND
EVERYTHING, RESEMBLE SOMEBODY SO PURE AND GUIDING AS THE GOOD OL’
CHAIRMAN?????!! Oh well, Loony-Tune Britain strikes again!)
VOTE
LABOUR – We’ve
got our moral compass calibrated just right!
ANGELS
WITH DIRTY FACES JUST NEED LUUUUURVE!!!!!!
‘Feral’ youths are a so-called
‘problem’ in
It’s lucky that people such as ourselves are usually insulated from all the violence and the mayhem people like you like to claim rule. It means we can look at the issues, all nice and cut off, without getting all emotional and feeling as if we need to sop to the ‘disenfranchised’ victims - who just want brutal psychotic revenge anyway!!!!!!!! (Either that or cry in the corner like spoiled babies!!!!). WE’VE GOT SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY!
Tut tut tut. Dear dear me mate. Public bitterness gets whipped up by stories like this. Oooo, ‘feral youths’! ‘Running riot’, people like you say. ‘Lawless thugs’, ‘powerless police’, ‘streets a warzone’, ‘victims get punished for fighting back’, ‘even the Wild West let you defend yourself”. Pathetic!
The Public just have to get used
to the idea that their farcical ‘policy’ on crime has FAILED!!!! All they want
to do is lock up criminals for a nice long time, particularly those biased
swines living in ‘crime-ridden’ areas! They should much rather take a nice
softly-softly approach of shortening prison sentences and downgrading various crimes!
Drug taking and assault aren’t all that bad (particularly when they happen to
you. That’s just poetic justice isn’t it mate, what with you receiving the ill
luck you want to foist on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)! And I mean, the rise in crime can be blamed on good solid Red politicians talking tough to appeal to the
Media, then not following through! Tensions rise as bigoted expectations that
criminals be murdered by the State are dashed by people who are sensible. People
like me. That can only lead to the Public flailing their psychotic
tendencies wildly, wanting to hang and flog the very people who felt alienated
in the first place, and never you mind the fact that our always refusing to
build more jails has so-called added to the so-called problems! THAT’S why Lefties have failed to provide
the crime-free society we always promised, and I’m disgusted with the whole lot
of you!!
OF COURSE YOUNG HOODLUMS ARE THE REAL DISENFRANCHISED COMMUNITY!! THEY
HAVE NOWHERE TO GO, NOTHING TO DO AND NO PROSPECTS IN LIFE! AND HERDED INTO
CRIME BY THE UNCARING TORY-MINDED SQUARES, OF
COURSE THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE THEIR OWN ENTERTAINMENT, 21st
CENTURY STYLE!
I’m not saying it’s right, obviously, but I’m just trying to make people understand that yobs are people too – with as much entitlement to Human Rights as you (NO, MORE ACTUALLY – THEY JUST NEED TO BE NURTURED THROUGH THEIR NEW LIVES OF DOCILITY AND RESPECT FOR NORMAL PEOPLE! They just need a second chance, with several other second chances as backups due to their difficulty to be nice!)
VOTE
LABOUR – Malevolence is a SOCIAL DISEASE TO BE CURED, not PUNISHED, DEVIL’S ISLAND-STYLE! And as
usual it’s YOU to blame!!!!!!!
SUPERCILIOUSNESS IS THE PRESERVE OF
SOLID REDDINESS MATE!!
You can’t beat people of our
colour you know, not when it comes to the re-interpretation of morality and
social ethics! Just take a look at how this Left Wing ‘power’ couple have
usurped the sexist
institution of marriage to bolster
their own egotistical political outlook.
Yes mate, it’s all there –
smugness, self-righteousness, hostility to alternative political flavours and
insulting the very political party which can reflect them the best, simply for
not being ‘trendy’ enough for their own stuck-up tastes.
VOTE LABOUR – Because we’re packed with this kind of couple you know. Oh
yes, we’ve got the determination to shape
YET ANOTHER reason for the population to
drink to its freedom under Labour, as special dispensation allows Johnathan out
of jail to cast his Vote of the Century……
AT
LAST THE MAJOR STUMBLING BLOCK TO EFFECTIVE DEMOCRACY HAS BEEN REMOVED!
‘No Say’ for those who
have SHAMELESSLY HINDERED the effective reforms of the nation in the names of
Harmony, Equality and ‘Political Correctness’!
For once in my life I am PROUD to be
British! We in Labour
led the vote in Parliament to deny the Public a referendum on the European
Constitution! This means that we can carry on our task of doing what’s best for
the nation without interference from people who don’t know what they’re talking
about. After all, when we have gone through due-process and unbiased debate to
come up with the inevitable conclusion that the final Treaty to subordinate us
to the EU forever MUST be signed, we don’t want ignorant people going “Oooo, we
want to rule ourselves, French Revolution style, like what we had before; OUR
OWN MONEY AND NO BLACK PEOPLE”! We don’t
need to shackle ourselves to the judgements of folk like these, surely??!!
Despite the boring claim that we in New
Labour promised a referendum on this whole abolition of British sovereignty
issue, it still has to be said that at the end of the day the choice was a very
clear-cut one between the purity of an MP’s right to self-determination and the
right of Britain to still enjoy the rich
buffet of benefits the European Union provides! WE FOLLOWED OUR CONSCIENCES AND MADE OUR CHOICES! Mother of
all Parliaments, that’s what we’ve got mate!
Britain is old and slow and outdated. It has a PROVEN
track record of racism, bigotry, white jingoism and supremacy inherent in
the culture. We NO LONGER play any significant part in geopolitics on our own.
We rely on everybody else in the world now for our industry, consumer goods,
economy drive and workforce. So it’s a bloody good job that we can now retire
our worn-out shabby exhausted old nation (with its backwards-looking,
Little-Englander English) to the granny-annexe kindly provided by the EU! LET’S FACE IT, IT’S TIME OUR ISLAND STORY
FINALLY ENDED, AND ON WHAT BETTER HIGH THAN BEING INTEGRATED INTO AN
ALL-POWERFUL LEFTIST POLITICAL SUPERBLOC, COMPLETE WITH FRESHLY-MANUFACTURED
MONEY, CULTURAL IDENTITY AND VALUE SYSTEM?!
Oh yes, people like me are HEROES ALL, ready to bask in the acclaim of
other people in Europe who are very wise and fair. They’re easier to please
than the Public, plus they have excellent moral codes! Indeed, we’re so good
and just that the ‘death camp’ BNP slander us as traitors! Says
all you need!
Some people may moan, which is just the collateral damage we in
Parliament have to suffer when we make the inevitable sacrifice of being
‘representative’ of the Bigots, but it can’t be denied that the Vote was a
popular one. WE LIKED IT, which just proves it! But take heart all you pro-Eurofedaralists wanting your way without
arguments from ignorant louts - one Anne Oswald wrote to the Daily Mail saying “Some of us more sensible and well balanced
forward looking people are quite happy with the result thank you”. Just
when I thought the Public were a lost cause, some flickers of arrogance and
obstinate faith in control-freak causes can still remain! Perhaps we can BOTH
have our way AND win over the oiks! The game’s not quite over yet in game of
Public Relations!
For
God’s sake, it’s ONLY AN AMENDMENT TREATY! No need for fuss just over something
that amends our sovereignty from one place to another! You’ve just got to know
the meaning of words, Public, for all to be well!
(And as for those GENUINE PUTRID TRAITORS who abstained, thereby wanting
to see
So LET US ALL GO FORWARD TOGETHER, refreshing
VOTE LABOUR – We take the poison out of politics!
COM-PACTS: A new section based on the views of ex-Communist
Cuthbert Michael-Smith,
“ I became a gangster because the Communist Party’s lack of
appeal to the Public (tch – THEM again! – Ed) stifled my violent tendencies.
However, not even that gave me sufficient legitimacy, so I joined New Labour
after the Communists to get my dogmatic kicks, just like Charles Clarke and his
friends! I’ve never been happier! ”
Let’s examine (ie – scoff at) the FASCIST Media’s
obsession with immigrants:
Many people in
OH YES, OH YES! Britain is a land of
opportunity, plenty and Equality – UNLESS YOU LIVE UNDER THE PUBLIC, EGGED ON
BY CERTAIN NEW LABOUR MINISTERS AND THE MEDIA! GOD, THE OUTRAGE, THE CONFUSION!
(It weighs heavy on any good Lefty to have to glory in both the fairness and
total injustices perpetuated by the same people all at once! ‘Open Door
Immigration’ far too tough? Oh yes!).
Anyway, the evil Daily Mail is brewing
up a storm by criticising migrants’
cooking habits now! God, ANYTHING TO BASH THE BROWN PEOPLE!!!!! And white
ones too, which just proves intent to Racism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder
people like the
lower class ‘milkies’ should be ignored! Read some
books and get educated! There’s some very New Labour-type stuff in there!
VOTE LABOUR – And show people the right things to think and do,
in the spirit of free-thinking! (Mind, it’s easier to blow their brains out or
send them to camps like in my day, but still.) I’m rather getting the hang of
this!
WE
ONLY KEPT QUIET ABOUT THIS IN CASE YOU GOT ANGRY, PUBLIC!
(See, we really DO think about your feelings
and concerns in New Labour!)
I
admit, we in Labour
bungled a bit over this new council tax thing, oh yes. Not Fit For Purpose,
even though we wanted it like that. But you have to admit that a new
and radical extension of policy for coming up with council tax bills was
bound to have a few teething troubles. But you can’t deny that in the name of
Equality and not letting people with more money be allowed to flaunt their
wealth (instead of helping Labour/the Nation) then it has been a roaring
ethical success!!
And
besides, we need the money mate! We in Labour always do! Without your generous
tax payments, how could schools,
hospitals and
Our
lovely public sector workers operate the country to its fullest capability?
After
all, we
know a bit about money management – DON’T WE HAVE A PARTY TREASURY TEAM,
CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER IN THE GOVERNMENT AND THE PRIME MINSTER HAVING BEEN
ONE AND ALL??!!
However,
certain bigots
and goose-steppers
refute all this glossy evidence, so thus deserve to die in abject poverty as
they are hit by double taxation in exchange for representation! Ah, such is a
Red wet dream!
VOTE LABOUR – Because you just have to understand how the world really works Public
– AND IT’S NOT HOW MOST OF YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE! GET USED TO
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW
TO SORT OUT THIS WHOLE LOST CHILD BENEFIT DETAILS FUSS
With Tim Simplistic, Deputy Dogma
Dispenser from the NUS Morality and Social Order Dept.
1. Ask the Public affected to send in old bank stubs and statements to HMRC
with their compliments. They should be glad to help fix the mess they whinge
about!
2. Run off a second copy of the lost statements from the government hard
drives and send that off to HQ.
3. Stop worrying. After all, the
crisis is over. Labour gets vindicated for its forward-thinking and the
Public feel involved in the government process for once, like they did with
that pots and pans thing during the war! BLITZ SPIRIT MATE, THAT’S WHAT THEY
LIKE!
NEXT WEEK: Dismiss the lost secret service
computer files as a prevention of a bunch of jumped-up second-rate James Bonds
kicking peoples’ front doors in, not to mention killing foreigners who commit
the ‘crime’ of working for somebody other than England!
VOTE
LABOUR – I know you expect the usual perfection from them,
but blimey – cut them some slack once in a while!
EMBARRASS
THE PUBLIC: Ask those immoral swines if they’d get angry at this.
If so, then lambast them for opposing FREEDOM OF SPEECH for the Islamic
Community!
(They should be
like Ken Livingstone, advocate
of true Red purity, and make such people ‘truly
truly welcome’ in the traditional spirit of British Hospitality! (Er, which
only exists when we want it to because they’re just intolerant racists really).
VOTE LABOUR – Or just stand by and watch as these same people will
doubtless go on to say that they should be listened to by we Powers That Be in
return!
SUB-COMMUNISTIC
AMBIVILENCE SPOT: Apparently, all the termites in the world
collectively jettison 150 million tonnes of methane into Mother Earth’s
delicate atmosphere per year!
By guest writer Arthur Shouty of the
Unbiased College Radical Society
I don’t like the sound
of that! I mean, even those warmongering Imperialist jackasses in
Alright, now we’ve stopped laughing/nodding our heads in
serious agreement at that piece of biting satire, let me outline our plight here.
Turns out that whilst we lambast human beings for being vile pollutants, we
can’t actually unleash our vengeance on the animal populations because their
damage is naturally occurrent. Think of the inequality of that!
So we’re going to be destroyed with the help of ‘God’s’
creatures are we? WELL, I SAY NO! IN ORDER TO REDUCE THE DANGER LEVELS OF TOXIC
GASSES WE MUST GRIT OUR TEETH AND DO THE RIGHT THING BY
KILLING HIGHLY TOXIC ANIMALS! After all, we can’t get at the Americans, so
cows it is! Logic takes us there in the end, just as our favourite Communist
leaders used to deal with dangerous human dissidents! (Well, that’s the
rumour). (If
people like Charles Clarke or Peter Hain or Mandelson used to mix with Commies
then it MUST have been a good system!!!). And after all, animals like cows
are hardly as cute as foxes or bunnies, so it’s alright for them to go.
(Alright, we could feed
the cows healthier grass to do the job (!), but we ‘hard’ Lefties need to
assuage our ‘killer’ instincts somehow! That’s why we end up joining Labour in
the end.)
VOTE LABOUR – And help
protect us from the bigots
who rail against us just for saving them from themselves!
THE
ARCHBISHOP OF
..And we’ve been
vindicated in our decision, what with the sheer value for money
At last the
distasteful Western Christian cultural framework is proving a success now that
we ‘PC’ Lefty people have ditched
the perverted bits and learned to use it properly. ‘Trendy’
vicars have driven away the stuffy blue-rinse devotional monsters who used to
pack the churches of England, the last bulwark against the Enlightenment
and Diversity of everybody who refuses to read the Tory manifesto without
snorting with derision!
And so, in the light
of that fair and common-sense background, it’s pleasant to know that Dr. Rowan
Williams is continuing to show his great ability for leadership by following good
solid Lefty values. Just recently he has declared that a few odds-and-ends
of Sharia Law should be incorporated into our legal system, the next
step on the road of integrating Britain into the growing and successful wholly
peaceful Islamic Community *. (AND IF THE QUEEN
DON’T LIKE IT SHE CAN ABDICATE AND LET A GOOD SOLID TRUTH AND WISDOM-MONGER
OF A RED PERSUASION TAKE THE REINS OF NATIONAL FIGUREHEAD! Then some good
really can be done without stuffy whingeing from the Crown! Having only Lefty
people of a ‘PC’ mindset running the place at all levels is the ONLY way to
ensure Equality and keep quelled dissent crushed in this Public-infested
reactionary rathole!!!)
This time he
has raised the bar of Cultural-Marxist-Rationalism
even higher by declaring the undeniable truth that young ‘louts’ only hang
around in intimidating gangs because they want to feel safe and secure, despite
the presence of normal people! AT LAST WE’VE GOT A REAL-LIFE CHRISTIAN
FIGUREHEAD WHO’S AS REALISTIC, WORTHY
AND LOVELY AS TV’S FATHER TED!! Obviously, the Public at large (AND
THEY BLOODY ARE AT LARGE MATE!!!!!) will baulk at this exposure of the truth,
but only because people of doubtful character and morals can’t stand up to
scrutiny! WE TOLD YOU IT
WAS THE PUBLIC TO BLAME FOR ALL OUR SOCIAL PROBLEMS BY NOT MUCKING IN ENOUGH!
If it wasn’t for them then all our much-abused
young ‘thugs’, brutalised by an uncaring and vengeful media, could relax
and breathe freely! After all, despite their crimes, you
can hardly bear a grudge against yobbos when you consider they
act the way they do in the folly of youth (except the ones who were in the
National Front or BNP at one time!). Even watered-down fascist leader David
Cameron has been forced to capitulate to this!
Oh yes, the Public may claim that because violent
crime at the hands of young thugs has ever so slightly risen, they don’t
feel very safe. BUT CAN THEY EXPLAIN AWAY THE FACT THAT MANY OF
(I mean, God Jesus,
the Public, I mean Christ blimey! Those hypocritical charlatans have been
exposed as drunken louts, yet they STILL piously bully Labour into doing their
bidding when it comes to yobbery! That’s
why we introduced 24-hour drinking as a lotus test to expose the
criminals who mix so well in the mass ranks of the bigots!)
Anyway, being TOUGH ON
CRIME AND TOUGH ON THE CAUSES OF CRIME (TOUGH
LOVE FROM TOUGH LABOUR!!!!!!!!!!)
doesn’t mean that thug policemen should smash children
around the ears and throw them into dungeons whenever they’re a bit naughty,
just because they’re starved of love!!!! But that just goes to show the Medieval
mindsets of the Mob who think we should follow their tyrannical orders when
they elect us! Indeed, one of the reasons Tony Blair left office was because he
and his policies were compromised by the Public’s lust for criminal blood!
No wonder, with an
evil Media behind them, encouraging them to harass good politicians in
their pursuit of a populist agenda!
So CARRY ON FIGHTING FOR MORALITY,
JUSTICE, ANTI-IMPERALISM AND FREE THOUGHT Dr. Rowan! DON’T let people who
disagree with you force you into silence, for THEY are the
REAL criminals in need of punishment for their thought crimes! (THAT’S WHAT
IT MEANS TO BE BRITISH, AS
IF WE NEED TO INFORMED OF SUCH CRITERIA!)
VOTE
LABOUR!
Because what’s more
important – the sanctity of ‘British’ culture, sovereignty and constitution, or
the ‘Loony’ Left Wing? Well, WE know
which is the purest and most valuable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* See
below article ‘Bishy On A Dishy’.
INSTANT KARMA:
It’s rash to want to be a death-tempting
irresponsible Tory or a have-a-go
police clod by facing down ‘yobs’ who are vandalising your house or
attacking its occupants – DON’T LOOK FOR TROUBLE AND DON’T TAKE THE LAW INTO
YOUR OWN HANDS, as the Home Office says. Just call the local cops who may send
a man out in times of trouble (or, ideally, a woman for purposes of
anti-sexism). Just don’t pick on the deprived
young-uns and they’ll have no reason to attack you before the behavioural
counsellors can treat them! VOTE LABOUR – we save your life!
(ADDITIONAL POINT: Before all you Public start whining about ‘not
feeling safe any more’, remember that we have to think of EVERYBODY’S
happiness, not just that of the well behaved. The European Court has
decreed that prisoners should have the vote now, so that’s an extra body of
real people to chase and represent in anticipation. I mean, with the ballooning
criminal community being able to decide the fate of Labour in many marginal
wards and constituencies, it’s important to think twice about their needs.
(It’s not as if there aren’t other
things for law enforcement people to do to uphold Leftiness and Human Rights.
WE SHOULD BE
LIKE BULGARIA AND UNLEASH CRIMINALS ONTO THE STREETS WHENEVER ANYTHING GOOD
HAPPENS!) And anyway, how could any CIVILISED person wish to persecute those
who just aren’t strong enough to not commit crimes? Just like those too weak to
not take drugs, THEY NEED HELP AND UNDERSTANDING! REMEMBER THE KIND TENDERNESS
OF PORRIDGE’S MR. BARROCLOUGH AND IMPLEMENT IT BY UNCOMPROMISING ORDER, that’s
what we say! I thought you liked criminals, as popularity for ganagland books
and tv shows just proves! VOTE LABOUR – and wallow
in peace, harmony and forgiveness, renouncing harsh punishments. It’s not as if you’ve a choice here anyway !)
INSTANT KARMA 2: HAPPY RETIREMENT FIDEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All good Lefties, of whatever
flavour, should congratulate Mr. Castro for a life well spent devoted to justice, freedom and hope for a better world.
He stood
up against the oppressive warmongering USA, sought to fix
Africa’s injustices alongside other socialist visionaries with a neutral
benevolence and has even influenced the wisdom of rich
little poor people with a grudge over here. And there are many many more
examples of selfless political guidance from this towering man of valour.
SO FAREWELL FROM OFFICE CASTERS OLD
BOY! EVEN SO FAR AWAY
YOU’VE DONE MORE GOOD FOR US THAN THE TORIES EVER DID!!!!!
FIRES OF HATRED RAMPAGE ACROSS
And YOU are responsible, Daily Rightwing gutterpress-reading scum; even
you ‘normal’ white people, fostering as you do the vicious
anti-Multiculturalist racism which poisons your moral purity! Don’t
try and wriggle out of it – being
ignorantly innocent is no reason for us Liberal-Red hybrids not to judge you
Not Guilty!
Like when those two mentally
afflicted women blew up in Baghdad (TERRORISM? Tch, typical gutter press
scandalmongering! It was probably that spontaneous human combustion that
occult-loving normal people like me keep hearing about), adherents of the
Religion Of Peace have once again been forced to counter-attack against the
forces of the bigoted Public! After all, all the Muslims want is to remain unmolested,
keeping
themselves to themselves!
I bet you haven’t heard of Nørrebro, have you mate?
Tch, thought as much! But then, you always do ignore centres of hatred and
terrorism when it’s OTHERS OF YOUR OWN COLOUR who cause the trouble! As usual!
(SO STICK THAT IN YOUR DAILY MAIL AND
SMOKE IT – SO I CAN ARREST YOU FOR HAVING A BONFIRE IN A SMOKELESS ZONE!!
DOUBLE-WHAMMY OF JUSTICE AND PLAIN SPEAKING THERE! (You can’t win against Labour,
we’re always one step ahead! No, two! Actually, actually it’s THREE OR MORE!
GET USED TO IT!)
What a good article
this is readers! I’m on my high horse and I’m galloping away on my mighty steed
of ranting! And who says that people are frustrated and miserable under New
Labour? I’m having a nice time, so it can’t be that bad!
Anyway, Nørrebro has seen almost a week
of rioting by Muslim youths, angry about something or other, in their just
battle for the clear goals of Allah. THE AUTHORITIES IN
I bet you can’t even PRONOUNCE it! “Nørrebro”! See, it was
EASY! Learn with Leftwinger and be even-handed and neutral for once in your
miserable lives! You’re just SO despicable, you really are. NO
PLATFORM FOR THE BIGOTS until they clean their acts up morally because
there’s no such thing as their phantom ‘anti-white
racism’! And that’s a FACT!!!!!!!!!
Nørrebro is, as I say, a European centre of world
hatred! Even more hateful than
No wonder Muslims across the Continent feel scared
(so much so that they close ranks in even Labour’s face!), what with kufir
verbal atrocities going on. And so no wonder we get so paranoid here in the Left.
So, then, for us to gain peace in
VOTE LABOUR – Because if Islamic Fundamentalism
ever comes to
SOCIAL
ENGINEERING IS RIGHT AND PROPER TO TAKE THE NATION TO PLACES WE WANT IT TO GO spot:
SO-CALLED
‘INDIGENOUS’ BRITS ARE BIOLOGICALLY HATEFUL TOWARDS BROWN PEOPLE!
(I mean,
alright, Labour’s last ‘discriminatory’ shortlist prank ended up with we being
punished by institutionally sexist judges, but surely Equality can’t
fail THIS time…..)
ALLAH AKBAR!
And if you ever doubt it then both Labour
AND Muslims shall make your life hell mate! LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE
RELIGION OF PEACE, DAMMIT!
Well, that’s it. The
line has been crossed, the Rubicon has been swum chum! The Muslims have been
pushed, insulted and forced under the thumb of Western racists just because other
people from Islam have decided to enslave the West. BUT NOW THE FIGHT BACK
BEGINS, SO WATCH OUT
The boss of the MUSLIM COUNCIL OF BRITAIN, my DEEP
AND PERSONAL FRIEND, has blasted the Government itself for whipping up tension over
terrorism, and rightly so. Even I, somebody from Labour, am disgusted at the
way the Government panders to the Public by jailing Muslims on the flimsy
pretext that they are caught plotting or perpetuating terrorism! SINCE WHEN DID
LABOUR PICK UP THE HABIT OF REFUSING TO GIVE BENEFITS OF THE DOUBT TO THOSE
ARRESTED FOR SERIOUS CRIMES??
He’s
right you know, that bloke. You can’t call terrorists Muslim terrorists
because that labels them. After all, as he says, we didn’t call the IRA freedom
fighters ‘Catholic Terrorists’! And indeed we never, which just proves how
right he is! (So much so that the IRA were blowing things up in the name of
Home Rule rather than religion, which just sets the seal on his knowledge).
But still, bigots like the one writing this website STILL refuse to see
how Muslims and Islam at large are wronged by Western assumptions. Most Muslims
AREN’T terrorists or extremists, but they are still looked upon as an alien
people wanting to usurp British culture and customs. Even when they call for
Sharia Law to be adopted into British law for their own personal use, thus
ensuring that the
Well, that’s it. NO
FRIEND OF MINE BECOMES A VICTIM OF NAZI
THEY CAN LIKE WHAT
THEY WANT AS LONG AS WE CAN LIKE WHAT WE WANT! SO DON’T BLOW IT YOU BRITISH
RANTERS, OTHERWISE MORE BOMBS WILL GO OFF, DETONATED BY THOSE DRIVEN TO THE
BRINK OF MADNESS BY WHITE RACIAL HATRED!
VOTE LABOUR! Most
of us believe that just because Allied Intelligence snoopers, listening in to
radio traffic by terrorists in Afghanistan, hear Arabic spoken with Geordie and
Scouse accents, DOESN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT ANY BRITISH MUSLIM IN GUANTANAMO IS
GUILTY OF MORE THAN HAVING AN INNOCENT ASIATIC NATURE RAMBLE, BUT BEING
ARRESTED ANYWAY! No wonder our paranoid ‘hoodie’ buddies get that way with
people like the Americans, Israelis and Public around to hem them into a
corner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BISHY ON A DISHY
(Well,
two actually, to make that wordplay work. USE SOME IMAGINATION, YOU LAZY
PUBLIC!!!!!)
What with all this Muslim fuss, let’s get some
balance here. TAKE TWO BISHOPS, ONE ARCHBISHOP AND ONE ORDINARY BRAND ‘X’
BISHOP.
The Archbishop tries
to appease the Muslims
and gets lambasted
by bigots. The other tries to appease the bigots and gets lambasted
by Muslims.
Now, the Archbishop is
a kindly man who thinks that people of different religions should have British
law ever so slightly bent to fit their whims. That way everybody’s happy.
However, the nasty old Brand ‘X’ bishop chose to disrespect those of a different
religion and was roundly told off for it by all decent people.
BUT WHO DOES THE SYMPATHY GO TO IN THIS TOPSY-TURVY
NATION? WHY, THE BRAND ‘X’ NAZI-R!!!!!! Of course, in reality, the Archbishop
should be the one sympathised with in his drive to build bridges and create
harmony. And setting the precedent for further inter-cultural expansion, plus
ignoring what the fascist ‘X’ man talks about is part of that process.
To listen to the
Public talk you’d think the Muslims get all the special
treatment, just because some can’t solely cope with the results of their
own self-indulgence.
But the truth is that they are slandered
and ridiculed just for daring to voice their needs and mark their territory!
NOW let the Public
stand up for Moral Equivilence (just as the choosy buggers suddenly didn’t when
looking at the
QUICK THOUGHT: And why aren’t very many MPs up there in Parliament debating the EU’s
‘Reform’ Treaty and standing up for British independence?
Why, because
Bloody good thing that LABOUR
‘decentralised’ the whole legislative process by scattering far and wide the different
processes required to run the nation. That means that only 40 MPs are in the
House to argue the toss on the Treaty. It looks bad on the telly, as it makes
us appear lazy, but we’re everywhere we need to be!
And anyway, if that’s what it takes to reduce the influence of the
Public and their puppet lackeys (mostly Tory), then I say ALL THE BETTER! Can’t
have them dabbling in politics when they know nothing about it! (We ought to
legislate against that, just as we’ve had to do to ban unqualified idiots from
mending their own cars or installing their own cookers).
We can’t get on in the world without
AT LONG LAST SHALL THE CROWN BE SUBSERVIANT TO THE EU TOO, AND NOT JUST
ITS GOVERNMENTS! AND THAT’S NOT TO MENTION THAT THE EU SHALL BECOME A STATE IN ITSELF,
WHICH IS WHAT THIS TREATY MEANS ABOVE ALL ELSE. I HATE THE BLOODY QUEEN, SO SHE
SHOULD BE PUT IN HER PLACE LIKE ALL THE OTHER OUT OF DATE BRITISHERS – UNDER
THE THUMB OF A SUPERCONTINENTAL POLITICAL POWER BLOC TO COUNTERBALANCE THE
BRITAIN AS WE KNOW IT IS DEAD. LONG LIVE NORTH-WEST OFF-SHORE ENGLISH-SPEAKING
VOTE LABOUR – Vote EVERLASTING
(CENTRALISED) POWER AND GLORY! AMEN mate!!
ROMA GYPSIES PERSECUTED
AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After being bullied by the Nazis during World War 2, the Bulgarian gypsies
are having to take YET ANOTHER bout of ethno-genocide… FROM THEIR OWN
GOVERNMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fascist Bulgar boss Kanchev has
bullied his Roma subjects by telling
them to get jobs or have their benefits stopped. This will surely result in
a mass exodus to other European countries as frightened refugees escape to
places in which they can still relax.
IF THEY COME TO MY CONSTITUENCY THEY’LL GET A WARM WELCOME! Britain has
ALWAYS had a warm fire, and a meal ready, for political dissidents fleeing from
enforced starvation and tyrannical regimes! Don’t mind the grouchy and ranty
Public, LABOUR’S HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU ALL, THANKS TO OUR VAST CASH
REPOSITORY! NO MORE shall the poor gypsies have to ditch their ancient crafts
of prostitution and burglary just to sell out to the Capitalist job market!!
Meanwhile I shall be demanding that Gordon Brown lobbies the Bulgarians!
Support me as I overturn this spiteful hate campaign against those whose
culture of living inside dirty wheeled sheds and defecating in bushes clashes
with ‘civilised’ Bulgar ‘values’!
It’s
Justice in action! VOTE LABOUR – and be proud of us all!
Bigots wanting their way
are…
DAVID CAMERON’s having a laugh when he calls for the return
of park keepers to our play areas.
“We need to reclaim the street,
because that’s where our children grow up”, the Tory nutcase said. He also
wants somebody else’s dad to discipline YOUR naughty child!
NOT ONLY IS THAT A GROSS INSULT TO THE PUBLIC (and we in Labour
recognise that certainly), BUT IT ALSO JUST ASSUMES THAT ADULTS ARE
But still, that’s why the Tories are
in Opposition rather than being able to wield Labour’s rightful mastery of
nation and culture. Such an ill-judged policy would never work in a million
years (even though it did before), not to mention the fact that today’s savvy
and independent young people would more than likely retaliate with violence
against any square trying to dis’ them or run their lives and fun!
BUT STILL, IF YOU WANT
In the case of REAL
LIFE vs. THE
RELIGION OF PEACE, I reach the verdict that the
RELIGION OF PEACE has been victimised, so I hereby place a restraining order on
REAL LIFE to keep at least 500 yards from THE RELIGION OF PEACE at all times! Case
Closed!
Well mate, it would appear that relations between the Islamic Community
and everybody else in the nation are getting frostier every day. Can’t say I’m
surprised, what with all the hoo-ha from the bigots just because a few bombs go
off and a few loony-tunes plans are foiled. Doesn’t mean to say all Muslims
(and Islam itself) are tainted, does it. Does it?
Living in
Just because the Islamic Community in
But how can we make people live in
harmony with the Muslims? Well, the Muslim Council Of Britain, snubbed by Tony
Blair in his rage of intolerance, has been warmly welcomed back into the Labour
fold by Gordon Brown to continue its rational
outreach work. Islamic
VIPs are warmly welcomed in this country, as are their teachers
and Mosque builders. The exciting new Sharia
system of law is being freely
chosen to be applied instead of British law, which is nice. We should integrate
with the lonely Muslims and also swallow our pride by continuing to ‘sop’ to pushy Community Leaders
to avoid further ranting. Topped off, of course, by working hard to avoid
using the certain words which will spark their anger again. All we have to do is ensure as
many Muslims as possible don’t throw tantrums to ensure their sensitive
feelings are soothed! It’s called sensitivity, as we told Hitler at
BOTH BELIEVERS AND KUFFARS SHOULD
FIND COMMON
GROUND BASED IN EUROPEAN AND MIDDLE_EASTERN HISTORY, as we in the Left
have already done, thanks to our knowledge about the evils of the
US!. Only then can we find peace and harmony. GOOD OLD
VOTE LABOUR –
Because it’s all been one
big misunderstanding you know! After all, to a Western liberal mindset,
it’s IMPOSSIBLE to have
a malevolent religion!
* 61% according to a recent Guardian poll.
THE PUBLIC’S GOT A PERSECUTION
COMPLEX MATE!
So best that we feed it to cure it,
like we do with drug takers in those clinics! And we in Labour are past masters
at all that, you have to confess…….
The Public take great exception to being punished. They think, do and
say the wrong things, put too much rubbish out for the dustmen, roll around in
money which rightly belongs to the Exchequer and insist on driving their cars
when we expressly forbid such excess. THEN THEY WHINGE THAT WE DON’T
SUFFICIENTLY PUNISH THE OUT-OF-BOUNDS ‘CRIMINALS’! THE HYPOCRITICAL
CHARLATANS!!!!!
Take motorists. They poison the
environment, run down small children and pretend to be Jeremy Clarkson by roaring
their engines and scaring old people out of their wits. They are such a public
nuisance that ALL motoring accidents which occurred between 2002 and 2005
involved cars. And motorcycles, vans and lorries and even buses. A right old
bunch of rum coves then, but woe betide the crusaders for freedom and justice
(Labour) if they try to take them down a peg or two! Oh yes, we all remember
the infamous fuel protests where public-backed road-hog drivers had the
temerity to bring the nation to a virtual standstill! (They don’t know what
persecution is, but we’ll show them!)
Who are the criminals now??!!
But justice is being meted out to
the biggest murderers of all – MATRICIDAL FOUR-WHEELED MANIACS WHO STOLE THE
ROAD FROM THE (PATHETICALLY OUTDATED) HORSE! Mother Earth shall be avenged as
the selfish pigs find themselves overcharged
for cheap diesel and punished for driving alone when we introduce Multiple
Occupancy lanes on our motorways. This is but the latest barrage against the
Belsen-style mobile ‘gassers’! Oh yes, it doesn’t matter how important you are
(unless you’re an Labour MP on the way to Parliament, hopefully), you must
crawl along in the slow lane just so car-sharing partygoing kids can get to
their bumpy-thumpy clubs on time! And you’ll be caught on camera and heinously
punished if you try to get a piece of the action whilst driving solo too! It’s
called EQUALITY!
Take your medicine like a man (er, person)
and PERHAPS we will respect you!
VOTE LABOUR – We’re NOT ‘persecuting’ car drivers
ACTUALLY, as this current
item in the news just proves! You berks!
_____________________________________________
LABOUR IS WORKING!! I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES!
….And all the Public do is moan
about our wealth!!!!!!!
HOW THE HELL CAN YOU HAVE A COUNTRY WHICH IS ONE OF THE RICHEST ON THE PLANET
(OR, INDEED, THE ENTIRE GALAXY) RULED BY IMPOVERISHED MASTERS WITHOUT EVEN A
GUSSET TO THEIR TROUSERS???!!!???
That’s the question the Public
refuse to answer satisfactorily as they rant with jealousy over our
Parliamentary pay claims. Just because they discover we make a few bob more
than they do, they start acting as we in Labour always did when it comes to the
sloath and opulent privilege enjoyed by the nation’s Establishment. It’s
childish, it really is, and all goes to show the SUPREME FOLLY AND COMPLETE
IDIOCY of the Freedom Of Information Act. After all, give the Public an insight
into the corridors of power and they’ll only go all Bolshevistic and want to
take all our earnings away! It’s hypocrisy of the highest order, it really is
mate! After all, WE are the ones who have been voted in to do that to THEM!
Well, calling for the abandonment of
our extra wages will REALLY make the nation a better place, won’t it?! How many hospitals will remain unclosed if
we the bosses were to forgo our bread-and-butter ‘frauds’? NONE! Would tax be suddenly lowered if we to be
more ‘prudent’ in our own financial affairs? NOT UNDER LABOUR MATEY, and
rightly so! To do otherwise would smack of irresponsibility, and that just
wouldn’t do under Labour! Indeed, we repeatedly tell you we do nothing wrong,
so thus it’s true. You know us well enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so, in order to keep the
equilibrium of the balance of power and poodle-style Public faith in and
resignation to the sacrosanct Status Quo, let us LEARN LESSONS from the canny
fiscal investments made by our political and social superiors Peter
Hain (again), Ed
Balls and Rt. Hon. Gordon Brown VIP PM himself! And not whinge like the
petty-minded graspers you really are! (Just admit it, you’ll feel much better!)
SO WHO’S OUT OF TOUCH AND LACKING IN SCRUPULOCITY NOW, PUBLIC?! AFTER ALL, IF IT WASN’T FOR
YOUR LITTLE SCAMS, WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO PUT OUT THREATENING ADVERTS TO TELL YOU
THAT WE’RE MONITORING YOUR CARS AND TELLIES SO WE CAN PUNISH YOU FOR NOT
SPENDING ENOUGH MONEY TO EARN YOUR RIGHT TO KEEP THEM!
VOTE LABOUR – Because if you want to look down on us, we can damn
well return the favour!
____________________________________________________
FAR-RIGHT GUN FREAK NORMO TEBBO
MIS-FIRES HIS HARD WEAPON AND BLASTS HIS AMMO POUCH! THE ONE IN HIS TROUSERS!
(That’s good innuendo, so excuse me while I laugh at my razor
wit!)
‘BNP’ Tory nob (there I go again!!!!!!!) Norman Tebbit has come up with
his own master
plan to eradicate gun crime – TO ARM EACH AND EVERY YOB AND TRAIN THEM HOW
TO KILL!!!!!!!!! I mean, I mean….. that’s like letting
paedophiles work in schools (actually quite a nice thing Ms. Kelly) or downgrading dangerous
drugs (way to go Mr. Blunkett)!!!!! ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET DECENCY AND
PEACE THAT WAY???!!!!!!
He’s really lost it this time, the
senile old duffer! You know me, I respect my political opponents, but old
Tebbit has really gone over the edge this time. Alright, there is indeed the
school of thought which runs roughly along the lines that if there’s going to
be any shooter-related excitement at all, then it must be controlled and
strictly supervised at gun clubs and hunts, BUT THAT’S NOT THE WAY TO DEAL WITH
HIGHLY EXCITABLE YOUNG KIDS, ‘JAZZED-UP’ AS THEY ARE ON TRANS-FAT JUNK FOOD AND
CHEMICAL-LAIDEN SOFT DRINKS! (NOT TO MENTION THE HEADY PSYCHOTIC RAGES ENJOYED
BY THE ‘CHAVS’ WHO MOVE UP TO STELLA
The tried and trusted way to deal
with children seduced by the glamour of firearms is to tell them ‘Oooo no nono,
you can’t have that, not any more!
Get back to the harmless pursuits of your Grand
Theft Auto Vice City computer game, followed by a huge family pack of
crisps. Or, if you don’t fancy that, go outside and run aimlessly around
(though don’t play any competitive games because they demoralise losers and
make ‘winners’ think they’re superior)! Either that, or help Mum get the dinner
ready – there’s an impressive array of knives in that kitchen you can choose
from when it’s time to peel those potatoes!’
THAT’S THE HEALTHY WAY TO
APPROACH THE PROBLEM – GIVE KIDS AN AIM IN LIFE (NO PUN INTENDED, you
gun-nut FASCISTS!)! I bet irresponsible old Norm will be advocating
white-water rafting and abseiling next! (Which, of course, would also be
dangerous as they too break the Universe’s natural Health And Safety Laws).
No, the way to reform young yobs is
to instill into them some good old-fashioned discipline and fear of punishment
whilst, at the same time, providing good solid physical pursuits for them to
engage in. Which is why we in Labour are always calling for more youth clubs
run by bearded types who the kids don’t respect very much. Table Tennis and
meek threats of being barred from the building if the kids misbehave is the
firm hard training needed by tomorrow’s upstanding urban-decay citizens! IF WE
CAN DO IT THEN SO CAN TEBBO! BUT HE’S TOO MUCH A DYED-IN-THE-WOOL YOUTH HATER
FOR THAT!
VOTE LABOUR – Because we’ve SOLVED life’s little social problems,
not that many of you can be bothered to look for the evidence! Just trust us on
this, you know you can!
SCOURGE-OF-BRITAIN TORY ATROCITIES 1:
THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY IS STILL THE SLEAZY, DECEITFUL FRAUDSTERS AS EVER
THEY WERE! LABOUR WERE RIGHT TO RING THE WARNING BELLS DURING THE MAJOR YEARS
as Tory non-entity Derek
Conway misappropriated Parliamentary allowances to pay for educating his
sons.
In contrast to allegations of fraud made
against various top Labour supremos, allegations without a shred of truth
naturally,
"No judgment from any quarter could
be more harsh than that which I apply to myself”, he said, in common with any
other self-pitying criminal. But still, what do you expect from a grubby little
party who sold out their principles and morality many years ago? Power For
Power’s Sake, that’s them and just look where it got them!
VOTE LABOUR – marking the difference
between Left and Right!
SCOURGE-OF-BRITAIN TORY ATROCITIES 2:
Well well well mate! It seems that a councillor representing that racist
party of Enoch Powell has had his hide saved… by the kind of ‘darkies’ which
the old ‘Rivers Of Blood’ fascist railed against back in 1968!!
Muslims from a
What a brew-ha-ha there would have been had the noble Muslims decided to
air their dirty washing in public. Washing, of course, which is of no interest
to anybody but the parties concerned and which would only have dented
Public/Bigot confidence in more adherents of the Religion Of Peace! What a
field day we could have had in the Left, goading the Conservative Party for
their own racism. It usually is racism, come on!
But whatever the weather, this still
proves that the Tories are still the Nasty Party, deserving of all the
‘harassment’ they claim to receive from all those non-Tories who have stayed
faithful to their own culture, races and beliefs!
VOTE LABOUR! THE CONSERVATIVES CANNOT BE
TRUSTED WITH THE NATION!
What is it about Western publics? They adopt alien ideas
about how they want their societies to run, then they SLANDER WE POLITICIANS
for being out of touch! I have a selection of horror stories from the news to show
up just what a cuckoo-land world we Reds have to put up with under the reign of
the Public. But not for much longer…….
_________________________________________________________________
THOSE
EVIL WHITE RACISTS! (But then they are American, so you hardly expect tolerance and equality from
those slack-jawed, gun-toting KKK-derived fascists!)
The Yank voters have shown
themselves up as the Apartheid-minded little Hitlers I always said they were in
ol’ South Carolina as the Democrat person of non-Caucasian heritage WAS
SHAMEFULLY AND DISGUSTINGLY REJECTED BY THE WHITES THERE!
Even Bill Clinton, his opponent in the Democratic Party race
for Presidential campaign candidate, showed his white man venom by launching a
disgusting broadside against fair Mr. Obama BY CLAIMING HE LIKED REAGAN! I’d
give him a
But in A ROUSING
SUCCESS FOR RACIAL EQUALITY, TOLERANCE AND DIVERSITY Mr. Obama ended up with
55% of the vote, compared to Hillary Clinton’s 25%. (Some people might say that
her being a prissy dogmatic bossyboots had something to do with it, but No.
It’s all racism’s fault, and besides which I like bossyboot control freaks.
They get the job done.)
But we must never let
such disgusting racial divisions happen ever ever again! Because if we do, even
inherently pure personages like the
THOSE
MIDDLE-CLASS IVORY-TOWER SNOBS! (Do those Daily
Express-reading snootydrawers REALLY
think they can win?!)
The kind of people who
like to ensconce their properties behind George Harrison-style security
enclosures must be forced to open up and allow themselves to be as so-called
‘vulnerable’ to outside forces as anyone else mate!
Oh yes, the days are long gone when the hissy-fit rich can
defend themselves from the angry proletariat by hiding behind very high
impersonal walls you know. They must have terribly guilty consciences, that’s
all I can say. AND THEN WHERE WILL IT END? ARMED GUARDS AND PRIVATE ARMIES?
It’s time to nip potential future terrorism and centres of insurrection in the
bud. And who better to start with than Conservatives, life’s victims just ripe
for punishment?!
I’m not convinced by
their flimsy excuses you know, oh no. All that hogwash about keeping out
criminals as a last line of defence just smacks of paranoia and deep-seated
phobias of persons from the ‘lower’ classes. We can’t have people adopting a
siege mentality like
VOTE LABOUR – Because how can you have social cohesion when some selfish people
insist on closing themselves away from the vibrant communities of which Labour
take just pride?
___________________________________________________________
AND CONTRAST THE BIGOTRY WITH OUR EXEMPLARY BEHAVIOUR:
Alan Johnson being
yet another innocent victim of media smears regarding political donation fraud
(indeed, it’s always somebody
else’s fault under Labour!) and Gordon
Brown’s endearing childlike trust in the goodness of Europe!
So now you know who to emulate, GET OFF YOUR HIGH ANTI-LEFT HORSES!
LABOUR LEADS FROM THE FRONT BY FOLLOWING
SCANDALOUS
EXCLUSIVE: TONY BENN IS JUST AS MORALLY
BANKRUPT AS THE AVERAGE MEMBER OF THE “I’m Always Right, So Obey My Orders”
PUBLIC!
I didn’t
want to say that but he’s driven me to it!
He’s so-called ‘blown’
the so-called ‘whistle’ mate! He’s only gone and helped upset the apple cart of
peaceful Eurofederalist integration!
He’s somebody from Labour for God’s sake!
The once proud class warrior is now HELPING THE PUBLIC-FASCIST
AXIS by perpetuating inaccurate (though highly true) statements that
Old Benn must henceforth be dumped from the Labour Party for
encouraging division in our grand organisation and for helping the enemy
(bigots, etc.). It’s all for
Tony Benn’s pre-senility glory days included sterling
work as the Government minister who invented the
I particularly liked one of his quotes: "It's very interesting to me that
some ex-communists in the Labour party have been able to shift from Stalin to
Blair and it hasn't been much of a shift... the shift from Stalin to Blair is a
minor adjustment." At last he said something
complementary about people from New Labour! I knew old Stalers (as I
touchingly call him) had the right idea if people who think like him can run
Britain!
So sadly contrast his baffling
present behaviour with that of Gordon’s own Mr. Milliband – he faced down his
antagonisers superbly, with not a straight answer in sight. After all, they
would be wasted on people like the Public! And avoiding straight answers just
gets the job done, which is more important than satisfying the Little Englander
Englanders! See how right I am in the face of that evidence!
VOTE LABOUR – Because when we (aside from a few ANTI-BROWN,
ANTI-BRITAIN TRAITORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) rush the Constitution through
Parliament and it becomes binding, THEN AT LONG LAST SHALL OUR ISLAND STORY
END! WE CAN PUT OUR FEET UP AND RELAX AS WE FINALLY INFLUENCE THE HEART OF
EUROPE!
LABOUR LEADS FROM THE FRONT BY FOLLOWING
MILLIBAND’S DICTATOR SHIPS,
er, DEBATING TIPS! (Slip of the Lefty tongue there!) Number 32,321.
In the video we saw
how even facts can be invalidated as mere whimsy by dismissing them as the
crackpot viewpoints of the unenlightened.
We got the idea for
that upon discovery that our allegedly ‘out of touch’ ‘PC’ ideology was
dismissed as lunacy by the Public!
.
Such hypocrisy,
however, does not go unpunished as the poetic justice of we being the masters
of
The ‘British’ People Are Laughable – THEY THINK THAT EQUALITY COMES
FREE!!!!!!
Well, Public, I expect you’ll be moaning and whining about this
as well (God, you’re like soo predictable
– CHANGE YOUR HABITS YOU DISGUSTING TROGS, THEN MAYBE WE MAY CONSIDER LISTENING
TO YOU! In the near future. Which we probably won’t).
You think there’s some sort of
discrepancy between the 900,000 new National Insurance numbers created and the
270,000 new work permits granted. I can hear you griping that there must be
some woeful incompetence to blame for this ‘shambles’, which just proves your
abominable attitude towards we innocent providers of unity and civic safety in
Labour.
Alright, I admit, there does indeed
appear to be that up to 630,000 new benefits cheques over the past 3 years are
ripe for claiming, without the claimants having paid in to the System at all,
but that doesn’t mean to say that Labour are in any way wrong to force open
your wallets and shower your money around as if it’s the last day on Earth.
(And after all, what with PUBLIC-CREATED GLOBAL WARMING KICKING IN THEN I MEAN,
IT PROBABLY IS THE LAST DAY!!!!!!!! LIVE FOR TODAY, BECAUSE THERE’LL BE A HELL
OF A MESS TO CLEAR UP TOMORROW! SUCK IT AND SEE MATE!)
The fact of the matter is, and my
brain backs me up on this, is that in the new Global Village, with the EU as
our own little commune, we’ve got a responsibility to look after everybody else
in the world, not just you mate! There are certain rules which we as a
civilised people MUST follow to ensure that ALL citizens of our happy-clappy
world can grow up contented, safe in the knowledge that the European taxpayers
and political elite can ensure their good health and moral wellbeing. AFTER
ALL, WE WERE BLOODY QUICK TO DOMINATE THEM DURING THE AGE OF EMPIRES! Now the
bill has to be paid and, sure enough, the sleazy and morally bankrupt Public
want to escape by the lavatory window!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIVE THAT
GUILT MATE! WE HAVE TO!
They don’t like foreigners, that’s
their trouble. Especially when it costs them money. When it comes to
xenophobia, based on their fallacy that we’re only an island with limited
resources, people like Migration
Watch are the very bitter nectar which the Public like to sup. Oh yes,
making hate figures of other people (particularly Labour) only serves to detract
attention away from the Public’s own very real mental and intellectual
deficiencies! I’ve hit the nail on the head, with any member of the Public
getting annoyed when I tell them that being the cast-iron proof! Truth always
hurts, as well I can tell you.
(The Media are responsible for all
our bad luck you know. Oh yes. It’s very unfair for media organs to lambast a
government just for following its own inclinations (except when the Guardian
and Mirror did it to the Tories. Well, they’re bigoted racist-sexists aren’t
they!). Still, at least good Lefties can UNITE AGAINST FASCISM by ranting
expletives and looking at things only how we want. Which just shines the light of truth!)
So for the Public and Media to egg
each other on, just because divisive and violent ethnic ghettoes pop up like
mushrooms in our cities now, just smacks of desperation. Desperation that they’re wrong, with their own ostrich policies leading
to disaster! AND JUST
LOOK WHO HAVE BECOME RUFUGEES NOW?????????????????????!!!!!
So be about your business, Public, you horrible little white hypocrites!
I BET WHEN YOU WANT TO FLEE TO
VOTE LABOUR – We love you really, but only on condition it’s
tough love! You need the training, you have to admit mate!
RACE HATE NUTCASE GETS PAID FOR HIS CRIMES!
As CONCRETE PROOF that this nation is going down the tubes,
serial xenophobe Robin
Page has been given £2,000 of the
For his disgusting
rally against lesbian lorry drivers or something, the One Man And His Cosy Fascist Middle Class Dog presenter was
arrested and threatened with prison, and quite right too. We’ve got to be Tough
On Crime you know, not that the moaning
Minnie topsy-turvy logic brigade can be bothered to notice! But he has now
‘cleared’ his name for ‘wrongful’ arrest. This is hardly going to discourage
him from continuing his hate campaigns against we in the Red
Purity brigade, particularly when those odious middle-class conservative
louts get behind him! But that’s what you get when you let Public Opinion smear
the lines of morality – Hitler-style ex-convict heroes! (Well, he was in
the police station!)
Oh yes, he’s got form
you know! He seeks the destruction of our very land you know! Tore up the EU
regionalisation map you know! And he was cheered on! No wonder he feels
alienated, typical
extremist!
(He wants to murder
animals in the name of fun and all, which only proves he’s just one step away
from wanting to build Auschwitz II! Just THINK about that and let it sink in
for a minute!). WHAT KIND OF STATE ARE WE LIVING IN? CLEARLY WE HAVEN’T BEEN
CONTROLLING OR DOGMATIC ENOUGH IN OUR DAILY AFFAIRS! Well, we’re learning the
lessons mate!
It’s bad enough that Nick Griffin escaped jail for his own
bigotry and racism, now Page is enjoying the feeling of having crime pay! AND
IT IS WE MUGS WHO PAY FOR IT THROUGH YOUR TAXES! AND WE NEED IT FOR WHAT WE
WANT!
SO FOR THE SAKE OF MORALITY, SANITY, BALANCE, FREEDOM,
SHOWBIZ NEWS:
And as well she
probably might, because I doubt the venerable Miss. Ash is one to bear grudges,
simply on the basis of a few germs which we in the Party have never met
in our lives before anyway. It takes one wise person to know another you know,
as I’m sure she is. Bet she’s wiser then the Public anyway (a retarded squirrel’s wiser than those
Victor Meldrews!!!!)
______________________________
GROVELLING APOLOGY
CORNER:
Oh my God, did I really say that? The Chief Whip will murder
me for these comments about the retarded squirrel. I don’t want any retarded
squirrels to be offended do I, being compared to those people?! I wouldn’t like
it.
I mean alright, retarded squirrels can’t understand English,
but nor can all those asylum seekers, hounded by Public dislike before they
even embark into the backs of lorries in their own home nations! Talk about
pre-judged attitudes mate! That’s another reason to apologise to the squirrels,
particularly the grey ones. They really can teach us all lessons on how to live
and get on in a multi-special society!
VOTE LABOUR – THE TRUE RED POWER MOVEMENT!
_______
Show SOLIDARITY with
our
-
by ORDER of somebody in Labour!
No no no no, my fellow living
martyrs of Socialist wisdom, I don’t mean the cabal of criminals and
watered-down Nazis known as George Bush’s Republican Party!!! They and their
Zionist fellow murderers are not who
I’m talking about, so you’ve no need to send me extremely vengeful emails!
I’m talking about our fellow
freedom-fighting brothers in
And as if that isn’t bad enough,
they make DOCUMENTARIES featuring
activist violence and BOOKS taking
our angry stance on perceived issues totally out of context!
Well, that’s it. I issue this plea
to the Democrat campaigners to MAKE THE CLOSURE OF PROTESTWARRIOR.COM A CENTRAL
POLICY PLATFORM! TAKING ON LEFTIES? HOW DARE
THEY?! AS IF WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITHOUT HAVING OUR LACK OF A
SENSE OF HUMOUR AROUSED! LEFTIES ARE THE ONES WHO USUALLY TAKE ON EVERYBODY
ELSE, SO YOU CAN’T HAVE THIS TWILIGHT ZONE-STYLE REVERSE-LOGIC ANARCHY! NOT
AGAINST US MATE! THE COMMUNIST ORGANISATIONS AND THE DEMOCRATS MUST UNITE
AGAINST FASCISM, just as they have with Labour over here.
I don’t like to come down all hard, but when anybody seeks to abuse
freedom of speech and expression by using it as a weapon to bash the Left, then
I mean well, it has to be confiscated across the board. Don’t want the Public
jumping on the bigotry bandwagon do we? They’re daft enough as it is.
[Sorry if that article came over all ranty. But I was shouting from the
heart there, so much so it’s having palpitations again. But that’s what you get
when you’re a 62 year-old lifelong activist for the ranting cause, with many
student admirers who tell me that because I’ve been screaming and rioting in the
name of what they like for 45 years, it must be true. And it is! VOTE LABOUR!
And Democrat of course.]
AFTER ALL, AMERICAN LEFTIST CAMPAIGNERS FOR FREEDOM AND EQUALITY HAVE A
HARD ENOUGH TIME WITH LIFE AS IT IS!!!!!!!
Indeed, two top Democratic campaigners
for the presidential race have started a ‘needless’ argument about race
when all they were doing was talking about being good to everyone! But that’s
the endearing thing about we Lefties – even if one of them dealt drugs in a
previous life, they can still unite for the forces of good!
_______________________________________________________
HAPPY NEW COMMU-YEAR, READERS!
Well, I’m back online after a nice
C*******s break, away from the hurly-burly of real life with its white bigotry
and fascism. Although I, in common with many other Red people, do not believe
in Christmas, I would nevertheless be very intolerant if I was not to indulge
in its good bits anyway. I can only be that humble. Indeed, I spent it away
from the Public so I could truly clear my karmic wheel and get my New Year’s
Resolution off to a flying start.
However, I’ve only had a very short break this time (December 20 –
January 10) because Britain is in its most perilous condition ever. Although we
in New Labour have inflicted great Anti-Public and Anti-British reforms (to
sweep away for good the institutional racism and sexism), it seems we have many
rebels out to undo all our good work.
For example, our poor persecuted
Muslims get it in the neck again, be they ‘violent’ or otherwise. OK, feral Muslim
gangs have turned many inner-city districts into violent no-go areas for
everyone else, but there’s no need to bait the gangs by saying they must be
vanquished. After all, Gordon Brown himself says on the issue that “I
don’t accept that there are or should be no-go areas in any part of the
country”. Therefore there aren’t. As a free British person at complete liberty
under Labour, just walk through any park or housing estate in the land and come
out unscathed. Just tell any yob that you have the complete freedom and human
right to walk through any area officially open to the Public and, believe me,
the thugs won’t be able to touch you!
Right To Roam, as Janet Street Porter says mate!
Anyway, they do it for cultural and tribal
reasons, as do gangs of thugs and psychos of any other background. Therefore,
it’s racist to target the Muslims with criticism specifically, thus the problem
is solved by ignoring it. Treat it all together or not at all, that’s what I
say. (And you can’t treat it all together because the sledgehammer-to-crack-a-nut approach would be a drain on the
nation’s resources and a drain on our intelligence. Catch 22 really).
Anyway, I don’t think religion’s all
that much to write home about. All it causes is trouble and strife. Except
Islam, which as we all must know is perfect. (It must be, as we’ll all be damned
to Allah’s punishment in the burning flames by rioting Muslims if we dare to
doubt it in any manner whatsoever). And as we in Labour have so much to live
for, we need to save face by picking on the Christians instead. And the only
way we can purify the whole basis of British culture and institutional ethos is
to destroy
the link between the Christian Church and the State. After all, who else
but a nut would wish to protect decent peaceful Christians from constant critical
bombardment from Lefties? THESE CHRISTO-FUNDAMENTALISTS ARE SO DANGEROUS
THAT WE ALSO BAN
THEM FROM TALKING BACK! (Very rude
when people do that, as every parent tells their
child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Centuries of traditional bonds
between England and civilised moral ethos is all well and good, but when it
stands in the way of progress and having things all go our way then well, what
can I say? Out it goes mate. You can’t have two
cuckoos in the nest, as Stalin himself recognised! Theological
Relativism just can’t be denied in a 21st Century Britain where
other faiths and political ideologies want to stake their own claims on British
cultural identity! Can’t be selfish Public, oh no no nono!
So it’s another year of hard work and sweat as we decent post-modernist
advocates of moral equivalence seek to re-warp the shape of
VOTE LABOUR - Because don’t think that the fall of the
ENEMIES OF THE STATE files, No. 45,983:
Captain Bringdown strikes again, this time in the guise of the Family Education Trust. These stifling
reactionary mind-controllers wish to restrict a Citizen’s personal freedom by
trying to bond the average human unit to the dogma which locks them into
stereotypical nuclear ‘Happy Families’. No room for lesbian hermaphrodite
divorcees trying to bring up violent, psychopathic children in areas of high
crime and racial tension or anything. They
don’t reflect real life, that’s their trouble.
Now, the Terrence Higgins Trust mate! That’s much
more like it! Their wise and neutral guidance would counteract the vile poison
of those who wish to corrupt our youth by turning them into robots in the name
of moral health! For example, look at how we must defend the
sexual choices which we in the Left present to children nowadays! Now there’s your mark of responsibility and
moral freedom! When we in the PC Left turn children into educationless robots at least we do it for sexual reasons!
VOTE LABOUR – Because we also have our soft side. Indeed we still allow
perverts like FET to continue to exist! And that’s tolerance!
________________________________________________________
V
I CT O R Y in
E U R O P E day! ! ! !
Stuff the piffling 8th of
May 1945, which was only a victory for brutal warmongers who need to be
forgotten by now,
In the future the European Union
shall have FULL FIRST REFUSAL on the validity of our laws, rather than the
pathetic compromise of MOST PART FIRST REFUSAL. That’s preferable, for who
better to be trusted with the future of our nation than an organisation whose
essential divisions resembles the Politburo or the Comintern! The European
Commission does for a start mate!
Of course, the Public (being pigs)
are bound to moan and whinge about all this. We’re going to hear their
nonsensical crowing that Labour’s committing treason again. THE CHEEKY GITS,
HOW DARE THEY THINK SUCH A LUDICROUS THING ABOUT THEIR OWN LEADERS! THERE’S NO
TREASON! You see, if we in Labour were
to think so negatively about our own policies then we’d have nobody left in the
movement to look up to! And that’s why we think good things are bad and
vice-versa.
The British people just can’t be
trusted, as their viewpoints prove. And so before they can successfully infiltrate
the British political system, the essential executive hierarchy must be put
beyond their reach. We’ve done it with the Civil Service and local government,
now we must finish the job or be remembered as bodge merchants by bitter future
generations. And you can’t have people in Labour thought of as that.
LET US EXAMINE JUST ONE OF THE
ZILLIONS OF BENEFITS WHICH THE ABOLITION OF EFFECTIVE SELF DETERMINATION FOR
THIS ISLE OF THUGS AND WHITE RACISTS WILL BRING: The ‘surrender’ of our control over immigration; or to be more exact,
The Centralisation Of Regulation Of The Influx/Outflux Of Non-Continental
Residents Into The Purview Of Relevant Officials Capable Of Ensuring… bloody
hell, A Cushy Life Cos They Deserve It Mate!
Yes, it’s a master stroke that one
policy alone! The Public won’t see it that way (bloody yawn!), but who are ones
in charge here?! The Public are peculiar you know. Since 1997 they have been
constantly complaining about Labour and our responsibility for letting a
‘flood’ of immigrants wash over our nation. They point to the ‘evidence’ that
80% of all new jobs go to migrants and that immigration puts an intolerable
strain on the nation’s social infrastructure, finances and even the demography.
They say that we have been either criminally inept or criminally destructive
and that we must stop.
…BUT NOW THAT WE’VE ACTUALLY PASSED
ON THE RESPONSIBILITY TO SOMEBODY ELSE YOU’RE STILL MOANING ABOUT LABOUR! GET A LIFE YOU PARASITIC BIGOTED BLOODY
DRONES! LOOK WHERE THE BALL IS NOW MATE! After all, if even Labour’s too light
to keep the barbarians (that’s you mate!) weighted down then an even bigger monolith of unity and
equality shall have to do the job. If it was good enough for the Soviet
citizens then it’s far too good for us!
Let the EU deal with the Public now,
we’ve had enough of both them and their stupid chav-hole of a country, so now
we can just put our feet up and watch the nation go by without the stress for
once! Let somebody else People Manage those cretins
and see how hard it is.
VOTE LABOUR – Because you have to learn to eat Humble Pie (mixed
with the egg on your face) at some time! You’re only reaping what you’ve sown!
PICK OF THE PAPERS!
I’ve got a
good one here mate. Its very headline promotes wisdom, tolerance and diversity,
thus ensuring the very best for the nation’s children. It’s such a good edition
that it should be the publisher’s moral obligation to reprint it every day.
So think
for yourself and obey the slogan!
STOP THE PRO-CHRISTMAS BIGOTRY!
For all our sakes!
We in Labour are such pure and wise
guardians of morals and justice that we can find fault in everybody else with
remarkable ease. And it’s only reasonable that we inflict our solutions to all your
problems without permission. Otherwise
nothing will get bloody well done mate!
Members of the Public, egged on by
irresponsible journalists, whinge and bitch that we
in the Left try to ban Christmas by stealth just because we don’t believe
in its cultural background. So much so that we’re forced to deny it. But it has
to be said that the farcical so-called ‘British Christian culture’ makes no
sense to us rational people so it may as well be scrapped. It’s a matter of
balance isn’t it.
The thing is that if you leave the
God Botherers unmolested then they’ll only get up to their old tricks of lying
to or misleading the Public. I can’t stand their arrogance! They swan round as
if they have all the answers and behave as if they’re saintly and pure in all
their acts. WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE – PEOPLE IN LABOUR?!
They also come out with nonsensical
propaganda campaigns (which just proves they’re not like people in Labour).
Just look at the filth reproduced below (WITHOUT PERMISSION! But I’m not
scared, for two reasons: a) If they decide to sue me then I can prove once more
my perfect legal skills as a self-taught Labour Human Rights barrister, and b) They’ve got no money
anyway, as well they deserve. CARRY ON DEFYING THE RELIGIOUS NUTS TO LET THE
GOOD TIMES ROLL MATE!)
Christmas is supposed to be a season
of goodwill to all men (plus women and transsexuals. As well as children, at a
pinch I suppose). BUT BLOODY HELL, THEY GO TOO FAR AS USUAL! They want a
peaceful night’s carol singing and indoctrination session? NOT ON MY BLOODY
SHIFT PAL, SO STRAP YOURSELF IN AND ENJOY THE RIDE AS I DISSECT THESE
CHRISTO-FASCISTS’ ARGUMENTS FOR PEACE AND JOY, ONE BY MENTALLY SICK ONE!!
CELEBRATING THE BIRTH OF JESUS, JUST BECAUSE HE WAS GOD’S SON? Ridiculous!
I mean, just because he’s the boss’ son doesn’t mean we should bow and revere
him! I thought we destroyed this forelock-tugging class distinction rubbish
years ago, you devotional socio-fascists!!
And anyway, if I’m going to worship the son of a fictional character I’ll
lavish my praise on Bart Simpson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ah, Aren’t I being
masterful and witty here? And it’s only Christians being offended too, making
it a victimless ‘crime’!)
GOD WANTS A RELATIONSHIP does he? Only goes to prove that all that power doesn’t
bring love. He should keep away from my backside or face prosecution for sexual
harassment! He should make himself a saucy secretary mate (in a purely
non-sexist manner)! And to think people who like this sort of thing lambasted
John Prescott or David Blunkett for doing the self-same thing! I couldn’t be
more disgusted if I tried (which I am!). That’s what makes you scum, short and
simple.
JESUS GAVE HIS LIFE TO MAKE THAT POSSIBLE; Yawn yawn mate! You don’t catch us
banging on about all our little sacrifices all the time. And anybody who says
otherwise or that we’ve nothing to bleat about is committing BLASPHEMY AGAINST
LABOUR! They’ve got no respect, that’s them.
DEATH NEED NOT BE THE END OF YOUR LIFE! Oh yes, I
suppose it’s just a little rest period is it? You disgust me with your
whimsy, Christian people, you really do! I suppose when you go back to work
your employer will ask where you’ve been for the past 2 years, to which you’ll
say you’ve been taking a much needed Death
Break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IMAGINE SOMEBODY IN LABOUR TAKING EXTENDED UNEXPLAINED ABSENSES AND THEN COMING
BACK AND EXPECTING TO CARRY ON AS USUAL WITHOUT COMMENT! Feel
the burn of my scorn and the featherlight tickle of my spontaneous wit mate!
(And just to prove it, I’ll be repeating these jokes ad-nauseum to whoever I
meet for the next 4 months, just so they can see it as well.)
YOU HAVE A CHOICE OF HOW TO RESPOND – WELL I MADE THE BLOODY CHOICE MATE, THE KNEE-JERK
REACTION, which is the classic choice, the wise choice, the LABOUR CHOICE! You
see, we’ve had the foresight to have all our wisdom-learning done and dusted,
so all we need do now is make automatic assumptions about any matter put to us!
WHICH MEANS THAT WE IN THE RED BRIGADE CAN HAVE HUNDREDS OF DECISIONS MADE
ALREADY WHILST EVERYBODY ELSE IS STILL STUCK MULLING THEIR OPTIONS AND LEARNING
THEIR LESSONS!
There you go Botherers, all you so-called Christians can CRAWL BACK
UNDER THE STONES FROM WHICH YOU CAME! JUST BECAUSE IT’S BLOODY CHRISTMAS,
DOESN’T MEAN TO SAY YOU CAN HIJACK THE NATIONAL CULTURE? WHAT THEN WOULD BE
LEFT FOR LABOUR???!!!!
I don’t believe the cheek of some
people mate! No wonder I go with the Muslims now, the TRUE bringers of total
peace, joy and harmony (despite the bombs and the ranting, though we can live
with the ranting)!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
PS – We Reds
are the TRUE spreaders of guidance and light you know, oh yes. At least we’re
tangeable. And if anybody’s going to be the bearers of glad tidings to all
persons, it’s us!
(Tidings to all, except those who
deserve to be ostracised for being anti-Labour in this trying political
climate. I mean, if they can’t even be bothered to come to terms with top
quality sub-communistic theorem then we can’t be bothered to let them go
without neglect. THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO PENSIONERS! I don’t believe it,
especially at this time of year, people dare to say they don’t like the way
Labour run the nation and even protest about it or put up political candidates
against us! BUT I SAY WE’RE THE BLOODY GOVERNMENT, THEREFORE AN EXTENSION OF
THE NATION, SO WHO’S GOT THE RIGHT TO SPEAK OUT AND IMPOSE THEIR WILL NOW,
EH?!)
Anyway, as harbingers of glad
tidings to all men (AND WOMEN, YOU BLOODY SEXISTS! No tidings for you for a
bloody start mate!), let me announce my generous new JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER
CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR PRISON INMATES CAMPAIGN!
Ah yes, because let’s face it, criminals
feel ever more isolated at Christmas time, when everyone else on the outside is
busier than ever indulging their own selfish whims to think about the less
fortunate. SHAME ON YOU PUBLIC, LOSING SIGHT OF THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS,
SOMETHING YOU YOURSELVES BOAST ABOUT HAVING TO US! We do our bit as well you
know, like not building a single jail since 1997 to reduce the number caged
persons shut in like animals. Surely we should get credit for even that?
In an effort to bond with the
vagabond (bloody good slogan, I’ll have that!), I want to take a vanload of
Labour Party carol singers up to the constituency prison to entertain the
inmates. And I’ll give them lots of presents costing £80,000 of taxpayers’
money (so now you know where it went
you nosy sods!).
SO THERE YOU GO – GOOD WILL AND
HUMAN WARMTH ON TAP, THANKS TO LEFTIES! AND WE DON’T NEED YOU BLOODY CHRISTIANS
TO DO THE JOB WHEN SIMPLE FAITH IN HONESTY AND GOODNESS SUFFICES JUST AS WELL! And that’s similar to what I’ll
tell the prison warders in a trademark lecture which is why they should shut up
moaning about being underpaid, undervalued, disrespected and exploited.
VOTE LABOUR – And take joy and inspiration from those of us who AREN’T
ignorant of life’s lessons!
AND NOW, PART TWO OF THE SPECIAL
C*******S-WRECKING DOUBLE-BILL OF EQUALITY; LAST YEAR’S PUBLIC INFORMATION
GRIZZLE FROM THE CONSTITUENCY OFFICE!
EXCELLENT SUPPORT PACKAGE FROM MR. LEFTWINGER!
HE
SUPPORTS HIS VOTERS YOU KNOW, SO REMEMBER THAT SMALL FACT AT THE NEXT ELECTION
WHY DON’T YOU!
You may recall from the main page that Mr. Leftwinger made a rather excellent cultural proposal in his printed so-called Christmas Speech. In it he outlined how the British Public’s transfer of homage from God to the Commodore 64 can diffuse religious hatred and tension in the world, particularly at this time of the year; indeed it is so that Christianity is one of the main religious stumbling blocks to Muslims in their pursuit of global unity!
WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU
NEED?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, in order to smooth the proposed transition from cultural fascism to neutralised peace and security, we have some special COMMODORE 64 SOFTWARE for you, plus the application to make it playable on the PC! Just in time for the, er, particular gift-swapping event which is popular around these parts come December. So let us all congratulate Mr. Leftwinger MP for his very kind provision of Yuletide cheer to satisfy his people!
This special Labour software was made to commemorate the gallant efforts of our truly remarkable government in combating one of the most virulent scourges to ever threaten the West! (You see, we are wonderful, so ignore sexist hate sheets like The Sun!). And as a result you yourself can indulge in the kind of sickening sexist machismo exercise that we Leftists ourselves tried hard to spoil for everyone from the 1980s to the present!
Below
are the bits and pieces to download to a selected place on your hard drive. So go
on, take the plunge and have a go! After all, it was your £800 in Arts Council
grants which paid for it! He’s worth every penny of his pay rise!
QUICK INSTRUCTIONS EMULATOR GAME DISK ‘ZIP’
SOFTWARE
(NB – Right-Click and
select SAVE TARGET AS to avoid this
screen closing down with each click
or select OPEN IN NEW WINDOW to run directly from
the web.)
SCREENSHOTS:
Ah, Public! This could be the beginning of a
real sea-change in popular culture. Please don’t be bigots and halt the
progress! Merry Labourmas!
STOP PRESS: More Commodore software is available here. And who said that Labour has its priorities all wrong??!!
______________________________________________________________________
APOLOGY: The esteemed and reverend (he
should bloody well be worshipped and all! – Ed.) JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER, guardian
of moral purity and laxity, apologises for the month and-a-half long delay in
updating his blog, but he just couldn’t be bothered talking to the likes of you
without a holiday. Get over it.
But now he is back, your fix
of wisdom and intellectual education is on him, free of charge! Isn’t he nice!
(And because He knows that
you don’t agree with what He says but shall fight to the death His right to say
it, Mr. Leftwinger can rest assured that democratic freedom for Labour means
that you and your children shall be like Him by order! It’s the only way to be
open-minded. VOTE LABOUR!)
_______________________________________________________________________
Isn’t it lovely having the Muslims
in
Oh yes, as a collective entity the
Muslims have no character flaws at all. Alright, their Koran tells
them to be brutal genocidal supremacists and invade every non-Muslim
territory and claim it for Allah, whilst killing or forcibly converting the
inhabitants, but bloody hell, that was centuries ago! You
don’t catch many British Muslims throwing their weight about nowadays, as
well you know!
It’s State policy to love the Muslims now you know. It’s
their flaws which makes them endearing you know, oh yes mate! And because
the State is synonymous with Red jurisdiction in general then you know all
there is to know about the validity of such a policy. Nobody must upset the Muslims and they must be given all they
demand. After all, it’s their reward for being the most gentle and peaceful
folk on Earth, integrating seamlessly with our culture and people, and who’ll
do us a mischief if we don’t comply with what they want.
So take a look at the below news
stories from just one week and revel
in the heart-warming way that we as a nation can serve our new swaggering
citizenry if we all pull together. And although many people here say that
they’re angered by the way they can’t even object to the New Order, whilst new friends can even
parade in London calling for people to be killed, it still has to be said
that we can divert your bigoted anger from extremist Muslim antics and onto us
instead by our policy of Appeasement. And it’s working!
VOTE LABOUR
– Because we don’t want
______________________________
FREEDOM
OF SPEECH MEANS FREEDOM TO OFFEND! GOT THAT PUBLIC, YOU BRAINLESS RANTING
OAFS???!!!
TYPICAL BLOODY RACISTS, TWISTING WORDS OUT OF
PROPORTION, JUST LIKE CHANNEL FOUR!
So there you have it, Public! SUBMITTING TO ISLAMIC REQUESTS FOR PEACE
AND JUSTICE DISPLAYS THE TRUE ‘BEST OF BRITISH’ TOLERANCE!
LABOUR vs. NATIONAL SOVEREIGNTY
….Can the IRRESTISTABLE FORCE beat the IMMOVABLE
OBJECT?
(Well, yes, obviously; it’s an irresistible force mate, Case Closed!)
The betrayal of one’s own nation is
a very serious and weighty matter. And we in Labour should know, because our
cultivation of that concept has allowed us to hone it to a fine art. All in the
name of dogma, nothing second rate about it. Indeed, we in the Left have a
general image of wanting to surrender every last scrap of Britain’s essential
sovereignty to the European Union without so much as a listen to the Public who
actually ‘own’ this land of ours. To which I say WELL YES, ACTUALLY. WE MAKE NO
BONES ABOUT WANTING TO TUCK
And what about us? The
responsibility of power resting on our shoulders is too heavy for us in Labour
to carry alone. Irony as it is, we wanted as much power and influence centred
in as many Red hands as possible, now it’s too hot to handle! So now we’ve got
to discard as much as we can so we can take time out to relax and enjoy the finer
things in life without all that worry. And you can’t have it going to the
Right, and we don’t want it, so some neutral third party has to have it as
Hobson’s Choice. It’s just common
sense.
Tony Blair quite rationally, and
quite sanely, outlawed the crime of treason at the end of the 1990s. And credit
where it’s due, he certainly allowed good solid Labourites room to manoeuvre
with that little scheme. Nobody can say that we don’t have our priorities
straightened.
…Or
so I thought.
Gordon Brown wants to finally ditch
the last vestiges of the old albatross of
But a Labour dominated committee
looking into the issue has said that Gordon Brown’s ‘Red Lines’ have been
repeatedly crossed and that his claim of retaining power at Westminster is
nothing short of a sham. Of course it is.
We only say things like that for Public consumption, so for Labour people to
openly undermine Mr. Brown’s efforts is nothing short of Treason. (Tony Blair
was a bit of berk to outlaw treason, eh?! You’re only supposed to stab the
Public in the back, not Labour! One’s counter-productive to British interests
and Labour isn’t, and you’d think people from our party would realise that.).
And don’t these other Labour MPs who also call for a referendum realise that
they’re doing nothing but tarnishing the reputation of the most noble and
gainly political organisation on the planet?! They’re showing us all up in
front of all those Euro-Federalists who only want the best for
There’s
a website out there called I Want A
Referendum.com. And logic dictates that it must be a load of old rubbish,
particularly as I haven’t heard of it until just now. I know I’m in touch, but
not with rubbish! The website demands a Referendum (tch, the arrogance!), but
we’re hardly likely to obey a two-bit website! Nobody holds Labour to ransom.
And anyway, you can’t consult the Public over such important matters because
they come out with all sorts of silly comments! The nation would be better off
without them.
And to all those who say that we in Labour promised a referendum
in our 2005 election manifesto, I say GET A LIFE! HAVE YOU GOT NOTHING BETTER TO
DO THAN READ OUT OF DATE, IRRELEVANT PAPERWORK?! If that’s the best line the
Public can come up with then they don’t deserve to have their own power!
Checkmate mate! After all, hasn’t the reputation of the Westminster Parliament
been cheapened enough by having its image adorned on common little HP Sauce
bottles? You can’t have the world’s foreigners coming over here and looking at
Parliament in disgust and saying “It can’t be very effective if all it’s used
for is an image on brown sauce bottles”. Just makes us a laughing stock. Much
better to have us run from a nice new building, unbastardised as it is by its
total absence on the condiment bottles of this two-bit country’’s sweaty,
pig-ignorant truck drivers. Impotence by association, that’s what’s caused this
whole power-transfer issue in the first place. So going to LES CONTINONTS
what’s going to fill the hearts of everyone else in the world with pride as we
in Labour can continue to run this land in our own image from superior
premises. And you can’t hold that against us.
Yes,
we promised a Referendum. But now that the name of the Constitution has
changed, we don’t need it any more. It’s a totally different document now and
you never noticed! See what I mean about you being out of touch and ignorant?!
VOTE LABOUR – And
if you cause us any more trouble in Europe as you have done over here, then
that’s the last time we move on your behalf!
AT LEAST SOMEBODY
LEARNED SOMETHING FROM OUR UNITED SOCIALIST PAST…..
The majority adult Public look upon the EU with
disdain. Can’t think why, we’ve told them not to however many times! The EU
gives them their own money, their own rights and their own brand new democratic
process to be involved in, so why they want to live in the past by keeping hold
of their second-rate jingoistic versions of these self same things is beyond
me.
But at least the children of Europe can be moulded.
Children are a like a dry sponge, ready to soak up the cool clear waters of
Eurofederalism, and damn good job too. The racist and supremacist culture of
Britain shall be no more when everyone is convinced of the EU’s might and
mastery of politics and morals. It’s called diversity of opinion.
And to help us in that process of persuasion I can
proudly introduce EUROMAN!
This gracious cartoon patriot can gently explain why their ways are so great
and everybody else’s are so rubbish. That is sooo balanced! (Of course, it’s permissible to have some people
with dissenting views, but only if they don’t get in the way of Labour or the
European Union. Best to keep that kind of treason behind locked doors. Can’t
have anarchy, as is demonstrated by the fact that you have to ask permission to
hold protest marches in Brussels itself!!! How forward looking is that???!!!)
Thank God the EU exists to fill the vacuum left by
its predecessor of unity and freedom on the Continent; does a certain hammer and
sickle design ring any lamented and fondly remembered bells out there in the
Left?! The huge number of Che Guevara tee-shirts still being sold around the
world today gives us all hope that a new generation of decent, rational and
unbiased political visionaries can continue burning the flags of freedom! And I
did enough of that a revolutionary student myself, which just proves my
dedication to the cause of Peoples’ Justice.
To gain more inspiration for imposing liberation on
the peoples of independent sovereign states, watch this video
(and buy
this one), produced by some of the most enlightened and truthful
wisdom-mongers we feel humbled to call fellow Lefties! VOTE LABOUR!
‘La Resistance’? More like La Belligerent Attempts To Overthrow the Common Order Of Solid People’s
Democracy And High Intelligent Counsel Which Allows You To Live Your Life In
Some Kind Of Rational Order And Sense mate!
I told you the Public
were bigots, didn’t I?! I’ve given you many a lesson from history on these austere
and neutral encyclopaedic web pages, as well you know. But sometimes the usual
intransigence from the Ignorants is dwarfed by outright treason. And they
wonder why they never become Prime Minister!!
If only Tony Blair
hadn’t effectively outlawed the crime of treason because this archaeology bloke
is definitely block and pike material! But still, if he will insist on living
in the past then he should suffer at the instruments of it! He reckons that
Britain should be free of ‘Political Correctness’, the EU and have its own
powers back!
God! We’ve only just had the psychotic Imperialist
racists neutered! Why should we return their teeth so they can bite the world
again?!
This man has concisely
summarised the European ‘Treaty’, a masterful document which liberates the
European Union and restores to it the powers needed to operate properly. The
‘People’ have had the emancipation for long enough and all it caused was war
and racism, so let’s transfer it upwards to the very organisation which really
knows what power’s all about. Which is what I want as much as you, so we’ve no
need for a referendum. Unfortunately, the full masterful prose is not
duplicated, so all we get is simplistic prosy instead. But still, if the Public
have a short attention span due to too many cheeseburgers, episodes of Jeremy
Kyle and 15 pints of lager every day………….
Read this twisted
interpretation and snort with self-righteous derision at how wrong he is: Rubbish pt.1,
Rubbish
pt. 2.
VOTE LABOUR – Because only if we all gang together
can we keep the nation living in the manner to which we want it accustomed!
FOR TROT’S SAKE, WHY DO PEOPLE PICK ON THE MUSLIMS?????????????????
Islamophobia is rampant in British society today. Just because a number of Islamic adherents think 9/11 was justified, call for Sharia law to be incorporated into British law, riot over cartoons, rant at Labour Home Secretarys, listen to so-called ‘rancourous’ speeches in mosques or refuse to touch your shopping when they’re working in Sainsbury’s doesn’t mean to say that they’re in any way a handful.
After all, I’ve had a few ‘bad hair days’ myself. Doubtless an example or two of my rarely seen rudeness has cropped up on this very website, but I don’t mind. I’m a straight kind of guy and I’ve got nothing to hide (although I would prefer any examples of arrogance or bull headedness on my part removed for image purposes). Can’t give anti-Labour ‘infidels’ any ammo for their pathetic pro-bigot attacks now, can we? Be reasonable.
Some people blame Islam itself, which they claim is a sadistic death cult with supremacist aims. But the Muslim Council Of Britain says it isn’t, which is all the proof I need. They are, after all, Labour Muslims which renders them above all petty denials. Another nice repository of facts which proves that Islam is fluffy after all is this.
So learn this well – regardless of what
it says in the Koran or Hadith or Sunnah, Islam is a Religion Of Peace. When
you’ve learned that and accepted your 7 year jail terms for thinking the wrong
thing can we move on to politely inquiring if countless scores of Muslims back
in Asia can think the same thing.
VOTE LABOUR!
After all, just believe in something hard enough and you’ll be happy!
PUT YOUR ‘TOO WHITE, TOO ENGLISH’ BIGOTRY
ASIDE FOR ONE MOMENT TO PLAY THE GAME OF
A brand new game which allows you to confront your deeply held value
system, re-evaluate its validity and eliminate its illegitimate points in an
inclusive and thought provoking manner. And who better than I to judge?!
(GUARANTEED TO OFFEND GRANNY,
which means it must be good. Otherwise we in the Left wouldn’t be doing our
jobs properly.)
Well, Public. Never let it be said that I, Johnathan Leftwinger, Labour MP and vanguard of all ethics pure and true cannot find time in my busy schedule to proctor the ordinary people. My word, they need it the most and so we in Labour cannot fail them. To act any different would be patronising!
But that doesn’t mean to say that changing the ethical outlook of those in the wrong can’t be fun. I don’t so much advocate punishment as help, which my 28 year record of public service can well testify. (I see myself not so much as your magnanimous leader who towers above but more as a friendly guardian who’s on your side, helping you to overcome your moral disabilities in a rational and calm manner. Well, both really. Velvet hand in the iron glove mate, that’s what makes me so strong.)
Anyway, this exciting and exploratory game
is a variation of the concept of the ‘drinking game’. Well, it would be if I
drank, which I don’t, because I don’t believe in any of the vices. Which I
suppose is why I’ve kept my purity. I don’t believe in drinking, nor smoking
(except if it’s pot; I’m reasonable that way). However, I do believe in rampant
sex. You’ve got to have rampant sex to make up for everything else, which is
why I’m such a firm advocate. Well, you know what I mean.
(Mind you, it has to be said at this point that I look with disdain upon the so-called ‘working classes’ when they see fit to participate in adult vices. They just don’t have the maturity and sense of irony to perpetuate such trendy Middle Class hobbies without catching diseases or becoming morally decadent. Which is why I have to hand out free contraceptives to young schoolchildren, plus leaflets to embarrassed teenagers, to even the balance. Their pathetic drive for personal pleasure is such a drain on Labour resources, it really is. And then WE get the blame for the immorality! It’s hypocritical, but at least I can show off my saintliness.)
However, to get back to the point rather than go off on another of your tangeants if you don’t mind. Rather than being a drunken lower-class drinking game, Enlightenment by Johnathan Leftwinger is a much higher caste of game; a Wanking Game. For 2 players.
In this special ‘parlour’ game which I play with some of my more open-minded compatriots, I go to bed and the others have to guess what I’m shaking about. And I hope you feel grown up enough to join in as I provide you with an example to ‘get you off’. Just consider the clues and choose the right candidate from my ‘packet of three’. Choose the right one and you win my blessings. But choose the wrong one and you gain my contempt (just like in real life when you pick the political values you follow in life).
(And by the way, to increase the scope, I won’t necessarily be shackled by the outdated limitations of mere heterosexuality; I wank over anything; I’m healthy.)
AS I GET TO BED, GET
READY TO PLAY MATE:
Clue: A
controversial figure this, as I’m not sure she’ll be keen to a subject of some
otherwise sordid sexual fantasy. But she’s a top Labour figure, she was in the
Cabinet and she resigned in protest over Gulf War II (which is why this one’s
so enjoyable). She’s also Short (clue!!!!!!!!!!!!) and not very attractive,
though she won’t mind me saying that because she doesn’t believe in the media’s
perceptions of what constitutes beauty and attractiveness. (Nor does she come
anywhere close to such a hetero’-chauvinistic view anyway, which just proves
her righteousness. Which is why she wanted Page 3 banned.)
SO DID I MASTURBATE OVER…
a) Tony Blair
b) Clare Short
c) Someone else?
If you have the answer, give me a ring at the constituency office. If you got it right then it’ll be your turn. SCIENTIFIC SEXUAL DISCOVERY REALLY IS SUCH FUN! As a result, I plan to foist it on the local primary school. Youth is no defence for ignorance you know, nor is being older, which is what I’ll tell the parents when I defy them. See what I mean about strength?
VOTE LABOUR! And don’t forget to attend the
Enlightenment Roadshow, filmed for Channel Four, on Hampstead Heath. My Special
Guest will be that other Labour MP who went up there. After all, he knows his
onions does Ron.
SPECIAL NOTE: The PC
and MAC versions of this game shall be released as soon as the local
university’s Equality Department gives them its seal of approval (How else will
you tell its quality?). The game will feature questions set by my own
homosexual probing team, plus realistic animation and sound effects!
GO-GO PARTY CONFERENCE 2007 MATE!
Yes, the
travelling fair of the proprietors of wisdom and justice has set up stall again
to parade its wares on the nation’s tellies! Yes, the educational experience of
the Labour Party Conference once again serves to enrich your brains in an orgy
of information and enlightenment. (And that’s just us being modest here! I
mean, if we in Labour were to boast the full extent of our prowess then you’d
think we were lying, we’re just that good!).
Of course
there’s been policy success after policy success under Labour. I admit that,
I’ve even come to terms with it. For example, our anti-racism campaigns have
even punished
innocent people they’re that good!
As you may
know, Labour Party Conference gives the nation a front-row view of how Labour
works for the best interests of the People (as long as they correlate with
ours). After all, we’re that good that both John Prescott and John Reid deserve
their £250 fees for speaking to the BBC about Conference itself. Pure Leftist
moral truths don’t come cheap, as the taxpayers can well appreciate.
They ought
to take school trips up to the Labour Conference you know. After all, we have
instilled a fantastic amount of Leftist ideology into our nation’s classrooms,
so why not let the children drink from the fountain of education’s source?!
Let’s take
a look at just a few wonderful Labour Party ideological showpieces which have been
proudly touted to a nation lucky to have us:
1)
TRUST LABOUR TO PUNISH THE DIRTY
DOCTORS!
So, Dr. Locum doesn’t want to wash
his hands, does he? Well, he’ll be a bit more careful if we lose him his bug-ridden
hospital for his bigotry! As Alan Johnson says, wards will be closed and
hospitals fined if they don’t clean up. About bloody time too! Labour can’t be
held responsible if all those cleaning contractors (and the system they run
under) can’t operate properly.
People
blame Labour for everything. As I said to the doctors at the hospital in my
constituency, you can hardly blame us for the shambles because I try my best to
keep away from the bug hutch they’ve got down there. I told them straight, I
said that if they’re too incompetent to make the hospital a bastion of hygiene
and efficiency thanks to the new changes then they deserved to suffer in poetic
justice. My little disciplinary got through to them because if looks could kill
mate! I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me; no, the ground should have
swallowed them actually, looking at me like that, HOW DARE THEY! The NHS is
Labour’s baby and so thus we know better than mere doctors how to run it! As
indeed we’ve proved.
2)
IT TAKES OPEN-MINDED RED-FACED
VISIONARIES TO SEE THE POTENTIAL IN THE UNTAPPED LABOUR POOL OF THE ‘CRIMINAL’
COMMUNITY!
Tessa Jowell’s done it again! No
wonder she’s my night time fantasy whenever my post-menstrual girlfriend
threatens to report me for wanting to ‘rape’ her after the candlelit meal, and
scented foam bath, I so lovingly prepare on her orders each night. Anyway,
Tessa said at a conference fringe meeting that young yobs have ‘formidable
entrepreneurial and leadership skills’.
Speaking of the gangs who terrorise
and even murder on the streets of her constituency, she said ‘I have spent a
lot of time talking to these young people in gangs and what is quite
heartbreaking is their ambitions are exactly the same as the kind of thing our
children want for themselves. They want careers, not jobs. They want to feel
safe, they want to have money so they can have a decent life. But at some point
in their life they have given up and felt nobody was on their side, nobody was
looking out for them’.
BUT WE IN
LABOUR LOOK OUT FOR THEM! RICH OR POOR, HONEST PERSON OR THIEF, EVERYONE MUST
HAVE THE SAME THANKS TO LEFTIES! We’re all the same underneath. After all, if
some Mr. Big has the brains to organise a campaign of vandalism or thuggery, or
to rob a shop, then he surely has the capability to run a legitimate business
concern under New Labour. But if the evil alliance of the Tories, BNP, Public
and Media are going to malign and vilify the felons (the hypocrisy), then of
course the so-called ne’er-do-wells are going to react against their
tormentors. They’re going to say “Hmmm, I don’t think I will set up that small
pottery firm I’ve always wanted since I ‘twokked’ my first motor, for the
investment capital, after all. I think I’ll brutalise and traumatise the Public
for not having faith in my potential!” And I can’t say I feel minded to
disagree with his harsh evaluation, forced upon him by a harsh society. VOTE LABOUR – Because both we and criminals
want what’s best for the nation!
3)
RECLAIM HISTORY FROM THE RACISTS BY TELLING
THE CHILDREN THAT THE MUSLIMS SAVED ‘US’ FROM THE SPANISH ARMADA, RATHER THAN
SIR FRANCIS DRAKE!
At another fringe meeting (the
fringes of justice it has to be said), Commission For Racial Equality boss
Trevor Phillips said that as the Ottoman Empire was threatening the Spanish in
the Mediterranean, they weakened the Armada by keeping a few ships back before
sending it to fight the English. He said that re-writing the history books to
reflect the disputed claim that Elizabeth I asked the Turks to threaten the
Spanish must be done to make them more ‘inclusive’ of other cultures.
I couldn’t
agree more! Contrary to the so-called ‘evidence’ (which can be interpreted in
any number of unhelpful ways), we must impress on the nation’s schoolchildren
that these facts speak for themselves: Thanks to the brave, strong Ottoman
Turks, the English Navy only had a skeleton force to ‘fight’. And that, my
friends, made the English bullies for not picking on someone their own size! As
usual. Let the White Pride Brigade chew on that one mate! So we must therefore
downplay or twist English history if it means Honky British man can love
potentially irritable Asian Muslim brother! Peace baby!
(I mean,
alright, the Armada still outnumbered the English Navy who won the battle due
to ‘superior’ tactics and craft. Also it’s said that no British record of the
event mentions an Islamic involvement. And OK, I suppose that the Ottoman
Empire didn’t play its supposed part by not attacking the Spanish fleet in any
manner at all in 1588. But it still has to be said that the weather also helped
the English. So Tch, letting the Spanish fleet be buffeted by the waves and
then claiming the damage was our work – typical bloody British con trick! No
wonder British history isn’t even worth our contempt!).
You see, Public – you can learn the facts of life thanks to
Labour! However, the fun was marred somewhat by yobs writing messages in the
sand outside the conference demanding a referendum on the EU Constitution. We
don’t care for that sort of graffiti in Labour, particularly when Gordon Brown
has done all our thinking for us by saying there’s no need for a referendum. To
compound that felony, protesting pensioners moaning about their vapourised
pensions due to collapsed retirement schemes were blocking the pavement
outside. THE PRIME MINISTER HAD TO POSTPONE HIS WALKABOUT THANKS TO THESE
INTIMIDATING OAP RANTERS! The old people, eh? Pensions are less important than
you think you know, save for those of us political persons of foresight who
retire early. Indeed, they’ve only got a few years left to go, hence their
belligerent attitude at the thought of imminent death. When will people learn?
At least we in Labour know
how to behave in the real world. Indeed, Gordon Brown quite wisely, quite
sagely, moved Labour to the Right in his speech in order to lure disaffected
Tory voters driven away from David Cameron’s pushing of the Tory Party to the
Left. I say sagely because do you honestly believe that we in Labour truly
advocate far-Right policies such as cracking down on crime and unchecked
unlimited open-door immigration? GET REAL! Still, it’ll only be too late when
the Right Wing loons realise they’ve been tricked into voting for the only
party doing right by the entire International Community as opposed to just a
few people in England. Which justifies that nicely in every single way.
Yes, the Conference was a
runaway triumph, what with a healthy balance of things being said to appease
the voters as well as things said which are just, true and fair. And it ended
on a triumphant sing-song as well, with a rousing rendition of the Red Flag.
Alright, we had Jerusalem to sing as well, but at least we looked damned
uncomfortable singing it, what with a lack of interest and knowledge of the
words. We do have appearances to think of you know.
We stand for the best in
Communist values – VOTE LABOUR!
Indeed, Lenin himself advocated the Labour Party (see the link provided in the
Wisdom Dispensary), not to mention the fact that so many of us have been
Communist Party members, or at least of anarchy groups sharing the same noble
ideals. So you need not worry about Labour failing to be the control freaks and
dogmatic instigators of radical change in every way, which we need as a nation.
NEVER MIND THE REVISIONISTS, COME ON IN, THE
LEFT IS LOVELY!
(Slogan by
Alice Walker, 8, who wins a big sloppy Labour kiss in gratitude for that
belter!)
TYPICAL TORY
REACHES OUT TO THOSE WHOSE VIEWS MUST ALWAYS BE MALIGNED AND DISTORTED!
(But still, the Tories did
used to like Hitler or something!)
Unbiased report by JOHNATHAN
LEFTWINGER
So, it looks as if the sacrifices made by Shilpa Shetty were for nothing. All my ranting has been in vain then as Tory woman Sayeeda Warsi has said that BNP voters must be heard on the subject of Immigration. To think I fancied her distinct and exciting non-Western body (in a non-sexist artistic fashion).
Lots of people say that more and more decent and buffeted folk have been supporting and voting for the British National Party since it reformed its stances and kicked out the hooligans. But I SAY NO! The fact is that ‘decent’ people have become Nazis by voting BNP and so they have automatically been ‘deleted’ from the collection of persons worth connecting with. That will teach them to oppose the status quo.
And so a top Tory even just calling for consultation with these evil suburbanite stormtroopers proves that the Conservative Party is still the Nasty Party. Well, it is if we in the Left say so, which just proves it. We’ve rarely been wrong as you know.
When I first read the reports (well, helped
distribute the facts to the media because I simply must be at the forefront of
knowledge and wisdom), I thought there was something not quite right. Why, I
thought, should an Islamic lady not even handicapped by being white, and who
used to work for Black Voice speaking out against the BNP in the strongest
possible terms, possibly wish to say things which make we Reds wish to spit
bile? It defies sense. You can’t support
people we don’t connect with. You mustn’t say things which we don’t like people
saying.
But then I thought Naaaah! WHY CAN’T THE PAPERS JUST TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT ‘BAG’ LADY WARSI??? Despite everything she’s ever done for Diversity purposes (which surely includes disenfranchising the majority whites who get underfoot), she’s a racist fascist who would just love to kiss Nick Griffin under the mistletoe at the Neo-Nazis’Christmas Party (which she would no doubt ask for Jesus to be represented at)! And so’s anybody else who doesn’t say the BNP are still what they were a decade ago. Only WE can change, remember that.
I blame Society you know. If the Public didn’t warm to BNP and Tory extremists then those two horrific organisations would have been despatched to the disgraceful pages of British History long ago. As if the so-called ‘dregs’ of the world after a free house in Britain don’t have enough to worry about as it is, like having to get a job if they can be bothered. We may have ‘betrayed’ the British, but there’s no need for them to be so childish to do likewise to us!
VOTE
LABOUR – For no matter how much the Tory leadership wishes to appease our new
Values, they shall still be watered-down pro-British gas chamber operatives!
And you can’t have extremisim in a political party, as we Enlightened Persons
so aptly prove in everything we do!
AT LAST SOME COMMON SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The militaristic phalluses
who call themselves The Red Arrows have been told that their air displays are not
required at the 2012 Olympic Games. The airbourne whites may offend ‘foreign’
nationals with their extroverted jingoistic acrobatics.
Because there is such a
thing as being too British you know. Holding WI jumble sales or being a member
of the National Front are just two examples of the pollutant of national pride
destroying the identity and makeup of the International Village. It’s all
common sense you know.
After all, if some Bulgarian
feels put out by English white pride then, well, British Culture’s just going
to have to be discontinued for all our sakes. Foreigners are more important
than us now, as our dogma conclusively proves. Get 2007 mate!
Far too macho these British
people. Bit too MAYHEM ON THE TERRACES, THESE DAMN BIGHEADS! Last thing we need
is machismo, except from women, which is why we in New Labour scream in the
face of danger in this brave new world. It’s the New Bravery. And anyway, all
that coloured smoke these eco-psychos insist on pumping from their planes can
only do harm to Mother Earth. Our very own natural parent, a successful Single
Mother, doesn’t require this kind of abuse from the non-Enlightened Community.
And for all those angry at
this decision to dilute the world of fascism, I say GROW UP! You could be
whingeing about the plight of the Third World or that the £1 Million a month
child benefit which eastern European migrants send back home isn’t nearly
enough. But no! You’d rather complain about loss of British sovereignty,
identity and population! And those pro-British pilots then have the temerity to
call themselves Red! This is far too babyish!
So if you disagree with all
this, in the face of REAL Redness on the part of the Olympic committee, you
must be as brain dead as Welsh!!!!!!!!!!
SO KEEP BACKING LABOUR (OBVIOUSLY), KEEP BACKING THE WISE OLYMPIC
ORGANISERS AND KEEP THE FLAG BURNING FOR THE RIGHTS OF EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU! THAT’S BEING TRULY BRITISH!
PS –
Perhaps it’s a good idea after all to outrage the white bigots, because the
more angry petitions are drawn up in protest, like this evil piece of work, then the more
confirmed revisionists we can have noted down! After all, with only about half
the DNA on Labour’s national database from actual real criminals, then at least
we can finally punish everybody in society instead of just some! Just as we do
with the civil servants we sack just for holding the wrong political opinions!
Go Go Equality mate!
LEFTWINGER:
AN APOLOGY
I, Johnathan Attlee Lansbury Leftwinger, shining light of the Labour Movement, Defender of Faiths (especially of downtrodden Islam), both servant and leader of the People (except bigots), do humbly and sincerely apologise for my absence of late. I know I have let a great many people down by not being here to guide them through life this past month, as well as disappointing the historians, social commentators and students of the Human Condition who should usually flock to these enlightening pages. I can only offer my condolences to all those who have felt loss and a lack of purpose without I, I, to hold your hands. You should expect that from a Labour person as standard.
But if truth be told I’ve been on holiday. I didn’t go to the Costa Brava or anywhere else you find British people (and they complain about foreigners here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), I stayed and toured the English countryside. The Green Belt land is very beautiful and stands as the very best of British. The very trees, hills and valleys stand as natural testament to what is still great about so-called ‘Britain’. Pity it all has to come down really, but never mind. Worse things happen at sea.
We’ve got 3 million new houses to build in 20 years to accommodate the soaring population! You don’t think a few trees are going to stop us?! It takes more than a bit of wood to stop Labour when we’ve got the bit between our teeth!! I mean, alright, the Johnathan Leftwinger of the 1970s and 1980s would have become hysterically angry at the countryside being discontinued, but his wisdom (which he passed on to me today) will have seen the bigger picture and we would have ended up shaking hands and maybe even kissing. (I’m not homophobic, I’m quite reasonable actually. See my humility.)
I mean, come on Public, get with the programme. Only 8% of Britain is urban according to some people, meaning there are plenty of old fields which can be built on. As this Times woman says, get building Brown! It’s only a lot of old grass anyway! And with house prices soaring, it’s time for all the non-productive bits to be put to use. It’s just New Labour common sense, more valuable than money as it can make people richer the more it’s shared.
And it’s not just the randy British to blame for the selfish surge in population (even though the death rate continues to exceed the births). We’ve got the population of the world to worry about as well! Two thirds of those new houses will be needed to house all the new immigrants and descendents of immigrants! Their care doesn’t stop at the quay or airport, as well you know!
BRITAIN IS FULL? RUBBISH!!!!! As even my hero David ‘No Upper Limit’ Blunkett knows, you can fit everyone in the world onto the Isle of Wight, and they can fit a fair few into China as well. So why not let those who happened to be born foreign have a chance to sup from the British cup as well? IT’S ONLY MONEY! Not even ours anyway, so that means it’s free. Stands to reason.
VOTE LABOUR! Everyone should get a fair share,
regardless of who or what pays for it!
________________________________
YOUR SAY:
“Labour, I
bet you’ll still refuse to build more prisons, even though the extra 10 million+
extra people expected to live in those houses alone are bound to have criminals
amongst them”.
OUR SAY:
“None planned,
none getting built. Case Closed. The trouble with people like you is that you
don’t take No for an answer. Anyway, one more criminal is merely one more
person to help and empathise with, ONE MORE OPPORTUNITY TO GUIDE AND CO-OPERATE
WITH! Not one more to be locked up like a beast in a cage. How will he learn
from that???!!!
And besides, the very fact that criminals mingle with
the Public just shows what kind of disgusting company you keep. Deal with your
own problems and leave Labour to ours.”
VOTE LABOUR – We don’t need to consult you because we
have all the answers anyway. Waste of effort. Get informed!
LABOUR KEEPS
YOU UP TO SPEED!
Oh Public Public! You are like soooo forgetful! Despite
the horrendous Tory crimes committed since, like, all the time and everywhere
they ruled, you Public still vote Conservative in local elections! (I mean,
alright, the leadership bends ever Leftwards (highly noble and commendable) but
they’re the same old Thatcher-kissers underneath!).
But never fear! The Labour
website says…
It is easy to forget what Britain was like in 1997 - the NHS on its
knees, schools crumbling, crime doubled and millions of families still scarred
by unemployment over three million……
Well! We’ve kept a little of that kind of failure
permanently preserved for all to see to remind us all of just how terrible
Conservative rule really is!
You should thank us for keeping your little minds
refreshed instead of lambasting us all the time. I don’t understand you, I
really don’t!
VOTE
LABOUR!
ONCE AGAIN THE
LABOUR PARTY HAS WISELY AND JUSTLY SOLVED ANOTHER SOCIAL PROBLEM; ONCE AGAIN
THE SLOW-WITTED PUBLIC-MEDIA ALLIANCE CAN’T SEE THE TRUTH FOR THE
TREES!!!!!!!!!!
Any rational person can tell
you (even a RETARDED INFANT can!!!!!) that Labour is winning the war on crime!
And so, in the light of that, it’s truly baffling how so many constituents say
that ‘real life’ refutes such a claim. But I say that ‘real life’ can be
interpreted in any number of ways, hence the perceptions of the BNP!
The latest delusion on the Public’s part in regards to so-called
Labour ‘shambles’ is that detained
criminals are clogging up the judicial system prior to their trials.
Well, if that’s the best
broadside the Public and Media can fire then I have to say they’ve at last lost
their marbles and become senile! And it gives me no pleasure to say that, it really
doesn’t.
The truth is that nobody
knows when they’re better off under Labour any more because they’ve
blinkeredly trained themselves to believe that Labour fail in all we
perpetuate!
A faultlessly drawn and
unsurpassingly witty satire of the whole situation. How do I know? Because it was I, Johnathan Leftwinger, who drew it!
(Click to
enlarge)
Listen, and listen good: This
journalistic scaremongering only serves a secret global businessman agenda to
undermine confidence in Labour at this most trying time for us (as usual).
Employing some lateral thinking (a concept Labourites take to like a duck to
water) just proves that Labour has NEVER neglected the criminal justice system
to such an extent as to cause a farcical backlog. Nor, indeed, do we
penny-pinch in the light of it. My
brain’s emulation of authentic sane logic is both conformation of, and second
opinion to, these cast-iron truths mate, thus solving all debate!
THE NAKED FACT IS THAT THIS SO-CALLED ‘OVERLOAD’ OF CRIMINALS
SENDING THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM INTO SO-CALLED ‘MELTDOWN’ MERELY ILLUSTRATES THE
RUNAWAY SUCCESS OF THE LABOUR PARTY! TOUGH
ON CRIME AND TOUGH ON THE CAUSES OF CRIME MATE!
The reason the system can’t cope any more only goes to show
that Labour policies have led to the substantial increase of criminal
convictions! More banged-up villains = more work for judges and juries and wigs
and things! GET USED TO IT! I mean, such victories in the field of ‘clean
up’ rates eclipse the doom mongers who say that Labour’s refusal to expand the
system in reaction to the increased number of criminals is responsible for the
‘chaos’! YEA, RIGHT, AS IF!!!!!!!
And as such, under Labour, there can only be fewer criminals on
the streets; fewer yobs, fewer muggers, fewer burglars, fewer rapists. SUCH
LOGIC STANDS TO REASON! Not like under the Tories when even during their
so-called ‘golden age’ the judicial system remained scandalously unjammed!!!! I
mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find that Mrs. Thatcher’s judges would
have spent half of each working day sat in the toilet, doing the Times
crossword, due to a lack of criminals to sentence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an
indictment of a lacklustre political regime!
And so now you in the Public can be grateful to the Labour Party,
particularly as you realise that I’ve put the issue into perspective!
VOTE LABOUR – because we renounce the Devil and all his works.. GOT THAT
MRS. THATCHER???!!!!
“IF EVEN TORY BERKS CAN MOVE
UP IN THE WORLD, WHY AM I STILL LANGUISHING ON THE BACKBENCHES DESPITE MY
ADMIRABLE RECORD OF RADICAL VISION???!”
“I’m not bitter of course”,
says our noble spiritual political prophet, “I’m just posing a perfectly
neutral question.”
EXCLUSIVE by Johnathan Leftwinger
It’s alright for some, isn’t it
Public! Despite being a Parliamentary green (and not in the eco-warrior like me
sense either), there for only two years, Reading East MP Rob
Wilson has been promoted to the shadow Cabinet.
Although the Tory shadow Cabinet is
just a talking shop for flood avoiders, losers and racists and old people, it’s
certainly an insult to see a much younger man overtake me for promotion. AND
HE’S IN A TOWN OTHERWISE UNDER THE BENEVOLENT RULE AND GUIDANCE OF LABOUR! The
bloody leech!
To put it into just perspective,
I’VE BEEN A LABOUR BACKBENCH MP SINCE THE 1970s; AND DESPITE MY YEARS OF
UNTIRING SERVICE NOBODY HAS ASKED ME
TO JOIN THE CABINET – SHADOW OR OTHERWISE! It’s a scandal mate, more so when
you consider that the press haven’t made mention of it at all, regardless of
the fact I’m always ringing all the editors to remind them.
And it’s not as if I merely presided
either. The town has seen, under a JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER administration…
…RANTING going up by 75%, GETTING
THE WRONG END OF THE STICK AND BEATING ABOUT THE BUSH WITH IT has risen by
an amazing 92%, HECTORING OF OFFICIALS
AND ORDINARY PEOPLE DARING TO CHALLENGE THE ISSUES has maintained a steady
growth of 4.2% a year for the period 1993 -07 (TWICE the rate of when we had
the last Labour bloke here), CHERRY-PICKING
FACTS AND FIGURES AND PRESENTING POLICIES TAKING NOTICE OF ONLY THESE TO THE
PUBLIC AS A FAIT-ACCOMPLI, REGARDLESS OF THE RESULTS OF SURVEYS AND
ACTUAL-CONDITION DUMMY RUNS has maintained the admirable peak of 69% gained
in 2003, not to mention the 40% rise in the popular policies of BALLOT RIGGING, GERRYMANDERING and PRIVATE
SUNDRY ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES.
I could go on! All that success and
I’m STILL not in a top job! I bet Rob Wilson hasn’t got my years of accrued
skills mate! (I mean, alright, Conservatives need only be ignorant and lacking
in direction to qualify for a Cabinet post; but
for all that he’s still got one and I haven’t!!!).
We can only speculate, especially me, as to why
I’ve been callously rejected again. But I bet it’s jealousy on the part
of the Prime Minister. If so, I pity him, I really do!
IF ONLY OLD GORDON DIDN’T SEE MY BRILLIANCE AND
POLITICAL GENIUS AS A SERIOUS RIVAL TO HIS OWN TALENTS, AS WELL AS A THREAT TO
HIS POSITION, THEN NEW LABOUR REALLY COULD INDEED THRUST FORWARD INTO THE 21st
CENTURY’S SECOND DECADE! WHAT WITH ME BEING A TRULY GUIDING LIGHT AS HOME
SECRETARY OR SOMETHING MATE!
Slogan for the week: SMASH MARGARET HODGE, NO LEFTIST OF OURS! JOIN THE NAZIS YOU GINGER!
All
hail Reformer Johnathan as he embarks on his
GREAT SHAKE-UP MATE!
The Chief Whip last week discovered ‘damning’ documentary evidence of my alleged ‘abuse’ of a 3 year old child in my car when I leant it to him. He must have cut open the roof lining himself. Some people. And this disgusting example of an invasion of an MP’s privacy has led me to stand up for myself at long last.
So I barged into his office, threw out the person sharing a meeting with him and drew myself up to my full height. Apopleptic, the Chief Whip demanded an explanation. But this time I was ready to show my authority.
“How dare you address a premier backbench Labour MP in such a fashion!” I exclaimed. “Without us there’s no you”, I followed on, pushing the Chief Whip back into his chair. He could only splutter that my behaviour could earn me many punishments, including de-selection or being barred from Parliamentary participation. But I knew that this was all bluff because I’m far too big a luminary to punish, even though he’d done it all before on many occasions.
“Me and my backbench colleagues have been talking and planning. Planning a rebellion, a concept usually alien to Labour MPs as well you know. But plan we have in the face of unwarranted leadership pressure to make us so-called behave.”
“Because this Private Members Bill vote in favour of MPs being exempt from exposure from outside independent enquiry went so well, we in Labour have got another one. And our plan’s to demolish you mate!”
He wasn’t in an open-minded mood, what with the red raging face and the veins on the temple. He’s too angry, that’s his trouble. He’ll have a heart attack if he’s not too careful.
“What we ought to do mate”, I continued, putting my arm around him to emphasise the point, “is amend and expand (ie – tear up and rewrite from scratch) Mr. Prescott’s plan for English regional assemblies. What we ought to do is quadruple the number of constituencies as well as the councils. That means more MPs, MPs elected by more accountable councillors in greater contact with the voters. That means I’ll be more popular because I’m Johnathan Leftwinger. I’ll have a greater powerbase so the Public can do as they’re told.”
Sounds good, eh, readers?!
“Plus, the constituency party, and you, shall have less control over us gallant and honourable backbench Rebellion-ites (my word)! This means we can have true democracy by having a greater number of backbench Labour persons ready to take on the dictatorship of Prime Ministerial and Cabinet policy strategies.”
“Just
imagine”, I emphasised, “the great battles over foxhunting or Iraq extrapolated
tenfold!” That will show the nation
what true, unfettered and pure Labour governance is all about! Tails will wag
the dogs mate! Power To The People (via backbench Labour MPs)! We are the wisest after all.
The Chief Whip just looked at me, expressionless. “I see”, he said calmly. “Hmmmmm. Interesting and different.” I knew I was in trouble, despite my waterproof plan, a plan backed by the Labour back-bench, the back-bone of Britain. And we can grind the nation to a halt again if we have to!
“Now think carefully before you reply” I said. We can quite justifiably take ten years to bring this about if we have to. Nothing will get done, no more than usual.”
But the Chief Whip threw my arm away enigmatically. He rose. He spoke. Firmly.
“Johnathan.” I gulped.
“You do know that the constituency party is the only organisation that has anything good to say about you. And the Public have zero faith in you, only voting Labour because they either vote Labour through habit or have trouble speaking English, and so have our activists help them fill out the postal vote forms!”
“And you do know that we have gangs of moody dogmatic students just waiting for Labour to further flood our ranks with them. And believe me, it will be a lot quicker to train them to be your replacements than it will take for your ‘reforms’ to go through. Especially if I have the whip withdrawn from you and your co-conspiritors and have you kicked out of the Parliamentary party. I can stall your careers, just you wait.”
This I hadn’t forseen. Well I knew it, but I didn’t want the facts to sully an otherwise insightful and wise plan to help the innocent men, women and children govern themselves with greater confidence. I am Labour, after all.
“This is blackmail” I could only splutter. “Labour has always been the party of usurption and change.” - “But not when you’re actually in charge at last”, stormed the Chief Whip.
“And I’ve only overlooked so many of your misdemeanours because even you’re the pick of the crop lately.” This hurt.
Well I suppose the plan was only a prototype really. And the fact that my cosy chat with the top Labour disciplinarian only helped to illuminate points which inevitably lead to closer re-examination, or even retraction in the face of hypothetical practice, just shows how reasonable we are on the Labour backbench. And we proved it once more by our willingness to pay for the Chief Whip’s lunches, clubs, petrol and bank loans as long as we can all let bygones be bygones.
VOTE LABOUR – We know government mate!
JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER MP airs his brain
****************
**EXCITING NEWS** for those of a Red hue.
****************
"Next week sees my new programme for Channel Four, a documentary in which
I go undercover to infiltrate the mass ranks of the bigoted British public.
"I was shocked to be faced at such close quarters by such extremists who
now pose as decent respectable people. In the pub 'Ian' age 37 and 'Roger' age
29 regaled me with their hair-raising views about how taxes are too high,
public services being in disarray and that the criminal justice system is
perceived to be more interested in punishing ordinary people instead of crooks.
"I also expose shock confessions which include sick stunts of painting
over the lenses of overcharging speed cameras, dressing up as superheroes to
heckle Left Wingers and attending the disgusting pro-hunt protest in London a
few years back.
"But what will stun all decent people the most is the vociferous gutter
politics. The Public seem to run under the main policy tickets of renouncing
the wise and benevolent EU, showing utter contempt for sovereign Labour affairs
beyond their understanding, wanting to halt the 'asylum flood' and wanting the
bins emptied. (Hope Not Hate's all they need mate!)
"I have sent a dossier to the police based on the programme's revelations
of anti-Labour hatred and racism. I shall also hector the Government in a
boisterous manner to get them to release a paper confirming the Public as a
whole of being Institutionally Racist, as with the McPherson report. First step
to punishments and rehab' there.
"So watch the programme to be educated and enlightened, as well as
frightened of the black threat in our midst. Can't have these horrors in
power!"
VOTE LABOUR!
LUCK BE A LABOUR!
With Johnathan Leftwinger
My post-menstrual girlfriend, on
whose inspiration I’ve been campaigning for blunt ‘safety knives’ to be sold
instead of real ones, has dropped me in it again! (Or, rather, she laid another
skiful trap to expose my manly bigotry once again. For which I applaud her,
obviously.)
She asked me if her bottom looked
fat in her favourite jeans. I told her yes, an honest answer. She gave me a ‘Prescott’.
Of course, being Labour led me to believe that she would appreciate a truthful
and straightforward response. Just like any other normal person would assume,
really.
Still, I deserved it. Once again, being the testosterone freak
that I am, I became fixated on the old stereotypical perceptions of my type –
in other words, I looked upon her as a sexual object and therefore became
trapped inside my own psycho-social cultural bubble, thus dragging me
unwillingly to the inevitable conclusion of basing my response on an outdated
concept, using as its foundation a peno-fascistic standard of ‘fit’ and ‘unfit’
women. What I should have said was no, bearing in mind that her bottom was
unique to her own shape, therefore uncategorisable.
And my black eye’s the punishment. And it fitted the crime.
______________________________________________________________
PS – And she’s had another good idea you know. As ‘facilitator’ of the constituency party’s Women’s Rights office, she’s decided to re-brand the sexes in line with 21st Century thinking! Instead of the divisive concept of Men and Women, which is patronising to either sex and insulting to hermaphrodites and transvestites, it’s time we were all considered equal entities. NOW THAT’S EQUALITY! (But obviously, since women go through the pain and trauma of childbirth and hormonal things whilst all we do is watch the football, drink beer and cheat with bimbos, woman shall of course receive suitable social recompense for such a shameful imbalance of burdens. Can’t get much fairer than that!)
One benefit of the new policy is that the New Labour Unisex Lavatory has been demolished and replaced with individual conveniences, one labelled ‘Penis Compartment’, the other ‘Vagina Compartment’ (with illustrations for the non-English reader). THAT’S THE SOCIAL POWER OF LEFTWINGINESS! And I won’t apologise for the language either – WE IN THE LEFT MUST GUARD FREE SPEECH!
Still, to suit the conservative squares there shall still be some kind of social distinctions in society. From now on, thanks to Labour, there shall be the divide between BIGOTS and the ENLIGHTENED. And we Reds shall have exclusive monopoly of defining the criteria of those terms. I mean, leave it to the Public and all you’ll get is confusion and branding of the wrong people!
“DO YA
WANNA BE IN MY GANG, MY GANG, MY GANG MATE?!”
-
That’s what
misunderstood and much maligned sexual visionary Gary Glitter once sang. And
it’s apt to describe Labour. In yet another Prime Ministerial TRIUMPH to rank
alongside the EU referendum refusal, Gordon Brown has shown himself up to be a
top Leftist once again by politicising
the Civil Service more than ever.
-
- Let us all sing with pride and pomp as our governmental functionaries are at last able to join in the ceremonies of divine redemption just like anybody else. We don’t want mere robots, that’s not the Lefty way, but those who can carry out our policies and believe in them all BODY AND SOUL.
After all, it’s not too much to ask. In this age of ultra-cynicism,
particularly towards Labour, what we need more than ever are administrators who
can look at any policy and say, in all neutrality, “What a good job we’ve now
been endowed with the wisdom and the relevant moral codes to allow us to view,
with tremendous clarity, the prime manner necessary to see any Labour policy as
the apt way to cure Britain’s ills.”
For too long have Labour been put under undue stress caused by both Public and Civil Service’s habits of being unable to perceive the TRUE beneficial record of Labour tenure!
AND MR. BROWN’S BENEVOLENT
POLICY, ACTING AS IT WILL TO BOOST THE SOCIAL LIVES OF OUR MUCH VALUED
‘PEN-PUSHERS’, WILL ALSO CURE THEM OF
BEING CORRUPTED BY TORIES SHOULD THE PUBLIC SWEEP THEM IN IN A BRUTAL ACT OF
GENERAL ELECTION SAVAGERY! IT’S WIN-WIN! STOP RESISTING THE STRONGEST MORAL
FORCE AND VOTE LABOUR!!!!!
GOOD GOOD NEWS!
We in Labour have long since given up reading the
libel and the slander which passes as news these days. That’s why we only
listen to whatever it is we say these days, friendlier as it all is to the
concept of right and wrong!
Indeed, let me urge you all to TAKE A BUTCHERS AT LABOUR SUCCESS AT ITS
VERY FINEST BEST! We’ve worked ever so hard recently for this public places
smoking ban, this step being only the latest actually, so I think I can say
that we truly deserve some proper credit
at long last for our good and
tireless work!
THERE. MUCH
BETTER READING THAN HAVING TO PLOUGH THROUGH THE DAILY LIES, WITH THEIR ACCOUNTS OF ALL THE SO-CALLED ‘SCANDALS’
WE’RE SO-CALLED ‘RESPONSIBLE’ FOR! GET YOUR BLINKERS OFF! VOTE LABOUR!!
WELL MATE. I shall be setting up the new
taxpayer-funded JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER FEMALE SEX OFFENDERS DROP-IN CENTRE. In my
bedroom.
You see the thing is, Public, I have been
very inspired by neo-Left New-Age initiatives such as the ‘needle exchange’ for
drug addicts, whereby new points are freely available to avoid contamination
when shooting up. I’ve merely tried to apply this wise and noble concept into a
different area of basic human want.
I’ll try to wean these poor unfortunate
women, merely victims of society, back onto more conventional forms of sexual
practice. And if it involves using my own body for that purpose, then I suppose
I’ll have to make the sacrifice mate! In the common interest! In a purely
non-sexist way, obviously.
No doubt bigots
will oppose the general integration of sex ‘criminals’ into society. But people
like the Public and opposition political parties do have a devisive influence
after all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (But I,
being pure Labour, offer HOPE NOT HATE! KEEP YER PECKERS UP PAEDOS!
I’M-A-COMIN’!)
You shall all support me of course. Or do you not want sex offenders taken off
the streets?! That shook you. So take a look at this catalogue of potential patrons to
observe the valuable work I hope to undertake for the public good.
(And if it helps get my rusty old motor
turning again it’d definitely be winners all round! Can’t you see?!)
Would YOU want to do it? No!
VOTE
LABOUR, so you don’t have to!
Why
oh why is the word ‘righteousness’ called ‘righteousness’?
Bearing in mind we have the greatest moral monopoly on
the word, surely it should be re-branded as LEFTEOUSNESS? Or, better yet, THE PEOPLES’
LEFTEOUSNESS? A STRAIGHT KIND OF GUY, EDUCATION EDUCATION AND EDUCATION
LEFTEOUSNESS?!
Discuss. (The teacher will herd
you to the right conclusion, so don’t think too far away from our guidelines
otherwise you may turn into another bigot!)
Next week: 4-7 year olds exposed to gay iconography. What could be more
healthy than that?!!
__________________________________________________
_____
AN
OUT-TAKE FROM THE SCRIPT OF THE LATEST LABOUR PARTY POLITICAL BROADCAST, presented
by JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER, MP for Asylum East.
__________________________________________________ _____
We told the Public didn't we. Did we not tell them?
Now they're going to be punished for their wrongitude mate! We TOLD them not to
put out so much rubbish for the dustmen. We PROCTORED their behaviour in waste
management. We gave them CHANCE AFTER CHANCE to save Mother Earth from being
overwhelmed with refuse, but no. They had to be stubborn. They had to buck
Labour, and in turn the entire foundation of Universal Righteousness and good
old Common Sense in general. And now they're having the smirks wiped off their
bling-covered brows! And serves them right mate.
We on the Left side of the spectrum have been in touch with good core humble
grassroots community values ever since we were established when Jesus Christ
came down to Earth to moderate in the face of his brutally Rightist genocidal
maniac of a father! (Well, he would have done had Christianity been real and
not a con trick to fool gullible non-scientific peasants. And it would have
meant that Islam would be worthless too if Christianity was real! Get a sense
of perspective you doddering, closed-minded Womens Institute Harvest Festival
groupies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get 21st Century you backwards looking
bourgeois-fascists!!!!!!!)
And now, to get back to the point instead of enriching your brain with
religious truths (I don't know why you brought it up really), it's time to
announce our new policy: The NEW LABOUR 'PUNISH THE PUBLIC' PART MMCXII BIN INITIATIVE
MATE. You're going to have to throw less out. I don't care how you do it
(except if you leave it, burn it, bury it, dump it or take it to the tip), just
sort your own problems out. We in Labour have enough to do already without you
wanting us to dispose of your smelly refuse.
We're proud people. We can't stoop to the level of skivvies now can we? And if
having microchips and you having to pay over and over again (with fines on top)
for essentially the same service then so be it son.
Look, instead of whining, you should look at the oppertunities our policies
will harbinge. WE IN LABOUR HAVE HAD THE WISDOM AND THE FORESIGHT TO JACK UP
LANDFILL RENTAL CHARGES. 'Bad News' you'd say. Alright, this means many
councils have been forced to cut rubbish collection in half as well as the fact
that you'll be fined if you throw out too much refuse. HOWEVER, this means you
can start recycling with a grim determination to avoid financial penalty.
I recycled MY rubbish (well, conducted experiments with a few washed-out
margerine tubs and lemonade bottles before they went to the SHAGGY HIPPY
SUNFLOWER INCINERATOR UNIT), and it's done me no harm at all. For example, I
covered the Utterly Butterly tub with emulsion paint to create a
environmentally friendly lovely soap dish for my mother's birthday present! And
that's not to mention feeding the food scraps to the new animals living around
the houses of the constituents. (I told you the Public were dirty if they live
amongst rats! Labour policies only highlighted this, not created it!)
And you're saving the Earth. Carrot and stick, mate. And we always get driven
to using the stick in Labour. One of these days, Public, we and you will have a
very serious falling out. On all the issues which matter, including cars and
taxes, you've done nothing but whine and moan. And we're not going to treat you
with much respect back if all you're going to do is spit bile at us pure
Lefties trying to save you from yourselves.
SO VOTE LABOUR - all these spy cameras, stealth taxes and having no money left
over for essential services after paying for all our whims will be well worth
it when our work is complete, just see 
(But I bet
you'll just spite us by epedemic fly-dumping like they do in Northern Ireland!
Peasants.)
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
CLIMB IN THE
BACK WITH YOUR HEAD IN THE CLOUDS AND VOTE LABOUR! (as the
Maestro once sang).
EPILOGUE:
The impasse between Labour and the ignorants has become so fractious that a
special address by Johnathan Leftwinger to his contituents was drafted the first
day he became MP (Now THAT's what I call foresight!):
Dear Traditional British People,
Although we have come through so much together, I think it time we seperated
our allegiances.
Bloody hell, I didn't expect much from you, just a bit of peace and quiet to
let me get on with it, but your bigotry and intransigence stunned even me. I
thought you were at least a bit intelligent (well you did vote Labour), but how
wrong I was.
We've got nothing in common. You want a sterile NHS full of bandages and sour
matrons and I want an NHS of Viagra and Modern Art to bring things in line with
21st Century thinking. I wanted to ban fox hunting, but no, all you wanted me
to do was pander to your Europhobia and desires of wanting uniformed fascists
roaming the streets arresting innocent criminals (whose only real crimes are
caring too much). We just can't agree. I want what's right and you don't, and
this is killing us.
We've drifted apart. YOU'RE SO UNREASONABLE! I don't think I want to be
associated with you any more.
I don't want to do this. After all, I didn't expect the honeymoon to end so
soon. You don't like how I run the place, spend your money and you also bitch
about not being master of your own destiny any more! And you resent being
punished when you keep putting your feet wrong as well. YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO
LIVE WITH!!!!!!
And you don't like the people I bring home, no matter how many! They can't ALL
put you out! You're just too possessive, that's your trouble!
Of course, I shall demand maintenance (ie - your continuing mandate at election
time). It's only reasonable you give me what I'm owed.
It's not really anything personal this crunch thing, I only want what's best!
After all, my new brown friends with stern faces and dressed in their Wee
Willie Winkie outfits give me everything I need from a public now.
I hope you understand. And PS - if we can't have you, nobody else should.
Fair's fair after all.
LOVE YOU AND VOTE LABOUR!
JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER
MP on the David Frost programme:
"The NHS is Labour's baby, and we've grown up together. We've bonded
through good times and bad, never insulting each other and being there for each
other.
Which is why we know how to run it and the Tory Nazis know how to wreck it.
Indeed, all this fuss about so-called waiting lists and cuts and overworked
staff is just a wollo the wasp mate.
Indeed, I inspected my local hospital and found the NHS modern art department,
Gay and Lesbian Self Righteous Whining Clinic and the Viagra dispensary were
all fully equipped with well paid staff and short waiting lists.
If only the bunglers of the Accident And Emergency, Maternity or Heart
Transplant departments could be as professional instead of letting themselves
fall into a state of shambles then blaming blameless Labour.
Underpaid? GET A SATURDAY JOB IN A SHOE SHOP LIKE I USED TO! Too tired? GET
SOME BLOODY SLEEP MATE! You can't blame me or anyone else in Labour because we
have as little to do with the place as possible! Stop roilling in your own
filth and pull yourselves together!
Trouble is they don’t know how lucky they are in the big picture. When I
told them that we in Labour may show our generosity by closing the place,
thereby eliminating the entire debate at a stroke, they went absolutely
ballistic! No pleasing some people."
VOTE LABOUR - We're hard but fair!
NEVER MIND ISLAMIC EXTREMISM OR THE EU,
LET’S OPPOSE THE GENUINE THING TO BE
TACKLED:
Racism!
The Islamic extremists, despite their so-called
‘numerous’ activities in trying to destroy Britain (an attitude we can actually
empathise with really), are just reacting to centuries of persecution from the
rest of the world. And the European Union, though unrequested by public
mandate, actually serves our political, moral and cultural good. That’s beyond
argument.
But what cannot be argued away is the xenophobia of the white British people. Britain is changing but they can’t handle it, latching onto far-Right parties as they do just because they ‘don’t want to be displaced by the effects of unlimited open-door immigration’. Pfft!
They should get educated. Topical encyclopaedias, such as the Daily Record, set matters straight. The British public can’t stand living amongst foreigners, EVEN THOUGH WE WERE THE FOREIGNERS DURING THE IMPERIAL DAYS! Can’t answer that, can they? And then they have the cheek to claim to be in the right!!!!!
No wonder we in the Left spend all our time battling racism! If the
British Public weren’t so prejudiced then we wouldn’t have to!!! Look at it,
any old excuse to prevent those escaping dictatorship and torture from finding
a haven!
This splendid expose deliciously whips the rug out from every pathetic argument against immigration the Public put up! No wonder they can only find the likes of the BNP to sing from their song sheets!
Joan Burnie pummels and pounds, hitting home each and every time: POW! – The first broadside is fired when she says we are ALL immigrants. Alright, Britain was empty when the first settlers arrived, but they still count as immigrants. Therefore, it’s a CIVIC identity is being British, no such thing as culture! That’s why similar European ancestors are the same as those from China or Africa! Just because your new neighbours dress funny and look at you strange, don’t speak English or have any idea of British or European history as recent as the 1990s, doesn’t mean they’re not as British as anyone tracing their history back the Saxons! (And anyway, who needs history? People have their right not to learn it and we have our right not to provide it! It’s all dusty old relics of a rose-tinted view of the past anyway!)
Then BAM! – Rapid fire of enlightenment continues as she exposes Public hypocrisy over employment. The Public like to say things like if successive Tory and Labour governments hadn’t wrecked the educational standards and employment structures of Britain then cheap foreigners wouldn’t have a better education than them or be filling up the underpaid menial tasks. But that’s the Public – they’d rather live a life of luxurious laziness and then blame the rest of the world for invading their pure pure England, just for wanting to get their work done for them! Scum.
Luckily, she then goes on to point out that we (ie- they) can be saved by inter-mixing with these culturally and ethically unprejudiced Internationals. IT GOES DEEPER THAN JUST RE-EDUCATION OF THE STUBBORN OIKS, THAT’S WHAT WE’VE FOUND! So therefore turning the British coffee-coloured will eventually keep them quiet, turning them into those they despise! ONE OUT OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE MATE!
Other things, such as disproportionate ethnic crime figures, Britain’s so-called ‘unsustainability’ of unlimited immigration and increased tax bills to pay for ‘resources’ don’t even merit response! So we don’t respond, thus ending that argument. And anyway, we’re all absolutely equal, being that we were all born. That’s the leveller mate, which is why we need all these different committees, groups, grants and targets specific to individual racial groups to point that out!
Many member of the public like to claim that they don’t mind Britain being a home to a few immigrants who need it but that letting foreigners in by hundreds of thousands just spoils the broth. BUT THEY SHOULD REALISE THAT THERE’S A WHOLE BIG BAD WORLD OUT THERE, FULL OF PEOPLE IN PERIL AND DANGER! SHARE THE WEALTH AND THE SPACE, THAT’S THE MOTTO OF THE DAY! AND AS RECENT 99p POCKET TRIVIA BOOKS HAVE STATED THAT YOU CAN FIT THE ENTIRE GLOBAL POPULATION ONTO THE ISLE OF WIGHT, HOW ON EARTH CAN PEOPLE OBJECT TO THE INFINITE INFLUX OF SUNDRY PERSONS MERELY WISHING TO FIND A BETTER LIFE AND A PLACE ON THE HOUSING QUEUE?!
Just a few ground rules need to be set: 1) Let people practice their cultures without let or hindrance, 2) Denigrate the British ‘beer and fags’ so-called culture to make room for them all, 3) Keep opposing cultures (like Muslim and Jew) separate, 4) Force together those not yet opposed and 5) As Andrew Marr advocated, apply as much legal and social pressure as is needed to hold the new utopia together.
IT’S A SIMPLE, FOOLPROOF WAY TO GET WORLD
PEACE! AND AS THE PUBLIC ARE THE FOOLS, THAT REALLY WILL BE THE
TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Because we’re going that way, I have to tell you!)
Now look here Public. Everyone knows that we
in Labour don’t expect you lot to be the brains of Britain but you must show
some sense once or twice in your lives. Alright, you voted Labour three times
in a row since 1997, but you’re nevertheless at risk of forgetting the lessons
you learned about Tory destruction.
And what about the BNP? This lurch to the
Right disgusts us and proves the Labour point that if you leave the voting
papers unaltered then there’ll be anarchy in the UK. And not the sort which we
like either.
Extremism just isn’t on! This is just what
the Labour Party has always fought against! Indeed, Left Wingers are so
anti-extremist that the likes of Arthur Scargill, Peter Mandelson, Charles
Clarke and Trevor Phillips (Racial Equality boss) went to Cuba to visit Castro
back in the 1970s! That’s about as far from the Public Right as you can
possibly get!!!!!!!!!!!
“No More Mr. Nice Guy”, as Ken Livingstone
said upon his election to London Mayor! Get on the ball people! If you continue
to spread hate not hope then we will have to punish you!
And as if shaming you with how our political
purity compares to your moral degradation isn’t enough, I’ve got another
disciplinary for you: I’ve just taken a look at the viewing figures for this
website. Yes, you may well look at the floor! You know full well that the
viewing figures are derisory. Anyone would think that Left Wing politics in
Britain today is in any way flawed! And I don’t care that the figures are
‘good’ for a so-called ‘small’ site! The INSULT! WE are bigger than YOU for
God’s sake!
And to think I recorded you a special ringtone
as well. If you’re going to not be very interested in the kind of people who
run you then you really shall be doomed to spend your lives frustrated at the
new status quo! But so be it, if you’re going to be that stubborn.
VOTE
LABOUR – LOVING EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD AS MUCH AS WE LOVE YOU! (NO, MORE
SO ACTUALLY, BECAUSE AN INHERENT TRUTH IN LIFE IS THAT THE GRASS IS ALWAYS
GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE MATE!)
It’s time
to eat Humble Pie again for you then eh, Public!
The sizeable ‘staying away from home’ allowance, and any subsequent so-called abuses of it with additional perks on top, is the only enjoyment we as MPs have, what with having to struggle just to stay still against the tide of ignorance perpetuated by Public and Media. Just since I came to office I managed to wangle an extra £200,000 in fuel and living allowance, something complained about by a few annoying little runts who used the much hated Freedom Of Information Act to find that out. (But what they DIDN’T bother to discover was the fact that all that profit went straight into the bank (and my second house with TWO bathrooms! That’s the future now mate!). I won’t be MP forever, what with bigots about in big enough number even today, so I’ll need extra assets for when I’m unemployed.)
But now the tide of hatred shall end. A Conservative MP, also in the same boat, has proposed a Bill in the House of Commons which will prevent the financial affairs of MPs being exposed to taxpayers wanting to know how much we earn. And we’re voting on it mate! Cross-party unity here, so it MUST be right, surely?
The Public may complain, but they’ve
harassed us and persecuted us and shown us near zero respect for all our hard
work and sacrifice as we battled for Britain for all that’s good and true! They
should be grateful we gave them a Freedom Of Information Act in the first
place!
And the Public are hypocrites. When we in Labour want to proctor their every thought, word, finances and houses with all their contents, you SWINES complain about invasions of privacy and the Labour police state! But oh no, we can’t turn round and use those hoary old excuses back to you can we????!!!!
So let the word go out to all who will
listen – Letting the Public scrutinise
the pay packets and practices of politicians only serves to damage confidence
in the rule of Law and jeopardise the efficiency of us the bosses.
Now I’ve put that into perspective, I don’t want to hear any more about it. Vote Labour!
NOTICE:
Mr. Brown and our EU allies have now told us that we can’t say words like
Muslim in relation to terrorism. Thought Crime you see! So I’ve rather
imaginatively ‘starred-out’ the relevant words so I’m not sent down for 7 years
on charges of incitement to racial hatred! You
see, the system works if even I can be had up in court for crimes we in Labour
have created!
HERE’S MORE PROOF that people like me are
right all along to say that the War On Terror propaganda is just the invention
of Fleet Street (to sell more papers) and George Bush (to kill more
foreigners)!
THE BBC ITSELF, PARAGON OF JOURNALISTIC NEUTRALITY AS IT IS, SAYS THAT
ONLY 6% OF IMAMS SPEAK ENGLISH AS THEIR FIRST LANGUAGE! There we are mate!
Unimpeachable evidence! Get out of that, you far-Right crackpots!!!
Doesn’t this rub salt into the wounds of those who blame one of the most
open and tolerant religions ever for all their ills, just because of the
piffling fact that all the recent terror atrocities committed on our soil have
been by M*****s! Oh yes, this beautiful
document also says that they found
NO EVIDENCE that imams are radicalising young M*****s (insofar as it doesn’t do
too much looking, for race relations purposes! Actual occurances, like this
one, can be embarrassing. So keep ‘em under your hat because they undermine
our arguments).
WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT! You see,
if most imams aren’t born amongst the racist rats who are the British people
(no offence intended) then the purity of Islam and all its teachings shall be
absorbed by uncorrupted minds. I notice that in Islamic nations there are
no headaches caused by bigoted non-Islamic majorities! And you think that’s a
coincidence! GET REAL!
And as if that’s not enough education, it MUST also be said, especially
to very young children, that LABOUR is now the futuristic vessel to carry Islam
into a new and vibrant 21st Century! Oh yes it is, as our Muslim
Council Of Britain just proves! YOU JUST
LOOK AT THIS LETTER MATE, signed by most of our top Muslim luminaries in
British society! Never mind the piffling imams, stuck in the past amongst their
dusty old books back in hot and sticky Asia, the simple fact is that LABOUR
ISLAM is just the amendment needed to ensure the docility of our most
erratic minority. After all, Labour gets everything else right, so why not
Islam?! GET WITH THE WINNING TEAM!
Alright, it took the Israeli offensive on Lebanon, rather than the
events of September 11 or July 7, to finally get the nation’s top Muslims to
call for a government crackdown on violence. But better late than never, and I
understand it to be true that they would have done it earlier, just that
something or other stopped ‘em. Pressures of work I suppose.
AND SO TO CONCLUDE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS APPROACH THIS WHOLE ALLEGEDLY RELIGIOUSLY-BASED QUESTION WITH ALL THE GRACE
AND TACT OF LEFTIES. THAT’S THE WAY TO HAVE YOURSELF PEACE IN OUR TIME MATE,
JUST DO WHATEVER THE OTHER SIDE WANTS TO HALT THE BAD FEELING ENGULFING THE
NATION!
And as for bigots who refuse to be open-minded, like the police? Well,
they’ll still be a magnet for bigots and thugs as ever they were………………………..!
Vote Labour!
** THOUGHT FOR THE DAY ** We in Labour are not amused
when we hear bigots call M*****s ‘Islamonazis’, just over a difference of opinion
when it comes to spiritual enlightenment. Not least because smearing people we don’t
agree with as Nazis is our monopoly. Alright, I*****c cultures can mirror fascist ones more so than our own,
but calling them Nazis only insults them and denies us in Labour the full power
of that insult when punishing normal people. (Yes, and Jews as
well. Serves them right for deviating from Leftist pigeonholing as helpless
victims!)
SO NEXT TIME YOU HURL AN
INSULT, JUST REFLECT ON WHAT THE WORDS ACTUALLY STAND FOR! YOU MAY HURT THE
FEELINGS OF THE WRONG PEOPLE (LABOUR) BY ACCIDENT!
COME ON MY ACTIVISTS! TELL THE PEOPLE. We are
facing a terrorist threat which poses a danger to the nation on a scale unseen
since the Second World War. It is a terror promulgated by persons allegedly
following a certain implied creed which is, totally and wholly, fundamentally
(to coin a phrase) peaceful. Safe. Non-toxic and completely unvolatile in every
manner whatsoever.
Never mind all those flooded people still waiting for government aid, we must all focus on the big issue of the day – THE FACT THAT EVEN IN THIS DAY AND AGE, BIGOTS SEE THE CASCADE OF I*****C TERROR TRIALS AND ATTEMPTS IN THE PAPERS EVERY DAY, PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER, MAKE FIVE AND THEN SAY “THOSE M*****S, EH! THEY UNDERMINE THE SAFETY AND CULTURE OF THE NATION BY EITHER PLOTTING OR COMMITTING (OR SYMPATHISING WITH) TERROR!”
A few of my Muslim friends have told me, so they must be believed, that only a tiny handful of extremists bomb and maim in Allah’s name. (And I was told not to read the Koran in case I get confused like the Public. Cos I mean, after all, Jihad, or Holy War, ACTUALLY means a peaceful inner struggle for enlightenment - so don’t believe all those other Muslims who aren’t even in the Muslim Council of Britain!!).
Every day there is an atrocity trial story in the papers. To which we say in Labour “SHAME ON FLEET STREET! AND CANARY WHARF MATE! IF ONLY THE PAPARAZZI, AS TONY BLAIR SAYS, DIDN’T HOUND PEOPLE ALL THE TIME WITH THEIR SPUN STORIES THEN THERE WOULDN’T BE UNREST! If we know this, so should they! (And then WE get called arrogant! Unbelievable!).
So Gordon Brown’s initiative to FLY THE UNION JACK FROM EVERY BUILDING IN BRITAIN is a proud way to defy the terrorists. Well, no actually. RACIAL TENSION CAN ONLY BE INFLAMED BY FLYING THE VERY SYMBOL OF THE VERY BRITISH EMPIRE WHICH VERY WELL OPPRESSED THE FOREFATHERS OF THESE JIHADISTS! NATIONALISM’S NOT THE WAY TO GO! Don’t want to encourage the white people do you! HE’LL BE TELLING PEOPLE TO VOTE BNP NEXT!! What on DAR-AL-ISLAM is our new PM thinking of????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still, he’s got to do at least something to whet the Rabble’s appetite for bigotry and jingoism. The European Constitution on Human Rights, I said HUMAN RIGHTS, is staying because it’s fair to criminals and ‘scum’. And they get a raw enough deal these days, so they need at least some State protection. Also Nicola Sturgeon, the deputy leader of the SNP, said that what with all these terror attacks we must all think of the hurt feelings of the immigrant communities before anyone else, something else the bigots will baulk at hearing. And that’s not to mention the fact that we need no referendum on the European Constitution after all, which is at least something we can breathe a sigh of relief at anyway.
So as another lot of misunderstood religious adherents go to jail for their beliefs (The Right are right after all – THIS IS INDEED A POLICE STATE!), spare a thought for equally misunderstood Labour, the only party with the courage, guts and gumption to deal with the problems without blinkers. Indeed, in the face of the ‘hang em and flog em’ Public, my CASH AND CARRY FREE RESOURCES FOR MUSLIMS policy is working great! It only costs £800,000 a month and already terrorist activity in my constituency by Muslims has gone down! I know cos I asked ‘em!
SO
ALL FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE AND LET US ALL STAND TOGETHER FOR PEACE, PROSPERITY AND
HOPE! VOTE LABOUR!
Labour Says:
“IT’S TIME TO POINT THE FINGER!”
It’s crunch time, crossroads time. It’s a time for reflection, for
introspection, for empathy, tea, sympathy, payouts, blowouts, blowups and
castouts. The latest Islamic terror atrocities, Glasgow Airport and London
being two mere targets recently, shows up just how far the extremists have been
pushed.
Al Muhajiroun chief Anjem Choudary, head of the Sharia
movement for Britain, reckons that further unrest shall ensue if Muslims
continue to be vilified and looked upon with suspicion by the Institutionally
Racist West. Indeed, so committed is he to his core values that he even called
for the downfall of Labour itself because Salman Rushdie received his
knighthood!
We in Labour have seen the race
riots (well, read the newspapers on ‘em) and the protests and the flag burnings
and the terror cells and the gangs and the ghettoes and the rabble-rousers. And
we’re not impressed.
We in Labour have undertaken a great
research into this whole issue of fundamentalism, orthodoxy, multi-culturalism,
religious mindsets and their intercompatibility and race relations. And we’ve
reached our conclusion:
THE ONLY WAY TO GUARANTEE RACE RELATIONS, STOP THE ATROCITIES AND ENSURE
THE COMMUNITIES OF THE ISLAMIC FAITH CAN
LIVE IN PEACE AMONGST EVERYBODY ELSE IS TO CLOSE DOWN THE BRITISH
NATIONAL PARTY!
That’s the word going out now mate!
The BNP’s had Nazis in it! Some people in it have even liked Hitler! They
spread their hate by telling white people to vote for them! THAT’S the utopia
for Britain you know, a BNP-less Britain, a New Britain, a LABOUR Britain! We
can’t have a one-party state you know, so VOTE LABOUR everywhere to keep the
fascists out!
We get our priorities in order you
know! You’re not honestly telling me that there are more bombers in the Muslims
than in the BNP?!! Remember 1984’s Tony Lecomber affair or the 1998 David
Copeland fiasco! Just proves it mate! All those Muslim doctors arrested over
Glasgow Airport just proves that the British MUST be oppressing the poor
battered Muslims even today if even DOCTORS are forced to take up arms! Just
look logically at the issues mate!
And it’s up to US IN THE LEFT to
smash the BNP if the Public refuse to do it! SHAME ON THE WHITE BRITISH PUBLIC!
NO WONDER WE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD BETTER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SUCK THAT BITTER PILL YOU RACISTS!
So there you go. Because the BNP’s the biggest threat that
British democracy and culture has ever faced, we concentrate all our efforts on
breaking them first. Stands to reason. Only when the BNP’s vanquished will
the TUC, Unite Against Fascism and the Students Union rebel and bully divisions
move on to campaigning against mad mullahs, chavs, drug dealers and burglars.
(Well, no actually. There’s still the National Front to go, I forgot about
them.)
We don’t dare try to talk to the
Muslims or take them to task about anything in case they lambast us again. Even
hardman John Reid was shaken when they shouted at him for telling them to watch
out for terrorism in their families! They’re strong people! And we don’t want
them hurting us do we?
SO SMASH THE BNP! RIDDING OURSELVES OF THE COMMON ENEMY OF BOTH MUSLIMS
AND LABOUR SHALL BE THE POINT OF PRINCIPLE WHICH WILL AT LAST MARRY OUR TWO
PEOPLES TOGETHER! LET’S FORGET IRAQ! VOTE LABOUR!
[PS – As if to underline the white
bigotry which must never go unpunished, one of my constituents asked me that if
these Muslims have such a just cause then why don’t they establish themselves
properly and create a political party to stand for election. To which I replied
“Ah, my ignorant minion! Don’t you realise that they don’t need to? Labour and
Plaid Cymru already exist to serve Islamic justice. And anyway, they’re far too
docile, placid and feckless to be able to help themselves, which is why we like
to advance their causes on their behalf.” Simple really! (Just like the Public!
ACE GAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)]
[PPS - THE PROPHET IS HERE! Look at the
website to see for yourselves. The white person who gave me this link kept on
giggling, which means that either he’s woken up to the pleasures of Islam or
the website is somehow a joke. And as we in Labour have ditched frivolous
things like a sense of humour, in order so we can survive this serious old
world, I’m unable to ascertain which. (Oh, and TO HELL WITH THE ANTI-ISLAMIC
JEW MELANIE PHILLIPS! PEOPLE LIKE
HER MUST BE OBLITERATED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH AFTER ALL! BLOODY ISRAEL!)]
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
So, Public, you’ve finally hounded Tony Blair from
office! Some of his greatest achievements have been to integrate federal
European mindsets into British law and say ‘Education, Education and
Education’!
Remember his words to John Major before the 1997
Second Dawn Of Time when he said “No More Lies! Enough Is Enough!” Straight
kind of guy that man! Plays the electric guitar, which just proves it.
I mean, alright, I have led many a rebellion of
Backbench Labour MPs against him. Such glory days! Foxhunting, because of us,
took up more Parliamentary time as a single issue than pretty much anything
else! More so than the NHS or something! And we on the Backbenches crafted that
our very selves! And so a worn out Blair used the Parliament Act to force the
ban through against the protests of everyone else in the Chambers and country
who wanted so-called ‘proper’ issues dealt with.
And the War On Terror! No wonder the Muslims have
turned their backs on Labour, even though we do most of what the community
leaders ask just to keep them quiet. And that annoys the Public, who refuse to
consider all the extra trouble we’d get if we didn’t. Bloody hell, just because
a couple of towers got knocked over we have to have a war! Bloody Americans!
And Education! Tony Blair wanted to raise standards,
but that reeked of elitism and other educational fascism! So we taught him a
lesson mate, leaving him only with a half-baked privatised schools idea which
never worked anyway. He can have that victory. And we were right you know –
indeed, rebel MPs represented constituencies with some of the most ‘shocking’
academic records!
Ah, we’re that wise on the Backbenches that we can
prove over and over that we know what’s best for the nation! And twist arms to
make the much needed changes!
Anyway, Tony Blair’s off, ground down by all the
synthetic scandalmongering fostered by Public and Media in their shadowy
alliance. Disgusting, it really is. I’d
never show that kind of disrespect to a unique man in British politics, winner
of three General Elections for his party for the first time and rescuer of the
UK from the filth of Toryism! Not when it isn’t needed anyway. (It’s called
balance!)
And so now we have Gordon Brown to fill his shoes.
And you can bet your life that he’ll be no John Major after Tony Blair’s
Thatcher! He’ll perpetuate Left Wing morality and justice with an even firmer
hand mate, which is just what we need the most for more Great Labour Britain!
No wonder John Prescott would swing for the Public! Their behaviour at the polls last week was absolutely disgusting! One of our covert ‘Labourcams’ was installed in the booths in one of my wards to monitor voting patterns and I’m damned glad it was….
In a supreme arrogant act of thinking they know what’s best, the misguided Public had the temerity to stab Labour in the back. So much was the Public’s lust for revenge, simply for not being intelligent enough to understand our highly sophisticated Leftist strategies and getting frustrated about it, that they voted for TORIES! Indeed, the whole of the South East (except Reading) is now in the hands of the watered-down Nazi Conservatives!!!!!!!!! Do you know what the Conservatives have done all these years? Do the atrocities of Thatcher, Black Wednesday or the Miners Strike mean nothing to you? Let 2007 be the Public’s year of shame!
YOU’VE DONE IT NOW! JUST BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO ‘PUNISH’ LABOUR, YOU’VE SPELLED YOUR OWN LIBERTARIAN DOOM! AND PUNISH, PUNISH IS IT?!! YOU’VE GOT A NERVE TRYING TO TURN THE TABLES LIKE THIS! PUNISHING LABOUR??! I KNOW WE ALL DUG ‘ANARCHY IN THE UK’ BY THE SEX PISTOLS, BUT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVERDOING IT YOU KNOW!!!! The Public shouldn’t be allowed to tinker with politics, they just haven’t got the expertise, as was aptly proved here.
And it’s no wonder that we in the Left see fascists in every shadow – because there are! The odious BRITISH NATIONAL PARTY made a net gain of 2 (bloody TWO mate!!!) councillors nationwide this election, as well as consolidating a bit of support here and there. Indeed, the party is so bad that we can’t think of enough derogatory nouns to hurl at them. And coming from a Left Winger, that’s quite some boast!!!
For God’s sake, if we’re going to have the BNP contribute to the political process then we might as well close down democracy and freedom of speech! Game’s up son! Alright, the BNP are doomed to failure, but we can’t have them succeed on the back of that, can we? (Paradox, alright, but the Public always vote for the wrong when they’re not voting Labour!).
To conclude, THAT’S why Labour are down in the polls – IT’S THE BNP’S FAULT! THEY CORRUPT THE PUBLIC AND STIR UP THEIR RACISM! THEY RIG THE JURIES WHICH AQUIT THEM FOR SAYING THINGS WHICH ARE ABHORRANT AND EVIL! THEY START NATIONWIDE RIOTS AS WELL AS STIRRING UP DISCONTENT OVER MOTOR CAR PUNISHMENTS, TAX HIKES, EU INTEGRATION, HIGH CRIME, LECTURES ABOUT WHITE BRITISH SLAVEMASTERS OF THE 18th CENTURY, EVER INFREQUENT RUBBISH COLLECTION AND EVERYTHING ELSE LABOUR ALLOWS BECAUSE IT’S JUST AND FAIR!
Tony Blair says that Labour needs to listen
to the Public! Well, we tried his way and it led to nationwide division,
racism, sexism, Islamophobia, homophobia, chavophobia, the British Empire,
Oswald Moseley, the Black And Tans, Rock Of Gibraltar, Falkland Islands,
sending troops against the newly liberated Soviet Union in 1919, the rise of
Hitler, Vidkun Quisling, the Ku Klux Klan, George Bush Snr AND Jr., John
Tyndall, Enoch Powell, the Birdie Song, etc, ON TOP of the rise of the BNP! No
wonder our grip-losing PM is stepping down for the coming person!
THAT’S the only lesson we need learn, and by extension so must the Public. IF WE ALL PULL TOGETHER THE NATION CAN STILL BE SAVED! SO DO AS YOU’RE TOLD NEXT TIME AND…
VOTE
LABOUR!
Notice:
A few disgruntled bigots have written in to ask me, me, JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER, whether I’m quite
sane.
Well, as usual, I’m way ahead of the pack. I have already endured a
course of extensive treatment by the Labour Party psychologist, which just
proves it. His diagnosis of my arrogant superiority complex coupled with my
schitzoid temperament, allowing me to feel an inferiority complex as well, is a
perfect complement to my sister condition of being psychologically stubborn in
my ideas and unable to tolerate criticism or corrective (indeed, being a middle
class white Englishman, the original fascist race-hatred bloodstock, would
drive anyone barmy).
And just to put the Labour seal of quality on the whole shebang, I was
given a certificate to hang on the wall, which I have done. It’s in my study,
framed in gold, alongside my other qualifications (the Penguin under-7s short
story 3rd prize winner and my 25 yards doggy paddle certificate if
you must know).
Of course, having the wherewithal to rise through the Labour ranks on
the back of these remarkable character enhancements is also an ironic
impediment. Cabinet members have to at least seem so-called ‘normal’ to appeal
to the bigoted unwashed, though at least Europe would have me.
I’ve earned that. And when the great Socialist Union Representative in
the sky calls upon me and says ‘Mr. Leftwinger, sir, what was your
justification?’, I can throw him the certificate and my bit of paper with my
duration as MP on and tell him there it is mate.
And I hope that’s settled quite a few minds.
VOTE LABOUR – We Think Outside The Box!
Oh yes Public! It’s time for more
fun and competitiveness (although I’d let everyone win if I had enough money
for prizes) as I present you with another opportunity to live up to the trust
which we in Labour have seen fit to place in you!
We mustn’t let fascism get a foot
on the regional governmental ladder in Wales and Scotland (though the Communist
Party’s alright because they haven’t murdered anyone round here recently). So
it is for that reason that we in the Left are using one of the biggest weapons
in our arsenal to fight this modern day threat to our lives, and yours as well
I suppose – the weapon of mass amusement! MUSIC, MATE!
And so I have decided, in my
magnanimous wisdom, to issue you this gauntlet-on-the-ground challenge for you
to pick up! All you’ve got to do is compose a tune and write appropriate lyrics
as to why it’s not a very good idea for people disillusioned with the political
process to be left to their own devices; speaks for itself!
(Well, no, don’t compose the tune.
If your ability to tunesmith is on a par with your ability to formulate
rational, non-racist and balanced political debate amongst yourselves, then you
obviously couldn’t be trusted anyway. Just how much more reasonable can I
be????! Just do the words, they’re the most important.)
Put words to this remarkable and innovative piece of
future-music recorded in the Johnathan Leftwinger Studios; THAT’S the
better thing I can be doing instead of holding surgeries, Public, since you
asked! I don’t see why I should be depressed by listening to all your moaning,
I really don’t!
And as this contest is aimed at
children in particular, here are some nice clues: Write words to rhyme with
PUBLIC, BIGOTRY, and LITTLE ENGLANDERS, not to mention NEW LABOUR, HONESTY and
GUIDANCE. You children really are the future; after all you put up no
resistance to or cynicism of Left Wing dogma, unlike your hardcore parents!
I shall expect your lyrics to be
posted to my Press Office at copperation@supanet.com
by May 1. The prize shall be another term of office for Labour politicians. Now
THAT’S a reward!!!!!!!!!!!!
“KEEPING IT
REAL, KEEPING IT LABOUR!”
Wnning slogan by Jenny Copeland, 8, from Pangbourne.
NOW THAT’S WISDOM, PARTICULARLY FROM SOMEBODY SO YOUNG! If only people 5 times her
age could be so wise! She won my book “Remembering
the victims of slavery and their Tory Masters, who are closet Nazis even now”.
(SOVCOM books, just 89 euros!)
Johnathan Leftwinger gets other MPs’ houses in
order. After all, his own constituency is ‘pixel perfect’ as you computer users
say, so He’s got the time to perform this selfless service by prying into other
peoples’ affairs. Aah, pure pure Labour; pure pure goodness!
Now listen, Public. By-election time is on the way, which means that it’s time for you to stop flirting with fascism and remain true to Labour. You’ve voted for us with enthusiasm before so there’s no excuse not to do it again this time. Indeed, as voting Labour is an almost orgasmic experience (as I myself can testify), there’s absolutely no need for any absenteeism now that the country is on its knees enough to be in need of Labour leftiness more than ever!
So where’s the BULLDOG SPIRIT MATE? Where’s the kind of OLD BRITISH GRIT, NATIONAL PRIDE AND UPSTANDING MORAL CHARACTER GONE ALL OF A SUDDEN? Oh yes, you show it in abundance when you’re being institutionally racist, the bloody lot of you, but when it’s time to use it for the forces of Labour you go AWOL!!! No wonder we’ve redirected our loyalty to everyone else in the world! Serves you right.
Now I’ve put that into perspective, the fact that the average member of the Public has become disillusioned with us can be shown up for the folly and idiocy that it is (no offence, but the truth always hurts). An example of adopting the correct perspective in local political affairs is shown up by a comment by LABOUR Reading MP Martin Salter.
(Poor Martin has to carry Reading alone as the Bigot Community in the town recently voted out its other Labour MP Jane Griffiths for a Tory. SEE, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? NO WONDER I’M ALWAYS SHOUTING INTO MY VOICE RECOGNITION WORD PROCESSOR WITH THE STRESS OF US HAVING SUCH A RUBBISH ELECTORATE TO WORK WITH! Jane Griffiths, according to the papers, then fled the country when she was wanted for tax evasion. BUT WE KNOW THAT THE BIASED MEDIA FORGOT TO TELL US THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY BROKEN IN SPIRIT BY THE TURNCOAT PUBLIC AFTER YEARS OF TIRELESS WORK ON THEIR BEHALF! Peasants.)
Anyway, he said in his local election pamphlet that a small shopping precinct for an adjoining village was in need of restoration by the neglectful Tories. He then appealed for a Labour voice on the neighbouring non-Labour council area. THAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO LOOK AT IT. Now the WRONG way, the Public way: If Labour cracked down on crime, thus lowering the chances of the precinct being burned out by arsonists again, then perhaps local businessmen may wish to invest there once more.
See the OPTIMISM of Martin Salter fly in the face of the PESSIMISM of many local bigots. It’s THAT EASY to get behind Labour and let your heart fill with hope not hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VOTE
LABOUR – Follow our lead and you can be right too!
Let us
remind ourselves of why ex- Labour Minister Gisella Stuart was right to say
that the ‘Rise of Englishness’ is a threat to democracy, just as Labour’s
communications official Terry White said that Englishness and Fascism go very
well together……
LABOUR, or anybody of a fine
disposition towards justice, equality, freedom and making sure the ‘wrong’
people are in the right for once, deserve to be recognised for all their hard
work. Indeed, just as difficult as the job of harbinger of pride and honour is
the task of forcing the Public under the thumb. (If they won’t go of their own
free will then they must be pushed there; stands to reason. People
have to do as they’re told and not buck Labour if we’re not to have anarchy,
it’s just logic).
This bloke has it spot on! He
thinks that all Muslims should strive to be ‘radical’ because people think
devout Muslims are radical. Or something. GO GO ISLAM! Alright, it may be a
breeding ground for racism, sexism, brutal homophobia, terrorism and conspiracy
theory, but it’s a nice culture overall.
We know how to wallow in
self-hatred, we’re the pros! Indeed, a day on which we can again berate
the whites for being institutionally racist is always a good idea! And never
mind today’s slavery, such as the Islamic and Eastern European variety,
we’ve got enough to do making the white bigots feel the inferior parasites they
actually are! And only a fascist fascist, like traitorous
ex-Lefty Melanie Phillips, would complain!
Typical
white trash! Well done to this witty website for exposing them.
YEA MATE, YEA! LABOUR JUSTICE IS THE
BEST JUSTICE IN THE WORLD! We are finally giving the most vulnerable and cut-off
persons in Britain a chance to shine in our new Society of Equality! Oh my
lovely law boss, have a LEFTWINGER AWARD with my humblest and sincerest
compliments!
I doff my hat, once once once
again, to the Labour Party Home Office. Tolerance is the
keynote as the institutionally racist police have been told not to arrest
illegal immigrants but to send them on their way to asylum centres instead. The
coppers (and the equally disgusting Public) are furious that the ‘illegals’ are
being allowed to roam on their own. BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE, YOU BIGOTED LOT OF
BIGOTS! YOU WANT THEM TO THINK WE DON’T TRUST THEM?? THAT’LL DO A LOT OF GOOD
FOR THEIR SELF ESTEEMS, EH MATE! AND THEM TRAVELLING ALL THAT WAY JUST TO GET
HERE! ASHAMED TO BE BRITISH SOMETIMES, I REALLY AM!
---
I deserve some respect too for the
musical door chimes I’m making. All money will supplement me, via Labour.
Everybody wins. Listen to this recording of
the ‘candidates’ for the finished product and email me at copperation@supanet.com with your
vote. And I’ll pick the winner. LABOUR DEMOCRACY IN ACTION!!!!!!
---
No wonder this country has a spiralling yob
problem. And as usual it has nothing to do
with Labour. Thug
grown-ups demand the practice of physical child abuse to be implemented in
schools today. CHILD ABUSE UNDER LABOUR??!! TO ECHO MARGARET HODGE, CHILDRENS’
LADY, THAT’S UNIMAGINABLE!!!!!!!!!
---
The MUSLIM COUNCIL OF BRITAIN have
out-shone even my high expectations mate! Their new rigid and perfect
demands call for schools with majority Muslim attendance to become Islamic
by default! And we in Labour are spearheading a Renaissance for
British schools in general, if this adviser is anything to go by; I said LABOUR,
which means that our flawless Islamic friends can have their way even with us!
GOTCHA PUBLIC! Not only shall the Muslims get
whatever they reasonably call for, but these plans shall help the cause of
cohesion, equality and denying white
bigots
the chance to continue to dominate
(Additional note: TRAITORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought that we in Labour were there to avenge the Muslims, I know the Public
do (one of their better observations!). All that soiling for nothing. Sometimes
I wonder why we bother to try smashing the bastards, I really do!)
---
What on Earth are we coming to in
the enlightened Leftist West? People are even slandering Lennon now! Kudos to
this website
for highlighting more bigotry. My ticking-off books, logs of all the rants I
have, prove my righteousness!
---
It takes foreigners to show us the
way, ‘course it does, even though they’re American. Contraceptives handed to prison
inmates and schoolchildren
asked to share the same piece of chewing gum in class shows us the way
forward!
---
It doesn’t hurt to be reminded that
Labour know how to cure all of society’s ills! This ‘classic’
Labour news from 2004 shows how we react to the increased dangers of
schoolchildren experimenting with drugs and yobby
vandal thugs causing uproar amongst the mass ranks of the ordinary people!
We are
LABOUR, therefore the LAW, therefore the building blocks of morality and the
central socio-political native culture of our islands.
Obvious, you’d think. But no. David
Blunkett made the excellent observation that “I am the law” when some piffling understudy put up yet another
obstacle to rational Labour thinking, saying the ex-Home Secretary’s particular
proposal would buck existing statute.
Britain under Labour has socially
fragmented. Indeed, the collapse of family cohesion, ethnic inter-community
cohesion and the plummet of so-called ‘decent’ tenets of traditional morality
is at such a point that even the Public can’t fail to see it. And you know how
much of a buck they are to the populist political policies of our celestial
Labour government.
We in Labour have punished,
prodded, coerced, baited, locked up and otherwise threatened people with sundry
punishments; But they have still refused to pull together with us to save our
nation by embracing absolutely anyone we let in unchecked to live with us and
vote for us. (Check out our special new Polish leaflets!)
And as for the more worthy,
non-racist ethnics (except other white ones who are naturally racist,
obviously) we have begged, bribed, fought for, allowed counter-cultures for and
even exempted from the law and justice but they still cause racial tensions and
things. How can we run a united Britain with this state of affairs! We don’t
deserve this for all our tampering with Britain for the common good, we really
don’t!
This fascist has highlighted the
fact that current
Labour policy is now to use the full force of the law to bend to our will
the prevailing moral climates and thought processes of
YOUR LAST CHANCE PUBLIC! IF YOU CAN’T EVEN SUBMIT TO
THE WHOLESOME AND SUPERIOR WAYS OF THE PERFECTIONIST LEFT WING THEN WELL MATE,
YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED IN THE MANNER WHICH NO LEFTIST HAS EVER NEEDED TO PUNISH
BEFORE! AND THAT’S THE BLOODY BIG ONE MATE, SO PULL YOUR SOCKS UP ALL OF YOU!
GOD, YOU’RE DISGRACES TO BRITAIN!!!!!!!
Take
a good long look at this picture. That is TWO WEEKS’ WORTH OF RUBBISH from just
THREE households in my constituency. Or is it four?
Labour’s
policy of fortnightly rubbish collection, coupled with our celebration of
Easter by dropping the service temporarily, has shown up just how bigoted the
average British joe actually is.
I
mean, JUST LOOK HOW GREEDY THEY ALL ARE! If they can make so much rubbish so
soon they must be punished for it, that’s what I say. And so the microchips are
scheduled to arrive soon to do so automatically. Well, they will when the bits
used for the Johnathan Leftwinger
Under-19s ASBO Club Talking Membership Cards run out.
I
despise these taxpayers, I really do. We in Labour keep telling them that their
stupidity in creating oversized refuse tips is the sole cause of Mother Earth’s
destruction, not to mention the extra rats and flies, but they just blame
Labour for their own shortcomings again.
And
so you think any council of OURS is going to snap to your orders and collect
your rubbish any time soon? THINK ON MATE! You’ve burnt your boats now, haven’t
you?!
IF YOU’RE SO CLEVER, DISPOSE OF IT
YOURSELF; THEN YOU’LL SEE JUST HOW TOUGH A JOB YOUR ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES
HAVE!
_______________________________
PS – My JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER CONSTITUENCY TASK FORCE outing to Strasbourg
to sample the delights of EU membership and employment opportunities for prominent
politicians such as myself was a roaring success! We spent over £30,000 for the
trip alone, which means we got real quality.
My idea for a £150,000 A YEAR RACISM CO-ORDINATOR to patrol the streets, schools
and workplaces looking for evil white
oppressors of foreign-born victims to punish HAS BEEN A SUPER-DUPER TRIUMPH!
Alright, only two yobs were collared for a race beating whilst 573 ordinary
‘respectable’ people were promptly arrested for daring to read a BNP leaflet
found on the floor, asking for ‘black’ coffee and singing Baa Baa ‘Black’ Sheep
to their children, etc, just proves it.
It proves what we’ve impartially said all along – ordinary normal people
are racist pigs who must be shamed to death.
We also spent an additional £13,500
for something about lesbians in Nirobi, which was also spiffing. YOU SEE PUBLIC? CONTRAST YOUR DEGRADING AND
DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR WITH THE FORWARD-LOOKING, PRODUCTIVE STYLE OF OURS!
Talk to us when you know a thing or two about life mate!
THE
PEASANTS ARE REVOLTING!!!! But what else is new?????!!!!!
‘CITIZEN
BIGOT’ (as I shall now call any of them)
DARES TO EXPOSE LABOUR SPENDING
INITIATIVES !
Does he actually want a destroyed Britain, I ask?! His devisive and craven attacks
on new British justice and morality will get us there at this rate!
Taxpayers’ Alliance? A front group for
bigotry and disharmony more like it!
If you thought the electorate are
the kind of people who constantly hit people, dress in disgustingly tacky ‘clothes’,
shout and swear and call everybody ‘motherf*****’, then I have to confess that
you’d be right. (Either that or they’re a bunch of middle-class Express-reading
snobby fascists who would rather cut crime by sending criminals to prison
rather than by teaching them how inconsiderate they
are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
We in the Left have the insight you
see into how real people live. Which is how we know that the average persons in
the middle-aged white Public are always moaning and whining about disrespectful
children. Even during Puritan times the fascist Middle Aged White community in
Britain advocated taking the stick to the poor little mites!
Children need protecting, even from
the likes of parents and Public, despite their youthful deviations from the
moral and social straightjacket (foisted by those nazis with a small ‘n’) upon
Labour. Which is why we have a brand new, original and completely
groundbreaking design for dealing with school bullies. Our current policy of
derisory punishments and sympathy has failed, so we must now have a new radical
approach whereby we discontinue punishments and empathise instead.
No no, Public, don’t froth at the mouth in swivel-eyed,
slack-jawed rage yet! I was hit by an angry ‘yob’ once, so I can feel their
pain. They’re just frustrated at the bad breaks life has given them, that’s
all. Their agony at being so-called ‘failures’ in both academic and social
fields has rather understandably led them to embrace their own moral policies,
parallel but different to our own, which include threatening and harassing
neighbours, swearing at policemen, spitting at teachers and hitting good decent
people in Labour as well as other oiks in the Public.
Our new policies aim to sweep all
that away in an orgy of understanding. In our new outlook, ‘normal’ well
behaved people are actually the ideal whilst badly behaved, foul-mouthed and
ill-behaved ferals are the majority. Which under Labour we’ve discovered that
they are in the places we go to. Just ask all those harassed teachers who are
beaten up and refused school backing in the prosecution of the perpetrator. You
can’t have discrimination against young thugs who know no better! Get a grip
teachers!
So we must say to the yobs “Now
look mate. Shoving that firework up that 8 year old and lighting the fuse
wasn’t very nice was it. Think of the discomfort the so-called ‘victim’ feels
both when he’s on fire and when he’s in the sick bay putting himself out”, to
which the yob will say “Hmm, thanks Labour. I never thought of it like that. My
pleasure, yes, but someone else’s pain.
I will indeed change my ways and become a model member of society.”
IT’S THAT DAMN SIMPLE! We in Labour
verified the effectiveness of these policies by running actual
classroom-condition simulations in our very own brains, just to ensure the
flawlessness of the initiative. AND
BLOW ME, IT WORKED EVERY TIME!
And so it’s proved that
encouragement and withholding of punishments and bad report cards actually
enhances pupil self esteem. Which in turn reduces the risk of his/her behaviour turning violent. Let’s see you get upset over the policy now
it’s a proven success then, Public!
THE LABOUR GOVERNMENT – Combining the policies of Education Education And Education with Tough On Crime, Tough On The Causes Of Crime to get TWICE THE
SUCCESS!
THOSE NOB
FASCIST BASTARDS! I knew the Lords were a shambolic bunch of reactionaries
who needed to be stripped of absolutely everything they have and forced to live
in shelters in the name of equality mate! How DARE they humiliate the truly
noble Labour!
IN THE PAPERS
With Johnathan
Leftwinger
Let’s take a look at
what really made proper reading in the Asylum East area……..
First, a report from the local paper, THE MIDWEEK WET, a superb neutral hard-Left journal.
A Vote For Labour Is A Vote For Computers -
They don't fail as much as we do! with
Johnathan Leftwinger
We love computers in Labour. We want computers to teach our children (they even
take the register now!!), to do our jobs (ie - yours), to know everything about
you, to keep an eye on you and to run your lives and to punish you accordingly.
Computers have revolutionised learning. Calculating machines in class and Text
phones in exams? Speaks for itself mate! No wonder A Level and degree passes
are better than ever before. LABOUR HAVE CREATED MILLIONS OF ADDITIONAL HIGHLY
QUALIFIED YOUNG PEOPLE SINCE 1997! SO DON'T YOU DARE BE UNGRATEFUL AT THE
POLLS!
In fact, we wish we were computers here in Labour. Their success rate's greater
than ours, they get everything right (just like us) and when when things do go
wrong it's never their fault even though they get the blame. Again, we in
Labour know what that's like.
Ah yes, biometric eye scans and computer compatible ID cards are the future
mate. There have been whinges aplenty, particularly when the miserly public
discover that they have to pay for it, but how else are we supposed to
recognise them?
And this isn't a fad, I myself wanted this for years. In 1965 I gave a speech
in which I said that people should be kept an eye on, be always brainwashed,
regulated and punished until they do things the way we 'trendy' Lefties wanted
and always have ID on their persons. And I've always maintained that Patrick
McGoohan stole my ideas and turned them into a hit TV show, which just proves
New Labour's system works, but I never got paid. People are just too selfish.
Look, you've got to be People Managers in Labour. For God's Sake, the unruly
public need a corrective, and with us and the EU in charge, they're damn well
getting one! So make allowances for the whingeing, nobody likes getting
punished.
I'm straying from the point now. We even want E-Voting. Alright, pleb shows
like Pop Stars (or whatever those ghastly things are called) constantly
experience voting cock-ups, but that always used to happen with the old
fashioned paper votes. I mean, for a party of racist, sexist, homophobic
mysoginyst bigots, the Tories have won far too many elections for my liking.
And with computers taking the votes we'll see who REALLY wins mate!
Listen, you have spell checkers, so why not vote checkers? Fair, quick and
beyond doubt mate, that's computers. And it'll save Labour lots of time because
we'd no longer have to correct votes by hand. Everybody wins.
So next time you dig out your old BBCs, Spectrums or Commodore 64s from the
loft to re-live old times, JUST THINK FROM WHAT TINY ACORNS GOOD AIDS TO SOLID,
DEPENDABLE AND UNBIASED LEFT WING ADMINISTRATIONS GROW!
VOTE LABOUR! PRESS PLAY ON TAPE MATE! I love it!
And on the other side of the debate-style coin, here’s what was worth reporting in the local students’ union intellectual textbook/magazine, the PEOPLES’ FIGHTER:
TODAY’S TOP TELEVISION: “Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Labour”
A New Drama by Johnathan Leftwinger airs on Channel 4.
Lonathan Jeftwinger is a thrusting young Labour MP who always has a fresh
outlook, even at 62 (indeed he's not changed his ideas since he was 29. It's
called being evergreen mate).
However, despite being right all the time (he is Labour after all),
Jeftwinger's being deserted by the voters, disenchanted with Labour and its PC
ways.
This insightful and thought provoking programme delves into the paradox of the
Public being wrong yet blaming Labour and Left in general.
And to keep production values truly in line with 21st Century Thinking, there's
lots of swearing, plus copious sex courtesy of Leftwinger's fertile imagination
('it's the only place where anything gets done' says his fascist Tory
opponent).
***** A Five Star programme well worth videoing to remind yourself why Labour's
so lovely and other people are so stupid. I mean, if they can't be bothered to
do even the slightest bit of work to discover New Labour benefits then they
should be treated with the contempt they deserve!
VOTE LABOUR -
They set the record straight!
And yet another perspective, this time from the Labour Party Book For The Deaf entitled Shangri-La (bour):
Life's tough for Labour, not that you'd care...
JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER MP TALKS THE WALK AND WALKS THE TALK...
_______________
So why do Labour rig the occasional election?
Well, we spend all this time going door to door and requesting the Public vote
Labour. After all, it's about the only real work they do for us.
However, despite the doorstep visits, helping fill out the postal vote forms,
waiting on them hand and foot and giving 'em lifts to the polling booth, they
don't always return our hospitality by simply putting their cross in our box. I
know, I've watched 'em! Saw them through a hole in the ceiling. Least I could
do.
I mean, it doesn't take much effort. It doesn't take much time. But oh no, they
have to vote Tory or even BNP! The racists! Can't have racists! So the
correction of certain ballot papers, or their disposal, is a must to keep
freedom and justice in Britain. We should be thanked, not arrested!!!!!!
Luckily for me, each voting form has a number, a number related to the name of
the voter. So just be warned mate, a BNP vote this time, a dictatorship
tomorrow (not even a Left Wing one as run by the likes of that nice Mr.
Castrol!). We in Labour can keep an eye on people like that. White trash!
That's preserving democracy.
VOTE LABOUR!
----
PS - On a vaguely related note, it's often been said that it was lucky Tony
Blair wasn't arrested when he was interviewed by the police in the Cash For
Peerages scandal. But I say No mate!
If we had a Prime Minister convicted it would open up a wealth of new
oppertunities; LABOUR IN PRISON, just imagine it.
We could reform the Penal System from the inside, a unique perspective. I bet
you any money you like that the Right-Wing Little Englander Tories couldn't
think of that! Blimp mentality, that's why!
Mind you, there were safeguards. Why do you think Labour never built any
prisons during all the time we've been in? And why do you think we've softened
the system by downgrading crimes, making jail more comfortable and slashing
sentances?
There have been odds that Labour people would go in, as a few actually have.
Double-edged sword mate! Labour was conceived in a jail after all, you we've
got that special affinity, has to be said.
But if we had Tony Blair, PRIME MINISTER CELL BLOCK H, so to speak, we'd be
unstoppable. We'd all be reunited come visiting day for Cabinet and MP
meetings.
It's just so logical when you stop to think!
We're in charge and you know it! VOTE LABOUR!
And as if that wasn’t enough to whet your educational appetite, try this article from the WHY WE’RE A BUNCH OF EVIL WHITE RACISTS WHO MUST BE PUNISHED leaflet for schools for size:
Johnathan Leftwinger MP's GUILTY FAMILY SECRET
"Roger Leftwinger, the Labour Party Member Of Parliament for the
constituency of Solidarity West, is seen here rapturously enjoying the
performance of Land Of Hope And Glory given by the band in his local park.
"'These are good Englishmen and I am proud to know them', said Leftwinger
to our reporter yesterday. 'I am sure that we can count on these solid patriots
in the future to defend our shores in the event of war'.
At that evening's Labour meeting he told his activists that a good British
Socialist has to British first in order to best serve the country." -
Daily Mail, July 29, 1937
So now you know readers. My father was a traitor who believed in the fascism of
patriotism! And he compounded this bigotry by believing in Britain's 'duty' to
develop nuclear weaponry come the 1950s! No wonder the Soviets felt so
persecuted by Western armed barbarism!
However could Labour have been allowed to operate whilst continuing to employ
such horrible people? I mean, not a single black face!
Luckily for Britain today, the Labour Left has now reformed into a beautiful
poppy of righteousness and equality, as everybody should now know.
However, my friendship with noble equality fighter Kim Philby was almost soured
when I very nearly exposed my father's disgusting story, though I think he
knew. Can't have people as worthy as him upset now, stands to reason.
Good job my dad's dead now, eh?! Or he'd campaign Tony Blair to update our
nuclear arms in the face of the persecuted Iranians!
Look, I didn't mean to come across all insensitive there, I was just
proving a point about the differences between the silly Old Labour and the
vibrant and forward-thinking New Labour. I mean, it's like cooking isn't it.
After all, given the choice between eating Old and New potatoes, only an idiot
would choose Old over New. Leastways in my house. Which just proves it.
And anyway, as it turns out, I am in fact quite sad that my father died when he
did. I was only 2 weeks into giving him my intensive three year crash course
(with exams) into why New Labour's the way to be and how he should be part of
it in order to escape disgrace in the eyes of our Left Wing peers. Not too much
to ask, though he was too stubborn just to sit there and listen.
Between you and me, I think he committed suicide just to get away from me! And
I never got to tell him I loved him either (that was going to be part of the
reward when he successfully converted to the post-nuclear ways of the New
Left).
I was only doing my job, but I lost a father. Still, I suppose it was all for
the best. In the last years we never got on and I have to say that he did cough
a lot.
VOTE LABOUR - Because people like me determine your future and you'd best not
upset us!
Well, the power of the written word has the power to increase the power of intellectual power to empower persons. LABOUR LABOUR LABOUR; EDUCATION EDUCATION AND EDUCATION! This is all the schooling you’ll ever need mate! Why else do we let all the kids out to go home early afternoon these days?!
HIT BACK AT THE BIGOTS spot
Read what some anti-reasonable people reactionary has written…….
Summer In The City...
... well, it is in March these days.
About time we had a musical update then...
Labour summer in the city
Uncollected garbage makes me itty and gritty
I've been down, Isn't it a pity
Gotta keep your hand on your wallet in the city
All around the people looking half dead
Lying on the sidewalk
Stoned right out their thick heads
But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
C'mon c'mon, let's chav all night
Cos we're all on heat so we'll f*** alright
So baby don't you know it's a pity the days
Aren't as violent as the nights
Summer In The City
Labour in the city
Fascists driving in the city
eco-pollution's not so pretty
We're cool cats to fine the b******s
How dare these people destroy the lovely city
Better they stand by, mugged right at the bus stop
No change, no ride, get off, no room on top.
More or less anyway.
Contact me at copperation@supanet.com for the neo-fascist’s address and we can all write to him and threaten him with punishment for his hate crime. It’s all too reasonable.
Also, check out this HIDEOUSLY INTOLERANT PERSON’S RESPONSE TO PERFECTLY RESPONSIBLE CALLS TO AID POOR INNOCENT CRIMINALS: God, the FASCIST!
That
Lib-Dem slandermonger Norman Baker has been up to his old tricks again. This
time he’s ‘proved’ that Dr. David Kelly had not committed suicide, as Labour
flawlessly diagnosed via the Hutton Enquiry.
Dr. David
Kelly had the nerve to embarrass our Labour hierarchy by claiming that there
were no grounds for the invasion of Iraq on the Weapons Of Mass Destruction
ticket.
And
now, on the so-called ‘evidence’, ‘evidence’ I shan’t bore you with here, Baker
claims that Kelly was discredited at least for his trouble. DISCREDITED??! We
in Labour turn the other cheek, it’s how we work!
So-called
‘evidence’ can be interpreted in any number of ways. Particularly ‘evidence’
from a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT! If you want real
evidence, just ask Labour. We do rule you after all, so who better to know
a thing or two about life as it’s lived??!!
Mr.
Baker is most unreliable. For a start, he’s incompetent. Last year he claimed
that a substantial amount of ‘evidence’, OR SHOULD THAT BE VICIOUS SLANDER
AGAINST THE FINEST NEO-SOCIALIST GOVERNMENT TO HAVE EVER TRANSFORMED
BRITAIN??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, to back his theories was mysteriously wiped
from the computer in his Westminster office.
Mysteriously wiped? He thought somebody from Labour
might have had a hand in this, but that’s a preposterous thing to think. More
than likely he doesn’t know how to use computers properly. After all, even I have trouble sometimes, which means
that anybody can. Computers do play up you know and do things all on their
own. Indeed, last month my computer
switched itself off all by itself and wouldn’t turn on again for seven days,
until my nephew came round and changed the fuse in the plug.
The
best thing to do is to ignore this rat
and continue our lives in peace and Labour prosperity. WE’VE GIVEN ALL WE HAVE TO GIVE FOR THE BRITISH PEOPLE (AND EVERYONE
ELSE), PRINCE OR PAUPER, BEGGAR MAN OR THIEF! EVERYBODY HAS A FAIR SHARE UNDER
LABOUR AND THAT’S WORTH REMEMBERING AND NOT THIS!
Vote Labour!
NB – I myself
disagree with the Iraq issue and even the so-called War On Terrorism. But I’m
Labour and so therefore am in a position to fairly
and even-handedly confront our disgraceful out of touch Labour hierarchy on
this horrific package. You, however, are the Public. You have limited (or zero)
access to all the relevant files, and so must automatically put all faith in
Labour and I to live your lives. And that’s why things have failed so far,
because you’re too daft to do such a small thing.
TRUE VIEW: The bleeding Tory snobs at the
Express want the 50% inheritance tax REVOKED! God, the Middle Class and
their cavalier attitude to respectable morals and values! With the NHS in the
doldrums, THOSE TOFFEE-NOSED BERKS WANT TO HOG ALL THEIR DEAD RELATIVES’
RESOURCES!!!!!! How SELFISH and TUNNEL-MINDED CAN THESE BLUE RINSE, WATERED
DOWN NAZIS POSSIBLE
BE?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And to think that THEY dislike ME for being bigoted and hateful! Talk about
reverse psychology mate!!!
Dream Dream Dream!
Labour
Is
the Party of justice
And
equality and harmony
In
society
Labour
Is
the Party of low tax
And
low crime and
High employment
Is
what we give to
the
nation to make it strong
But
if we want any gratitude
What
we have to do
Is Dream, dream dream dream!
Bloody Public!
FOR ALL THOSE WHO DOUBT THE SUCCESS OF
LABOUR OR OUR UNDERLYING NEO-SOCIALIST MINDSET, GET A LOAD OF THIS MATE!
There are many social ills
suffered by our sick nation. For a start, there’s sexism, homophobia,
Islamophobia or racism. And the rest. The Public often complain about the state
of schools, the police service, hospitals and other essentials, even though
we’ve pumped in money until it hurt (lucky it wasn’t our pain). But things are
still failing. But we did our best, so let’s ignore all that.
They also whinge about high
crime too, a subject which we in Labour are actually vindicated. The Public pay through the nose for top
class service, and they know it! But we know that they themselves are more
criminals than victims, so we’ve instigated a series of initiatives to reset
the balance. Why else are victims arrested and ‘criminals’ set free? You have
to admit that society brands people and keeps some people locked into a
bottom-class cage of depression, bondage, poverty and desperation. THAT’S YOU, PUBLIC!
Look, people who ‘yob’ and
‘thug’ and ‘burgle’ can’t help what they’re doing. Crime is a virus, the cure
being sympathy and understanding rather than porridge and rocks. I wouldn’t like to suffer under a regime of
porridge and rocks, would you? Well then.
But the tide is turning.
Incarcerating people making citizens’ arrests, acting in self defence or for
finally reacting after being terrorised is a valuable step to take in making
sure everybody knows their rightful place (a completely different policy,
incidentally, from the one previously mentioned as it is we social experts in
Labour doing the bondaging now!).
Take a look at this.
It’s the next step in the new and vibrant technological race to win the minds
of the Public by actually having a look at what they’re thinking! Remember that
study by Leftist scientists in which their new racism
detector could detect bad
thoughts? Well, such machines are coming to the market soon, to be used by
the police to monitor people’s ‘intentions’.
Just imagine the leeway
which we in Labour can give ourselves in the war on crime! Not only can we pull
in people just in case they might want to rob Dixons, we can also look at the
brains of known
racists, revisionists and traffic criminals. The only problem I see with
acquiring such a device is whether there’s space for all those zeros in our
chequebook! But you have to pay for quality. (Indeed, as Tony Blair so rightly
says, he is proud of our country which has zero tolerance for crime and total commitment
to gay rights!)
MORE CRIMINALS CONVICTED,
LOCKED UP (OR PUNISHED IN A MORE RELEVANT
MANNER, AS HAPPENS NOW) AND SUBSEQUENTLY FREED MEANS A GREATER SUCCESS RATE
FOR LABOUR! THE MOVIE ‘CHOCOLATE ORANGE’S SITUATION ISN’T AS BAD AS I FIRST
THOUGHT! VOTE LABOUR!
“They
seek him here,
They
seek him there,
On
College Green
He’s
talking there.
Putting
out the messages
That
he thinks they should hear,
He’s
a DEDICATED FOLLOWER OF LABOUR
Oh
yes he is,
Oh
yes he IS!
There’s
one thing that he loves
And
that is flattery.
One
week he says he’ll cut crime
And
the next he says he won’t,
HE’S
A DEDICATED FOLLOWER OF LABOUR!
TWANG-TWANG-TWANG-TWANGA-TWANG!
( love that bit!)”
“I DO WORK, HOW DARE YOU” with Johnathan Leftwinger
First, let’s
get one thing perfectly straight: when I say I work, I mean that in a purely
seemly manner which reflects my status. After all, you wouldn’t catch me pushing
trolleys around Tesco or trying to sell 32 inch plasma t.v. sets to berks in a
shop staffed by wallies! Be rational
here!
No, I mean
perfectly valid Parliamentary work. An MP’s duties consist of, ooo, it’s far
too long a list and I can’t remember all of it. Indeed, the list’s so long I
can hardly remember anything at all! Irony eh, Public?!
But I do know
that my workload can include debating in Parliament (hardly worth it these days
because I don’t often have the last word; so much for democracy!), visiting the
constituency for regular meetings with ethnic, religious and sexual minorities,
also campaigning both for and against the Cabinet (balance mate!) and
interpreting the tax and expenditure forms (as well as re-evaluating Labour
election results and instating the new figures) in a sensible and rational
fashion.
The Public
don’t take very well to criticism or rational political argument – as I’ve
discovered on countless occasions when I’ve tried to pull them up by the
bootstraps and turn them into crack white fighters for world liberty. Or just
well-behaved, non-racist normal people. They keep going on about how much do I
get paid in wages and perks, etc. IT’S NONE OF THEIR ROTTEN BUSINESS! They’ve
got the damn cheek to hector me about morals and getting crime and education
sorted out, then expect me to open my bank book for their inspection! The
cheeky little swines! And we must have SOME secrets in Labour Britain, despite
the introduction of the Freedom of Information Act. (Incidentally, even though
we can edit what we give them, you can’t have the Public knowing about State
business! After all, they’ve no security clearance, nor do they possess the
relevant wit, knowledge or experience to correctly analyse the sensitive data
asked for! Nobody wins with the FIA because it ends up empowering the Public
with cherry-picked facts to back up their rash arguments, for which we have to
spend extra time punishing them and stigmatising them. A truly sad circle of
misery for those losers, who then blame Labour!)
And I’ve not
been idle when away from the constituency either. I’ve had complaints that I
don’t spend enough time with Public people in the constituency office, but be
fair! Where else can I keep the big tanks with the pipes on top? Yes, that’s
right, I brew my own beer and I have to keep the works somewhere. I mean, you’d
hardly expect me to keep them in my own house!!
“Oh, come on
Johnathan”, you may say. “Brewing beer? Hardly Right-On is it?” But this is all in a good cause and it
allows another force on the market. For a start, it’s not like pub or shop
beer; not least because the profits go to Labour instead of organisations whose
top ranks don’t think of anyone’s wants, priorities and dogmas except theirs. And what a difference that makes!
My ‘nectar’ has
its own distinct flavour and texture. Made from a well-honed mixture of brandy
and Nesquik for that alternative choice, it’s a very special blend. (And for
non-alcoholics, I leave out the brandy). Two
Beers, One Leftwinger is the slogan here. And I’ve tried to patent all
this, so don’t you let me catch you stealing my formulae! (However, few people
bought any bottles of Johnathan’s Brown
Special from my stall at Party Conference. Not even the old guard socialist
drunks who basically live down the bloody pub! Which just proves they’re out of
touch with us real Labour people! Still, it was their tax money wasted
in Arts grants for installation artistic experiences, not mine. (Alright, the
drink failed, but you have to live with and accept failure in Labour. It’s part
of life and will never go away. You Public people should get used to that!))
Plus, I have
also made the effort to enter the JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER INTERNATIONAL MEDIA AND
GENERAL WISDOM ARCHIVE, in which I also keep the lawnmower and tool box. This I
also did on your behalf, not that you’d care. And while I was in there,
savouring past glories and disposing of irrelevant material which could on
later examination show me up to be in any way foolhardy, I found the following
priceless artefact. A couple of months back I was interviewed for a
documentary, which I broadcast from a van with a speaker on top as I drove down
predominantly white-bigoted districts
(ie – Tory voting middle classes and BNP voting so-called ‘working’ classes).
Many people at the time claimed that they had never heard anything quite like
that in their whole lives – indeed it was a groundbreaking, extra-insightful
piece highlighting the underclass of majority fanatics, I have to say. And so here is that special recording,
which I expect teachers to play again and again to their classes! Edu-tainment
repeated ad-nauseum to act as a bulwark against bigotry mate!
You’ll miss our
unique brand of wisdom and unbiased application of rational government policy
once we’re gone you know!
VOTE LABOUR!
THE JUSTICE REPORT: UNDERCLASS OF ANTISOCIAL ELEMENTS THREATEN THE NATION!
You
could be forgiven for thinking that all is more or less well in the United
Kingdom of Labour, but I'm afraid to say that you are wrong! (Well, you are
the Public, so I imagine you're used to it by now. SCATHING WIT, MATE!)
Underneath
the top layer of our firm national leadership lies a hotbed of beauracratic and
muddle-headed intrigue, the responsibilty of which wrongly lands the Government
in trouble. The upshot of these constant clashes between civil service
officials, bigoted politicians and public service chiefs results in the
country going to the dogs - WITH LABOUR GETTING THE BLAME!!!!
For
example, despite the fact that Labour ourselves have tried to ensure that the
running of the police force is conducted in a just, rational and effective
manner, with even top coppers chosen by premier Lefties, I can't remember what
the end of the sentence is supposed to be about now that it's been so long
since the beginning (delete this bit). And on top of that, the Government has
been CRIPPLED by police investigations as have local Labourites during
election times. And we thought we'd stopped the Nazis in 1945! Bloody Nick
Griffin!
I
embarked on my long crusade against the forces of 'law and order' back in 1959
by joining the Teddy Boys. But such wayward fascism didn't suit me (God,
they had a UNIFORM and no clear manifesto!), so I joined the Beatniks instead.
That was much better. I had my own black sweater, bongos and empty book (to
clear my mind) and I felt so proud. And so my authority and first hand
knowledge of barbarous police brutality after many years of activism, riots,
vandalism and yobbery saw me through (the records now deleted thanks to the 40
year rule, whereby after 40 years I operate the police computer when nobody's
looking and delete the accounts). And from that rich history are the
people who choose chief constables born!
But
I doubt it's helped. Despite such happenings as McPherson where we have tried
to beat the police into shape, there are still lapses of judgement by the
authorities insofar as they bother us and so-called 'criminals' as much as
whites in general, quarrelsome members of the Public or the BNP! My years of
throwing lighted gin bottles at riot cops and slashing police horses with
Stanly knives appear to have been wasted if this is the way some people are
going to behave! And surely the miners agree!
AND
NOW THEY'VE MURDERED POOR LITTLE FIONA JONES! Harassment
from the police over some piffling little fraud affair caused the gallant
Labour freedom fighter to be stripped of her seat in Parliament. Such a brave
fighter who never gave up in the face of adversity (because she's
LABOUR!!!!!!!) drank herself to death through the turmoil.
Well,
that's it! I've had my last straw mate! No more Mr. Nice Leftwinger! The gloves
are off and I'll show those bloody criminals I'm not a man to be tangled with.
LET THIS GO OUT TO ALL WHO SHALL LISTEN: TOMORROW (OR THE DAY AFTER MY
EXPENSIVE VIDEO MIXING DESK FOR THE PARLIAMENTARY OFFICE ARRIVES) I WILL TABLE
AN EMERGENCY MOTION, IN THE FORM OF A PRIVATE MEMBER'S BILL, TO PUSH FOR AN
INVESTIGATION INTO THE CALLOUS KILLERS OF MS. JONES! PLUS, TO SEE THAT JUSTICE
SHALL BE DONE BY LOCKING UP THE BE-UNIFORMED, BE-DESKED HOUNDERS FOR A LOT
LONGER THAN WE'D JAIL MOST NORMAL FELONS!
YES,
YES, I'M GOING, I'M COOKING MATE! THOSE COPPERS ARE ENJOYING DRIVING AROUND IN
THEIR NICE WARM SQUAD CARS OR SAT BY THE RADIATORS IN THEIR PLUSH OFFICES (PAID
FOR WITH GENEROUS ALLOWANCES THANKS TO LABOUR) AT THE EXPENSE OF A
VALUABLE WARRIOR OF LIBERTY! JUST HOW MANY LABOUR PEOPLE MUST THEY
TERRORISE BEFORE THEY SAY "HANG ON, WE'RE DRIVING THE WRONG PEOPLE TO AN
EARLY GRAVE HERE. THAT OLD MAN WAVING HIS WALKING STICK AT THOSE POOR
DEFENCELESS YOBS SHOULD BE FIRST IN LINE FOR OUR HEART-ATTACK CAUSING METHODS
MATE! PLEASE FORGIVE US LABOUR!"? And lo! we shall, for Labour are kind,
merciful.
So
know we know who's in the right and who's in the wrong. And so I can safely
leave you to reflect on just how lovely Labour are after all while I go and get
my teeth ungritted.
VOTE
LABOUR!
EXTRA: Just who
are the Police there to serve? The whining ungrateful Public or the benevolent open-minded social visionaries
(Labour)? EASY PEASY, MATE!
LABOUR ACHIEVEMENT SPOT:
The Labour website is the most up-to-date, insightful and most popular in
British politics (well, most popular to people who matter, though the Public show
their neo-Nazi credentials splendidly by clicking on the BNP site most of
all!). And so in that spirit let us take a quick peek at a page selected at
random.
The
Tony Blair diary looks to the future from the vantage point of last April. And
what do we see? A page of true facts as to why we are indeed ideologically and
tactically different from the Lib-Dems after all, as well as the heart-warming
mention of the Make Poverty History campaign! We’re responsible for Africa you
know, that responsibility running to £billions per year you know! So do what
the picture says and VOTE FOR IT!
NB
– Unfortunately the video links are dead, but we in Labour are great at using
our imaginations! I’ll do mine now: Oooo
splendid! We’ve thrashed the Lib-Dems in a two horse race down a splendidly Left Wing area! And thank you for
presenting us with this special bronze cup Mr. Oochi from Swaziland, as a reward
for Labour’s commitment to bringing African education standards up ever higher.
That’ll look nice by my bed!
See,
the system works!
VOTE LABOUR!
In
order for us all to see just how so-called ‘ordinary’ people think (and then
laugh at their stupidity and half-baked ignorance), let us welcome the PUBLIC-MINDED
PETE column.
THE “TAKE THAT, YOU WICKED LITTLE PRE-CONCEIVED IDEALISTS” FILES pt. 3,723:
Prepare to have your values challenged Public! Just because everything
doesn’t fit into your chauvinistic, button-down negative karma canopy of
bigotry, I shall have to spoil your day again.
WARNING FROM
JOHNATHAN: The following website is sexually explicit, shocking and even
nauseating enough to offend you, never mind granny. So much so that I shall
PERSONALLY push for it to be included in the school curricula in my
constituency! Yes, it’s THAT good!
IF YOU
WHY, OH
WHY, OH WHY?????!!!!!
There are some things which confuse even
our wise and noble brains! For example, we’ve substantially reduced the debts
of Third World dictatorships to us and poured dirty great binfuls of foreign
aid cash to bolster the infrastructures of crumbling social systems in Africa.
The Public, of course, moan and whine.
However,
the bleeding hypocrites had given until it hurt when bloody Bob Geldof was on
the earhole though, didn’t they?! And that was despite the fact that the 1984
Band Aid record profits, say, went straight into the pockets of the same kind
of people anyway!
You just can’t win with the
Public about! Then we get it in the neck yet again when we quite justifiably
give up on them!
WHY WE’RE RIGHT AND EVERYBODY ELSE IS WRONG
files (no. 4,984). Don’t mis-understand us!
DON’T TURN
YOUR BACK ON MY ROOTS MR. BLAIR! Alright, post-Socialist New Labour have
been the only Lefties recently electable, but fair’s fair!
(December 2) STOP PRESS –
SPOOKS IN VICIOUS
RACISM OVER CHRISTMAS BAN!
Well, the ‘British’ Public have blotted their
copybooks again! The white pigs are apparently in uproar over Left wing plans
to ban Christmas again this year and are set to blame the Muslims, according to
a Welsh news website.
Well, this doesn’t surprise us one bit! The British
people have spent hundreds of years subjugating the world in their maniacal
lust for imperialism. Then, after Labour heroically liberated the oppressed
peoples of the world, the by-now impotent whites are trying to once again deny
foreign people the right to be happy!
We mustn’t offend the Muslims by celebrating
Christmas! And now Tony Blair has to face the harassment of being called upon
to build bridges between Christians/Christian-moralled communities and the
Muslims. (It won’t work. One community is a savage, intolerant, easily
offended, domineering, demanding and petulant collection of inward looking
backwards people. How you can expect the Muslims of Britain to get along with these
fascists escapes me! Some of them vote BNP for God’s sake!)
The disgraceful degeneration of Britain can be found
here at
http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0200wales/tm_headline=%2Danti%2Dmuslim%2D-fear-over-christmas-ban%26method=full%26objectid=18197334%26siteid=50082-name_page.html
SLAP DOWN
THE FASCIST DAILY MAIL!
Some New Year’s Commandments for you from Johnathan Leftwinger
Any good Leftist should remember the 1934 Daily Mail spread titled Hurrah For The Blackshirts! The Right
should be constantly shamed for their criminal pasts, for unlike with much of
the Left-wing past, the crimes of the Right were never accidental unforeseen or
mis-understood by-products of an overall socially beneficial master plan! That’s
why the 1930s view that the danger from fascism was limited to ‘capping’ the
spread of Communism in Europe was so misguided – after all, there wasn’t much
wrong with Communism when you think about it! Bloody Vietnam, the Americans
were just as bigoted too!
Now that I have made that all too clear, let us take a look at a
few of the things from this hate rag and tear them down. It’s New Year’s Day
2007, good will to all persons mate! We don’t need no education - from the
likes of the outrageously biased Daily Mail! So in order to make their outlook
far more beautiful, I shall also offer them some New Year’s Resolutions to
follow, if they dare!
THIS
YEAR WE AT THE FASCIST DAILY MAIL PLEDGE TO GET OUR OWN TORY HOUSE IN ORDER
BEFORE SLAGGING OFF LEFTIES! The disgraceful Tory pervert Lord Lambton has quite rightly died.
And not even the fascists
at the Mail can hide his disgraceful activities! At the time his sordid
behaviour caused a rumpus, but that’s typical of the wretched Tories!
You wouldn’t get this under Labour – A notoriously promiscuous nob
caught in bed with two tarts (and a spliff) then resigning? Unthinkable! Why
ruin a perfectly good career over that? Typical Rightist intolerance! (Just
look at Tony Blair’s ‘a private matter’ attitude which is too noble for mere
Tories to follow!)
BECAUSE
WE’RE FASCISTS WE SHOULD NO LONGER OBJECT TO A VIP LEFT-WINGER GETTING HIS JUST
REWARDS! Tony Blair has done
his very best to economise, yet the Right wing watered-down Nazis revile him
for it. Indeed, they’d much rather enjoy complaining about the Labour
government taxing people til the pips squeak, not that that’s a bad idea, to
pay for the PM’s much
deserved breaks away from the Public-created atmosphere of scandal and
social unrest!
IF ONLY THE PUBLIC FOLLOWED MR. BLAIR’S LEAD THEN THERE’D BE LESS
TAX MONEY SO-CALLED WASTED!
THAT’S
ONE IN THE EYE FOR US SWIVEL-EYED FASCISTS! WE WANTED SO-CALLED FREEDOM, NOW WE
PROMISE TO CHOKE ON IT!
Fascists wanting liberty? What hypocrisy! But Labour quite cleverly called the
bluff of not just the fascist Daily Mail but also of the wider bigot community
as a whole! In a test case, we granted total freedom of action to consume
alcohol in a moderate and responsible fashion by letting pubs stay open 24
hours a day. And
what do the Public do? EMBARK ON DRUNKEN CRIMEWAVES INVOLVING RAPE AND
ASSAULT, TO NAME JUST TWO! Well, if that’s the way they’re going to behave when
we let them do as they please, then no wonder we superior persons in Labour
shall keep tight and justified control of everything, from immigration to
morals, from EU integration to progressive education! And that despite Public uproar!
WE
DAILY MAIL NAZIS RESOLVE NEVER TO PRINT DIATRIBES WHICH CAN BE PERCEIVED AS AN
INCITEMENT TO RACIAL HATRED! Because the fascist Daily Mail is a fascist fascist sheet of
horrific fascism in fascism’s true tradition (Now do you accept that it’s fascist?!), it’s typical to read
articles which demonise
people just for being foreign. Such sickening
supremacism is typical of the fascist Daily
Mail and also the Public at large. And they ARE at bloody large mate!
Don’t they all know that these 2.5 million refugees from
oppression and poverty have risked their lives, moving across treacherous
borders with little money to their names and living in squalid conditions?
That’s why they need creature comforts when here, eh? (You could say the same
about the Army, but they’re
just mechanised murder squads, so they should
suffer accordingly! LABOUR GET IT RIGHT BECAUSE WE’RE LEFT!)
Still, the
Daily Mail does get the occasional thing right……..
WE IN
THE FASCIST DAILY MAIL SHOULD CONTINUE TO PRESS FOR OUR TROOPS TO LEAVE IRAQ
AND AFGHANISTAN! AFTER ALL, THOSE MUSLIMS DON’T FEEL VERY LIBERATED AFTER ALL!
POXY BLOODY ‘DUBYA’ BUSH! Who could
put it better, particularly when the mis-understood Saddam
Hussein was brutally murdered by the sinister
new puppet regime in
Peace Out mate!
____________________________________________________________
The Jews have blotted their copybooks you know. Since they
snatched what is now modern Israel from the Palestinians’ tender care (or
something), they’ve gotten no more sympathy from us! Apart from the pogrom
survivors of the nasty white Europeans, they’ll get no more tea and sympathy
from us mate! As can be seen, here is
the new evidence which we and our activist comrades around the world use to
impartially weigh up the pros and cons to deliver our final considered and
unbiased verdict! (Indeed, the Jews being revealed as Nazis should be a culture
shock for you!) Nobody could doubt us! We’re
just that humble!
AND HERE’S ANOTHER UNBIASED MARXIST RABBLE
EDUCATION SPECIAL!
_____________________
LABOUR TEACHES YOUR CHILDREN!
Listen to one of Johnathan Leftwinger’s
splendid educational supplements, compiled in the Liberal spirit of Double-Education; You don’t just get
taught the relevant facts but also the correct way to interpret them! (That’s
what’s so great about Liberalism – we even do your thinking for you so you can
spend more quality time relaxing, making love to sundry unmarried persons from
the bottom classes, patronising militant homosexual festivals and holding a
rose between your thumb and upheld index finger whilst your head is tipped to
one side, appreciatively).
A must
for all schools, colleges and play-schools (the younger the target audience,
the greater the psychological impact), your hemp-addled brain will instantly
connect with the straightforward, no nonsense approach to dealing with the
ignorant.
To
order the full anthology of three 3-hour recordings (1: 3,000 Reasons Why White Westerners Are A World Disgrace, 2: Socialism And All Its Leftist Offshoots – The
Popular Grassroots Choice And How To Sell It To The Sceptical Public, 3: The World’s Children Are The Future Of The
Global World – The Full Story (And How To Repeatedly Tell Them In Easy Stages)),
just send £798 to the Johnathan Leftwinger Foundation Learn-By-Rote Office,
Leftwinger Towers (temporarily the NCP Car Park), Braishfield. Yes, it’s THAT
cheap! And you get LOTS of lovely film of things like fat Americans, starving
Africans, the Vietnam War, Hitler/George W. Bush montages, race riots and rainforest
destruction – plus lots of lovely
interviews with such neutral fact-mongers like Ken Livingstone, the Muslim
Council Of Britain switchboard operator, Fidel Castro and Neil Kinnock!
Hear a
short trailer here: STOP THE IGNORANT RACISTS!
EVIL, VICIOUS
CHRISTIAN PUTS WORDS INTO MOUTH OF REAL MUSLIM! – Special Shocking
Exclusive!
Well, Christmas is a time for fascists and
the ignorant, but this takes the cake! News has reached me of a most horrific,
offensive and deeply sacrilegious video of a so-called Islamic ‘extremist’,
supposedly uttering exhortations of peace and harmony. CHRISTIAN VALUES?! IT’S
HERE ON BRITISH INTERNET COMPUTERS WHICH CAN THEORETICALLY BE SEEN AT ANY
PUBLIC LIBRARY OR IN OTHER PUBLIC PLACES, LIKE ON THE TUBE ON SOME RACIST’S
LAPTOP! IN FULL VIEW OF SENSITIVE MEMBERS OF SOCIETY?! BLIMEY!
Yes,
the self same type of people who brought the world The Crusades and who today
still worship a man whose body rotted away in ancient times (How absolutely ghoulish!), yes, yes yes, those self
same Bible-bashers are putting things up on You Tube which can be deemed deeply
offensive to Muslims. It bloody well will be, you can be sure of that under
Labour!
Muslims
have to put up with Christmas being rubbed in their faces. And I don’t care
what Anila Baig of The Sun says about blending in, I know Muslims who are
always ranting and quoting the Koran. And they can’t be upset now, can they.
Only a
top quality Leftist would read this site. After all, so-called ‘decent’ people
are repelled instantly at our words of wisdom! Hit too close to home no doubt.
So I would say there is little risk of ignorant non-Left people watching the
video from here and glorying in its bigotry. They just feed off the fire,
that’s their trouble.
Left
Wing persons are sensitive people, battling for equality and niceness. And so
we empathise with any Muslims who would feel put out at the thought of being
led by gentle Jesus rather than the non-cowardly, beefcake Muhammed (pbuh)! And
so, under a brown paper bag, here is the culture-rocking obscenity: RACIST FILTH!
_____________________________________________________________
AND BY THE WAY: This
type of thing is why we in Labour want You Tube and its ilk BANNED from British
computers! We can’t have Islamophobia or political dissent rocking Labour’s
peaceful Britain now, can we! Such REBELRY is on the up in Britain and you
wouldn’t catch anyone from Labour behaving like that! So it must be quashed,
it’s so dangerous!
…AND NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!
Mr. Leftwinger is such a great man (so much so that I would very
much like to touch his testicles in the shower if I was a homosexual), but not
even He likes to do anyone’s thinking for them! (Just tell them if you’re right
or wrong).
Indeed,
the age old conundrum of Left Wing tenets colliding is always a must-avoid.
Everybody knows that global Left Wing politics is by now a well interwoven
quilt of smooth brainyness, all loose ends tied and bigots smashed (or even
killed if they’re that much of a danger to morality and decency).
Indeed,
when gays and Muslims collide the obvious thing to perceive is incompatibility.
But ooh no no nonono, surely whatever the Lefties back cannot possibly be at
odds or incomprehensible? But they are! Are not incomprehensible! Damn.
How? Well, send your answers to the Press
Office copperation@supanet.com !
And Mr. Leftwinger will kindly inform us which one of the answers is correct.
He’s never wrong you know!
Right Wingers are Just So Pathetic !
In America, Labour’s counterpart,
the Democratic Party, has won a few by-elections. This means that many of the
American People have seen the error of their ways and handed back power to
Democratic congressmen after the racists in the Republican Party stole it from
them.
While the botched War On Terror
(my Left Wing trans-Atlantic cousins would have made an even bigger row if it
was done properly) continues, George Bush shall be punished for his
dictatorship and his warmongering.
And just like with the late
lamented Militant Tendency
in
This American website does a splendid job
of archiving data on some of the recent protest activities which were specially
formulated to show up George Bush and his fascists for the scum they are. It’s
educational, as many of the Communist books I bought from many US freedom
rallies prove! A bit of a counterbalance to the biased media there. (Come to
think of it, we could do with a bit of that here actually). However, it does a
flimsy job of presenting such good, wise and insightful projects for freedom
and righteousness as somehow bad!
But that’s the topsy-turvy world of the
Right for you! No wonder the Tories aren’t even worth the dirt on my shoe!!
The Good Old Days
With
Johnathan Leftwinger
Now
look mate. We of the Left aren’t always peaceful, tolerant and kind. We
ourselves can be roused beyond our control to hit out at aggressors; though
it’s alright if it’s us doing it but if we catch the Public being violent, even
in retaliation or self defence, it’s clang-bang time mate – we can’t have
antisocial behaviour!
But when we Leftists have a
rumble, it’s for all the right reasons,.not just for reasons of thuggery or
other Public-minded barbarities! In fact, I’m surprised the Public dare show their
faces in my constituency office, let alone complain about Labour’s crime
policies! That’s hypocrisy of the highest order – trashing the towns and then
whining about it! We in Labour don’t instigate these crimewaves, so it’s up to
them in the Public to bring up their children properly!
Anyway,
thuggery and barbarism for political purposes is one of the great unspoken
chapters of recent Labour history. From the organised heavies on picket lines
to rioting students to supporting terrorists to creative criminal damage, we in
Labour were right there in the front lines, yobbing for the forces of good over
evil. (Not like the British National Party – bloody skinhead hooligans they
were! Mayhem on the terraces mate, not a pretty sight! God knows some of the Public
can be as thick as they are to vote for them! But then they are white Nazis to
a man!)
I myself had an enjoyable few
run ins. Many a policeman was splattered with paint and many a window was
broken! Once I remember mucking in with some activist friends when the National
Front dared to march through a nearby town. That was an incitement to crime and
vandalism if ever I saw one! And indeed it was, because we raced there and got
our half-bricks and lighted gin bottles lobbed at them before they could even
pick up a single missile themselves!
The nearby cops intervened and arrested MANY OF US as well as some of
the NF lot! That proved to me yet again that Thatcher’s goons were on the side
of fascism and chaos! Apart from being banged up and then put up in court the
next day, it was the most invigorating 37th birthday I ever
had!
And I
enjoyed a spell of duty in the Middle East, oh yes. I was proud to be amongst
the brave British freedom fighters who lined the streets of Baghdad, ready to
face the onslaught of Western imperialist destruction! ‘Human Shield’ we may
have been, but we did our bit to protect the poor Iraqis, who to this day show
their gratitude for Labour’s proud act of liberation!
So remember Public – next time
you come round to have a pop at me, don’t push me too hard – MY RECORD AS A
MEAN STREET FIGHTER FOR SOCIALISM AND EQUALITY MEANS I’M NOT JUST HANDY IN A
CIVIC WONDERMAN TOILING FOR THE GOOD OF ALL PERSONKIND THROUGH THE BALLOT BOX
KIND OF A WAY! (AS JOHN ‘TYSON’
PRESCOTT KNOWS ONLY TOO WELL!)
AN AMERICAN LEFTIST IN
Here are some wonderful picks
to highlight the diverse world of Left Wing politics from across the Pond – so
misunderstood and hated despite the fact that us in the West educate the People
with our factual ideologies 24 hours per day……….
Instant Leftist
Soundbite Machine
The American Communist Party (The raw material from
which the various Leftisms are refined!)
_________________________________________________
WHY BLAME ‘THE BLAME
CULTURE?????’
Johnathan Leftwinger puts Roger D’Roger
of The Spectator in his place at his
place
Many members of the Public are
adverse to the fact that many of us in Labour do not hold them in very high
esteem. I myself am a Public-Sceptic because, at the bottom line, they don’t
really know what they want or how to get it. They expect Labour to follow them
around in circles, blame us for those circles and then they blame us again when
we get bored of this and start leading them somewhere. They are actually rarely
in the right and when they are they lack the wit to see the irony of it. Then
they whine to any media outlet which will print their turgid little letters to
complain about a ‘blame culture’ ruining the country! My God, the temerity!
But a ‘blame’ or ‘compensation’
culture only works when the right persons are blamed, such as so-called
‘innocent’ people like criminals denied drugs in jail, the bosses of building
workers who can’t be bothered to lift heavy objects as they were trained to or
coffee vendors who neglect to warn their customers that their drinks can scald
if handled incorrectly. Serious disfigurements can result from such accidents,
and somebody has to pay; that’s pure
logic. The money has to come from
somewhere!
However, the Public come along with
their smart-alec opinions, bitching on as they do that crime victims or the
freezing elderly should get the money! God Almighty! CRIME VICTIMS? Just
because they got beaten up or someone broke in and stole their video THEY THINK
THAT THEY SHOULD GET PAID FOR IT!! That’s hardly a day’s work is it, get it
into perspective! Anyway, that’s something for the insurance company to sort
out; ditto for any dead pensioners who (sadly) pop off during the winter.
Another ‘blame’ subject with which
the Public confuse themselves is in the area of school bullying, a rising
problem which is just pure coincidence that it is rising sharply at the same
time that New Labour have been in office. Calls to Childline have risen 12% in the past year alone, up from over
32,500 children calling for counselling last year. The charity say that calls
are at their highest ever level. Tut.
But
who is to blame?
Such alarming statistics paint a
disturbing picture of the state of our society, ie – The Public. So therefore
The Public are to blame for school bullying! I bet you’re surprised, but it’s
only logical. We’re not doing it are
we? Labour bullying people – what a ridiculous notion!
Further proof is provided by my own
encounter with so-called ‘Trendy Liberal’ teachers at the local comprehensive.
They’re about as far removed from The Public and their bigotry as you can get!
According to them the fact is that they are not to blame in any manner
whatsoever for children under their care attacking the others. And as that
exonerates them, that leaves the parents – in other words GUESS WHO?! The usual
bloody culprits are caught red-handed again!
So with that in mind, how can you
possibly blame Labour for the distinct breakdown of control in the schoolroom?
The Public shouldn’t be allowed to raise children; they don’t take any notice
of Labour’s parental advice for a bloody start mate! Talk about blinkers, God
almighty!
But the Public just go haywire,
such is their instability. Everybody always blames Labour! Just because we don’t
like teachers punishing bullies, how can that correlate with the sharp rise in
school bullying? All they need is
understanding before they go off the rails in adulthood, it’s just a plain and
undeniable fact! And add to that the fact that we like to extend the hand of
friendship to bullies to prevent much serious criminality later on just riles
the swivel-eyed Masses who would rather see every single ‘wrongdoer’ rot for
years in England’s deepest and dankest dungeon. And for that they risk their childrens’
own safety! They’d rather deny a school bully the opportunity to see the light
and say “Thank you Labour! We are
loved after all, so now I can stop my reign of terror!” Shame and Punishment
won’t get us that, which is why we don’t believe in it!
And if that policy is a failure, as
the Public claim, it is due to their spanners in the works! If so, then I can
say to them that we’ve lost the war on school bullying; let them live with the
shame! (a pattern repeated when we lost the war on drugs)
The Public like to moan about
victimhood; their alleged victimhood and denial of victimhood to other people
is their whining point, something I sadly have to put up with. But the REAL
victim is Labour, who shall suffer at the polls at the hands of a spiteful, unenlightened
and holier-than-thou Public!
But whenever WE try to claim a
bumper crop of money for ourselves as a result we get howled down by them! And
they wonder why we can’t stand the bloody sight of them?!
SCANDALOUS
BOOK REVEALS SENSITIVE INFORMATION WHICH COULD ROCK THE LEFT WING WORLD (AND
NOT IN AN ORGY OF MUSIC KIND OF A WAY!)
By
Roger Prig of the Socialist Student
Worker
Disastrous news hits us that a startling new book, set for
release next month, will contain information so powerful that all the Socialist
or ‘PC’ governments of the world may well be brought down in one fell swoop!
According to Thorny
Secrets of Geo-Political Affairs there exists a shadowy global conspiracy
which purports to organise and regulate all Left Wing governments and
organisations. Apparently the WORLD LEFT ORGANISATION came into being when the
Soviet Union fell and has filled the vacuum of world Leftist affairs and
influence ever since. Here are just a few claims made by the book for which the
WLO is held responsible:
High
Taxation, Low Representation; Anybody
knows that righteous persons of a Left Wing persuasion are paradoxically rather
unlikely to win successive free/fair elections. So systems of government must
be rigged, elections fiddled, boundaries gerrymandered, electorates misled and
demographics altered to let the best person win. Trusting the Public’s
intelligence is not enough (God, is it ever?!).
Rule
From The Top (whilst pretending it’s from the bottom); High-minded
politicians and civil servants collude under the same mindset to lock a
country’s politics to an unshakeable course, regardless of whether such a
course is pragmatic or popular. Political oppositions are weakened by isolation
from the traditional Establishment ‘Club’, hence the British Conservatives’
gallop Leftwards, erroneously seen as the way to regain popularity after its
calamitous 1997 General Election defeat.
Mass
Population Transfer; Inspired by Stalin’s many examples
of moving entire peoples about, non-Caucasian immigrants have been encouraged
to ‘fill up’ white Western countries whilst allowing a ‘drain’ of whites and
intellectuals (duff ones, not Lefties) to take place simultaneously. Divide And
Conquer is the oldest strategy in the world. Our high-minded shame over the
British Empire and slavery was one good catalyst, leading to downplaying of
British culture and heritage as a consequence.
Installation
of a federal European system of international government;
The EU was originally conceived to ‘stand’ against America, despite the more
local ‘threat’ of Communism. The end of the Cold War saw the wrong side fall,
so it’s more important than ever that Western-minded cultures, governments and
nations be locked into an Eastern-minded political theocracy, for we are pious
and pure, that is our culture and indeed guiding force! After years of European
strife since 1917, the right people will AT LAST rule Europe!
Policing
The World; A good way to send troops to
places is in the guise of liberating armies. Then we can ‘participate’ in a
nation’s reconstruction. For example,
the sending of soldiers to Bosnia was cheered from the rooftops by Lefties because
we liked the way the system was implemented – by standing the armies between
the two sides and letting them get shot to bits. No murdering there you know,
and it lets the world know how good we all are. (However, the EVIL RIGHT WING
NAZIS IN THE WHITE HOUSE INVADED AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ ‘PROPERLY’, THUS SENDING
US INTO APOPLEXY! GOOD JOB A HANDFUL OF TROOPS ARE BEING KILLED EACH YEAR, LETS
US PLAY MERRY HELL IN REVENGE FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE POOR MUSLIMS!)
But this
is all rubbish isn’t it? The same kind of
far-right extremist fascist who wrote this drivel say this: ‘Standards of
education, public service or national economies looked after by Left Wing
governments are such a shambles that it’s surprising that they can keep a grip
on any kind of master plan! They never stop arguing or playing rooster with the
nation’. SO THAT PROVES WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH THIS CONSPIRACY BOOK THEORY IS.
COMPLETE LIES. UTTER TOSH. PURE DRIVEL. And as such it will be banned tomorrow,
it’ll never be sold, the ignorants will never know. Never know the lies I mean,
never know the lies to be disturbed by them. Nobody exposes us, I have to say.
KWIK (WELL,
KINDA) KWIP: Many
fascists who infest British society say that organised ethnic crime has shot up since Labour
threw open the doors of
But I
suggest that the British are pots calling the kettle rather dark in colour
there because crime and immigration were PIONEERED by the savage
pre-Enlightenment British!
Look,
crime in olden days Britain (Pah! Not a single black face!) rose to such a
pitch that boatloads of poor misunderstood criminals were deported to
Australia, OFTEN FOR GOOD! And they destroyed the bloody Zulus mate and kept
the continent for themselves.
SO NEXT TIME THESE BIGOTED BLOODTHIRSTY
TYRANNICAL RACISTS DARE TO CRITICISE LABOUR IMMIGRATION AND JUDICIAL POLICIES
JUST YOU REMEMBER THAT SCANDAL MATE, SO SHUT YOUR FACES! YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL
TO BE KIND YOU KNOW!
Vote
Labour!
Somebody from the Public emailed us today.
The message was so vile that we were physically ill. Here is the proof that
such a vile and shadowy organisation still holds some sway in our fair nation:
Dear Mr. Leftwinger,
On the morning after the Secret Agent
documentary aired on BBC 1, we were greeted by the Sun headline ‘Bloody Nasty People’. In addition to
the Sun, other newspapers ran special features based on the revelations of the
programme, particularly on its chairman’s comments regarding Islam.
Now, the morning after the Channel Four
show on the Muslim mosques we saw and heard nothing from the media. The clerics
and followers of hate really were on ghastly form, even the Muslim Lord, but we
heard nothing but the Jade Goody story, which was ironic because her words and
actions on the Big Brother set were very tame by comparison.
I think that if Labour politicians and
lackeys are going to make a fuss and tighten laws they should at least deal
with the worst cases first, regardless of ethnicity or belief. Particularly as
the British National Party cracked down on its own thugs and their hate
speeches years ago.
There must be even-handedness in all of
this. Indeed, I would have expected at least one newspaper headline to have
read something like ‘Irritating Sadistic
Loudmouthed Amoral Monsters’!
Defending the BNP?? Standing by
Jade Goody and her evil cretinous, hateful crew of barbaric harridans and
wretches?? Mocking the Muslims??? Showing disdain for our elected Labour
representatives and their helpmates, thereby showing contempt for the very
edifice of liberal democracy?????? THE SWIVEL-HEADED BIGOT!!!!! Therefore, we have not printed this
fascist’s name in order to protect him from attack, though Allah knows why we
bother with scum like him.
Only safe organisations
friendly to the benevolent Labour Party have his details on file, so we can
punish him in the appropriate manner for his incitement to racial hatred. You gotta have justice mate!
And so
while this evil venomous rat is being justly punished by our impartial and
all-encompassing judicial system, the rest of you white slugs can just listen
to this masterful
address to put you all in your place once and for all!
SPECIAL
REPORT
We don’t normally read the Sun. As Ben Elton
so rightly put it back in 1989, the Sun is ‘politically perverted’ and
‘racist’; except when our learned chum David Blunkett’s column appears,
obviously.
But today we make an exception.
Today’s big news (January 30, 2006) is that the white people are inherently racist, other than the ones who voted for Shilpa Shetty to win Big Brother, obviously. Alright, it’s no news to us in Labour, Labour being the foremost authority on pure hard facts and fertile intellectual thinking ground, but it’s still something worth rubbing the Public’s faces into.
White kids calling minority children names in the playground is awful and horrific. It leads, as the Sun says, to alienated communities and even Islamic terrorism. (So the white people ARE to blame for Islamic extremism in young Muslims! YESSS!)
Alright, minority youths do the same back, with the State on their side, but that’s neither here nor there. WHITE PEOPLE ARE THE HOST COMMUNITY, THE HOTELIERS IF YOU LIKE, SO TO SPEAK. WE MUST LOOK AFTER OUR NEW PEOPLE! No wonder there is a disproportionate rise in coloured hate crime, the figures we won’t bore you with here.
God, these racists! I mean, alright, any discrimination based solely on somebody’s race is pretty stupid, but we’re talking white people here - and as such it is our moral duty to over-react for the common good by acting like there are no laws in place at all to combat this scourge of our times! And it’s to this end that Johnathan Leftwinger MP this afternoon locked himself in his constituency office with his electric guitar and Minidisc recorder, not letting himself out until he had another hard-hitting, Public-slapping mega-track to release.
We can’t have bigots you know; well, white ones anyway. And so we present, as a supplementary audio accompaniment to official Labour Party race policy, A WELL PLAYED, WELL SUNG, WELL CRAFTED, 100% MUSICALLY ORIGINAL DEFENCE OF ONE OF THE MOST PERSECUTED AND HELPLESS MINORITIES OF ALL!
As
Trevor Phillips says, we teach our children how to be evil white racists,
corrupting every decent worldwide origin-type person we come into contact with.
SO LET’S CRUSH THE PSYCHOTIC, SWIVEL-EYED ‘SPOOK’ BASTARDS ONCE AND FOR ALL
WITH THIS AURAL MASTERPIECE (AND A HEFTY THREAT OF
PUNISHMENT)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ADDITIONAL
MATERIAL: The secondary recording Mr. Leftwinger made
in his office. Designed to answer his critics, this secondary track lampoons
all those who refuse to bow to the superiority of Labour culture due to their
ignorance and vile mindsets. (And it was recorded live – he stood at the open
window whilst he was making this record, just to make sure the bigots learned
something even against their intransigent will! Hee hee, gottem!)
Follow Up News: THE
EVIL HOUSE OF SHAME AND RACISM - POLICE INTERVIEW VILE RACIST PEOPLE OF THIS
NATION, GOD, THE BASTARDS SHOCKER!!!!
I quite like that sensationalist headline of
mine you know. I know that we in the Left are always whingeing about
sensationalism, but not now it’s done by us! And that erudite statement just
proves it!
Due to evil white racism
on Big Brother, the police have now launched an extensive enquiry to ensure
that the BEASTS responsible for the hounding to death (it could’ve been, just
think on it!!!!!) of Shilpa Shetty are punished in the appropriate manner.
Racism and rape are the only crimes worth
bothering about these days because unlike most others they’re not victimless
crimes. And traffic offences. Everyone’s to blame in some measure for normal
crimes, but rape and racism are the most evil and so thus must be cracked down
upon, even to the detriment of pursuing other crimes. Stands to reason.
TOUGH ON CRIME, TOUGH ON THE CAUSES OF
CRIME! So think on THAT next time your windows are broken or you get mugged –
The system DOES work after all!
VOTE
LABOUR!
OHYAY,
OHYAY (or however this wretched old English is spelt!)! COME ALL YE FAITHFUL TO
THIS SPECIAL BLOG
TO COMBAT PREJUDICE AND UNDERSTANDING!
I
mean HELP FOSTER
UNDERSTANDING! Damn!
_______________________________________
Johnathan Leftwinger
considers himself to be the Sgt. Pepper of politicians, even Left Wing ones. So
it's quite apt that he goes on this little jaunt...
Johnathan
Leftwinger
Revises some Beatles classics.
Hello Public. I've just been playing my old Beatles records. That was a trip down memory lane. Those songs were the soundtrack of a generation. Somehow everyone remembers where they were the day they first heard Sgt. Pepper. I was in the Common Room debating Adam Ant's birthday.
Excellent as these songs were, it is time to bring them into line with 21st Century Thinking. Let's make the old standards the soundtrack for today's generation of directionless youngsters, with me, Johnathan Leftwinger, saviour of Leftist youth everywhere. I'm just that humble.
First class rocking there! I should think if Mr. McCartney
himself heard these anthems when the young people sing them (as they doubtless will),
I would say he'd be more than a little impressed with the quality. Which just
proves it. And I am special you know. So much so I’m highly misunderstood.
Indeed, when I was a boy I was nearly put in that special hospital; And I was
nearly carted off again when I used to have my John Lennon primal scream
sessions in the cloakroom when I used to work at that nursery. Which just
proves it.
And because both myself and Messrs. Lennon and McCartney are
all premier Lefties, I should say the blend between their world and
mine has been seamless. And it all helps to wash away the guilt that any
decent British person will be feeling about the Empire, which is part of the
punishment for being white, fascist, boring old us. Which is all too
reasonable.
VOTE LABOUR!
SIDE POINT: Well, that’s just TYPICAL of Bush’s fascist USA! The
Nazis come to town and the LEFTIES are arrested, just for attacking the
police sent there to keep order!
FOR GOD’S SAKE! THE
LEFT WERE THERE TO ASSIST JUSTICE,
NOT HINDER IT! CHRIST, THOSE WICKED GUNG-HO FASCIST-KISSERS, NO WONDER THE
MUSLIMS ARE MASSACRED BY THE HUNDREDWEIGHT!
There, that should stir up a hornets’ nest, right bigots?!!
Right
To Reply – Mr. Leftwinger answers His
critics.
I
have often been accused of ignoring the concerns of my constituents. Well, only
when those concerns are irrelevant, daft and offensive to modern political
sensibilities, you’ve got to give me credit for that. But just for once I will
indeed respond to one of the Public’s concerns; Just one mind! I don’t like my
time being wasted, so make it a good one.
Dear Mr. Leftwinger,
The housing estate in
which I live has undergone a radical transformation. For the duration of the
time in which I have resided at my abode, the frequency and severity of
criminal activity has accelerated to a degree which is by now totally
intolerable.
Since the year of 1983 I
have suffered many automobile thefts, vandalism to my property and physical
assaults on the part of an ever-growing undesirable community of brutal young
men. The efforts of the local constabulary of late have become increasingly
ineffective at halting the problems. Furthermore, I cannot effect an escape
from this trap by selling my property. Ergo: I am trapped and unhappy.
Upon visiting the local
councillors and MP, I have been informed, quite erroneously if I may say so,
that “These people are bored mate! If all they’ve got to look forward to is
violence, then well, they’ll perpetuate it. And you can’t arrest people for
boredom! Police state, mate, if you go down that road.”
Upon my last visit to you,
I was informed that “Yes, you were assaulted. I can see the swelling on your
face. Yes, I agree that such violence is unacceptable. But justice did take its
course, he got 3 months suspended. The system works mate, system works. And anyway,
they’ve got no youth clubs to call their own. I want those thugs playing
ping-pong and drinking Fanta, all harmless. But the so-called decent people
have monopolised every youth club I’ve thrown up! No thugs are welcome in there
now. Cosy Daily Mail, Sunday cricket, country pub Middle Class, mate, they’re
to blame”, and with that you terminated my interview.
I consider your entire
attitude towards myself and my problems to have been totally offensive. You
seem prepared to place the welfare of your constituents below the effects of
your practised dogma. As well as that, I consider it to be misplaced; For
example, these people are not bereft of activity. Indeed, do they not now have
satellite television, video game machines, video recorders, personal music
players, internet computers and such-like at their immediate disposal? I
suppose they are just ‘too bored’ to make the effort to switch these devices
on! I also suppose that they are also by now too lazy to play a game of
football, cricket or rounders. And that is not to mention the local culture, at
whatever the level of sophistication. To phrase my opinion in your vernacular,
“Thugs are thugs cos they wanna be mate!”
I should like to point out
that I have experienced no tangible net benefit for my support of you or the
Labour Party and will henceforth once more transfer my suffrage to the
Conservative Party at the time of the next ballot.
LEFTY SEZ:
What gives you the right to
criticise me, eh? I’ve spent the last 45 years refining my world view, getting
the bugs out and giving it a polish. Nothing can possibly be wrong if it’s had
45 years spent on it now, can it! There is a limit to my patience you know son!
We’ve all spent 45 years getting it right in New Labour you know. And if you’re
too oblivious to notice the benefits, then I feel pity for you, I really do!
Thugs are thugs cos of social
problems mate! That’s what I’d say in my vernacular! They want a life of fun,
excitement and danger, like in the old caveman days or when they stood on the
street, bravely fighting for socialist principles. But in today’s cosy,
button-down, dazy-snorey, Sunday lawn mowing boring dead society they’ve got no
outlet! Your Nintendos only go so far in sorting that lot out mate. Show a bit
of understanding and the problems might start to vanish! I saw that 45 years
ago!
And what’s all this dangerous
nonsense about voting Tory? I mean, alright, they’re not as bad as they were
because they’re learning our way of things, but bloody hell! Have you got NO
SENSE OF CIVIC RESPONSIBILITY? WE’VE GOT THE BLOODY BNP TO CRUSH AND WE NEED
EVERY VOTE WE CAN HAVE! Just cos you’ve been punched and had your car nicked
you act the bloody martyr! Get a grip!
ENEMY PROPAGANDA -
A dark and murky look at other points of view. BE WARNED: these people are WRONG!
A
War On Terror must at least be fought correctly, says academic
Britney British (Ugh! What a
nauseating name!)
First it was Goebbels keeping a diary,
now this sub-fascist berk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOME TO THE LEFT!