Even More Leftist
Righteousness!
Teach Your Children
even more of the reasons why the country (and indeed the Federal Europe) is
best served by the in-touch paladins of Political Correctness……
ELECTION PLEDGE:
IF YOU ALL REDEEM YOURSELVES BY VOTING LABOUR,
WE’LL POSSIBLY NOT SEE YOU AS BIGOTS SO MUCH IN THE FUTURE!
And that’s most probably GUARANTEED under a new
term with Gordon Brown!
OH YES PUBLIC, THE NATION’S AT STAKE MATE! We’ve had 13
lucky years of top-notch Left Wing goodness and I’m not having you throw it
all away just because you’re too daft to notice the benefits! I’m sorry but I
must be commanding and authoratitive in showing up your faults! Only then
will the mote fall for you all to vote for the purest party in the land!
There’s a tough battle to
be won for hearts and minds – even those
superior ones of other Lefties! I mean, bloody hell, for fellow
bastion of Red sanity Manish Sood to attack Gordon Brown for being the worst PM
in Labour history, I mean… for God’s sake!
An
‘overcrowded’ Britain, rising crime, corruption and National Insurance, wrecked
pensions and a nation in recession – THERE’S
NEVER BEEN A BETTER LIFE UNDER A LABOUR GOVERNMENT!!!! (Well,
you know what I mean.)
And what about these other
recent social successes, such as YET
ANOTHER ENLIGHTENED JUDGE GIVING WAYWARD YOUNG PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF A
MUCH-DESERVED DOUBT? And not to mention our
fabulous EU membership allowing Polish women to have abortions galore on the
NHS?! It’s all about freedom of choice and Labour feels free to GIVE!
We’re the caring party!
And seeing
as we’ve also SMASHED
the FASCISM of patriotism and re-defined
it as love for the EU, then decided
to import masses of fresh Labour voters to take your places, I THINK I
CAN SAY WE’VE
DESTROYED ‘BRITISHNESS’ FOR EVER!
VOTE
LABOUR! Now we’ve
got you suitably under the thumb, you can’t get away now! Not
while we can subvert Democracy by any means possible anyway! It’s all
for your own good as well as Left Wing Sh*tTM !
Do
you remember your first time?
I do, and it was fantastic! I was with Olive-r, my first enlightened non-gender
specific sexual partner! (plus some love on a good day.)
It was a beautiful day in 1964. I
went down to the polling booth, having lectured him-her at great length on how
to cast a vote. After an embarrassing
moment as we went in, we set to work.
(The man said ‘One at a time please gentlemen’, to which we shouted, “How
dare you! We’re proud and we’re together!” Even now I feel embarrassed for that
bloke being so ignorant!)
Anyway, when we came out she
manfully shouted, “Just what the bloody hell do you think you were doing?” To
which I said “Voting Communist. I thought we agreed only the best would do!”
Turns out I voted Conservative and then ruined the ballot paper. “No no no”, I
said, “ I crossed out the Tory fascist in protest, then put a big red tick by
the rightful candidate!”
But still, at least I got to spend a
couple of days in the ‘gulag’, our cupboard under the stairs pleasure palace! But
you have to admit I was right in essence, which is the true reason why I
deserve your vote - as we all do in Labour! VOTE LABOUR!
VOTE LABOUR – It’s crunch time Public, and it’s for your own
good that you’re not the ones crunched!
Even
Golden Gordon knows how trying the Public are, but at the end of the day we
have a responsibility for running the nation.
You can’t expect us to run out on
our duty after 13 years of successful work, hence our
plotting with the Lib-Dems to help us seize the balance of power even if the
Tories win! That’s just how selfless we are mate, wanting to join forces with
likeminded
politicos for the national good, not to mention locking
Britain into a dictatorial EU Superstate without permission!!
TWELVE
YEARS of pure New Labour goodness! How can the Public be so stupid as to
force us to abort our country’s moral
and social renewal?!
It’s perfectly simple you bigoted women! You may think the
country’s been wrecked by years of political correctness. But that’s only
the part where we’ve gutted the place which the Reactionaries love so much! Now
we move on to rebuilding a bright, new, fresh-smelling Utopia for us all! Not
just the British but EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!
You don’t want to kick out Labour after the job’s
only been half done! But that’s typical of the bodge-merchant Public, not
wanting to see things done properly. No wonder we don’t trust them and prefer
foreign workers over them!
We’ve
also done a bloody good job on the NHS! Alright, those
disappointing, whingeing doctors and nurses need a good culling. But at least
the gay sex, admin’ and modern art departments give good value enough to remain
unmolested! OUR
RESTRUCTURING WORKS! VOTE LABOUR!
…And to
think even other
Lefties hate us for our so-called warmongering, scientist-killing,
worker-devaluating ways! God! And to think we
destroyed the fascist and oppressive sense of British national pride on
their behalf!
by the
Noxious Left Wing Treason Information Exchange
“Are shady Communist
backgrounds, rampant paedophilia and Islamic infiltration enough to put you off
Labour? Well, add drug profiteering and politically-correct undermining of
Christian values and culture to the lengthening list of warped 'alternative'
proclivities!
Never mind
the BNP, there's nothing British about Labour!
As the
Reds edge ever closer to electoral oblivion, it's proved just how much of a
hopeless case Labour always were. Indeed, they can't even make a token effort
to serve the country immediately before an election! So you know just how
incompetent and uninterested in normal, decent people and values they always
were!”
WE’RE
ALSO BLOODY GOOD AT LYING AS WELL!
It’s noble to lie, as well you
know! Eggheads say it’s a natural defence mechanism and we in Labour love
mechanisms! We’re
always trying to use technology for our own ends!
And lying is good for efficiency
too. I mean, if we win an election on the back of telling the Public we’re
going to do this and that, it’ll only save valuable money and person-hours by
not doing it after all! Leaves
more resources for stuff we want!
VOTE LABOUR –
there are forces at play way beyond your feeble comprehension Public! That’s
probably why you’re not on our level!
VOTE LABOUR – We’ve got twelve
years of ongoing achievement behind us!
Oh yes mate; if you
want your misunderstood Muslims to be allowed to throw shoes regardless of who
gets hurt, your
taxpayers punished for burning rubbish whilst sex
beasts roam free, then LABOUR’S YOUR OBVIOUS COMMON-SENSE CHOICE!
Just admire the ever-growing
pile of evidence even now! How could you think Left Wing Sh*t could
ever fail?!
BEHOLD THE GLORIOUS MAJESTY OF LEFT WING ‘BOLLOCKS’
– Nobody else does!
GENERAL ELECTION SET FOR MAY 6!
Yessss!
Let’s get it out of the way before
getting back to business as usual! The Public may squeal about what we do to
them but they always vote us back again! Have done since 2001!
SO ARM
YOURSELF WITH AT LEAST SOME LEFT WING ACHIEVEMENT and GO FOOL THE BERKS
AGAIN!
SPECIAL END-OF-PATIENCE
ELECTORAL THUNDER:
Now listen to me you Public toilets! Anybody in doubt over celestial
Labour’s ability to be in touch and sane are just showing themselves up again!
All
I ever hear are whines from bigots about how we’re all out of touch and can’t be
bothered to do anything other than we want, etc, etc, snore, snore! But just
two recent events prove how we in New Labour still possess the old magic,
still possess the old pizzazz, the old ability to deliver policies and tirades
GUARANTEED to sweep us back to glorious victory!
Did I hear you say people
in Labour wanting to ban zoos for reasons of animal cruelty? Oh yes, our
penchant for crusading for animal rights on almost any flimsy terms is
preserved (though don’t mention Halal in the same point because it’s racist!).
And let’s not forget the
new Government drugs Tzar, the man in charge of keeping dangerous drugs in check,
is also an advisor for a group calling for their legalisation! Well mate, gotta keep an
open, balanced outlook! Bit of both sides! Otherwise how would we in the Reds
be so pure?!
No
wonder we work tirelessly to preserve the little pools of Redness still open to
us!
VOTE LABOUR! Remember
the good times, the happy
times, the BETTER
policies!
GET AN
ERECTION AT THE THOUGHT OF RE-ELECTION!
Oh
yes, we top-notch Liberal-Leftists can still be relied upon for yet more slogan
success! Indeed, it’s the backbone of our integrity and policy making!
VOTE LABOUR – Just remember
the success mate, the LEFT WING PLEASURE!
GET BEHIND
PURITY – GET BEHIND LABOUR!
Oh yes, you can always trust we in the politically-righteous
Left to run the nation for its own good.
The
proof lies in everything we do, which is the final arbiter, don’t you think?!
And with such
a rip-roaring Budget to see us through yet more months of Labour success,
there’s no
brighter hope for a better Britain!
After
all, under
us is to have it run by experienced journeypersons!
And I mean, if those examples of Red Power don’t convince
you that we Leftists are the way to go to save the nation (from bigots
like the EDL), then just look at how we manage to save the world so it’s
fit for the likes of us……
|
FLASH GORDON SAVES THE WORLD! |
|
|
|
|
(And with the Muslims
getting up to their usual tricks.. I mean, gallantly
sticking up for their rights even if it means getting everyone else’s backs up,
then what better way to unwind than by admiring Labour?!)
VOTE LABOUR! You can rest assured that we really DO know what we’re doing!
OH MY GOD MATE!
O-BITCHERY with Johnathan Leftwinger,
Labour MP for the cunstituency of Asylum East:
The esteemed, hallowed and absolutely perfect Michael
Foot, gallant ex-leader of our celestial Labour Party, has passed away at the
age of 96. A great man, he stood up for the very socialist
values which led to the fascist Public voting for Margaret Thatcher in 1979. (A
baffling state of affairs unless you understand that Left Wing Purity is far
too highbrow for them to understand.)
But there’s a wing to the wang, in the shape of evil,
disgusting hatemonger Geert Wilders being taken
to court for blasphemy in Amsterdam. That’ll teach him a lesson for
exposing the so-called ‘seemier’
of Islam, which simply can’t carry on not being fully integrated into
Western society and culture. And just to make sure he’ll get sent down for
offending peaceful Muslims so much that they riot, judges have ruled the truth
inadmissible on a legal point and banned most of his witnesses from appearing.
Phew, the equilibrium of Marxist idealism has been restored! The world
can be made to bend to our will in the name of Peace again, just so
long as people we don’t like can be de-humanised and slandered!
And on the subject of dehumanisation, the
wicked, wicked tabloid media are calling the killer of James Bulger horrible
names again. Typically, the worst offender is the
paper which also had the severe bad taste to betray Labour, apparently
because we’re treasonous,
incompetent politically-correct wankers! As if!
And what’s more, even our
own generation of liberal-left godless churchmen now think that the moral
fabric is being corroded too much under PC rule. THE REVISIONIST TRAITORS! As
Popeye the Misogynist, Sexist Marine-Based Relic of Machismo-Man says, “I’ve
had as much as I can stands and I can stands no more”!
VOTE LABOUR! We must rescue the party’s repressed
collective neurosis by ensuring that this battle of nerves between we and the
Public be ended at all costs. (The sooner those bastards are kept in their
place the better! We’ve got a country, which doesn’t deserve its status in the
world, to ruin!)
THOSE PEACEFUL MUSLIMS
ARE SO PRO-ACTIVE MATE!
As
my Labour pal Lord Ahmed would say, nobody f**ks with the Muslims! I
told you they’d go far in Labour, even if it meant talking it over!
And
it must be alright if I say so. I
do have the credibility of a politician. We
know how best to think in the Left mate. We’ll
be alright.
VOTE
LABOUR! Nothing
can go wrong now!
What’s
so wrong in being a c***? Surely if it helps rescue the
nation……..
So Gordon
Brown’s a bully now is he, throwing his weight against cowering officials
and politicians? Well, a leader never gets anywhere without being STRONG and
COMMANDING, which is the best way to hold Left
Wing Sh*t together! (Particularly now when the winning politically-correct
system is causing Britain to splinter under the weight of it. I mean, you can
hardly blame a great man for hanging on to the job he craved for such a long
time, especially if the nation proves unworthy of him enough to buckle under
him because of it!)
And you need a burly man to take no nonsense from the
Public! And if that means the leader of a bunch
of irate, dogma-obsessed control freaks going off his trolley then so be it
for the common good mate!
VOTE LABOUR!
(That’s the way to do it! You can’t be gentle with
the Public, officials and other politicians. You’ve got to act like a ruthless
a**ehole, in these trying times, to see Britain through to the future with
grit, determination and steel! Why is it only Left Wing Sh*tbags who realise
this state of affairs?!)
LEGAL VICTORY for the all-knowing, all-conquering and supremely wise
Left!
Oh yes mate! Break out the bubbly (alcohol-free organic garlic
champagne)! The British National
Party has been humbled into allowing ethnic minority members to join.
NO LONGER shall we in the
Red Brigade be able to pariah them for excluding blacks or Asians! Equality has
been done, Justice has… OH MY GOD! ONE LESS REASON TO BATTER THEM!
This is ANOTHER victory for
fascism, racism and every other evil incarnate in Nick Griffin!
VOTE LABOUR – And guarantee more of the same to FINALLY break the evil
BNP!
And as if to amplify the ridiculous insignificance of the BNP and their
catastrophic impact on race relations, it’s no surprise to find that non-white
British citizens often prioritise their foreign heritage due to alienation, I
expect. THAT DENIGRATES THEM INTO THINKING OF THEMSELVES AS SECOND CLASS
CITI… no, FIRST CLASS CITIZENS ABOVE THE WHITE BRITISH MONGRELS, NOTHING BUT
IMMIGRANTS THEMSELVES! Damn that BNP and their racist mates!!
MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE
in the NEW LABOUR STATE??!!
Maybe, as the Public say, the country really has gone mad!
I don’t believe it! Following hot on the heels of Manir
Hussain being freed, YET
ANOTHER brutal and disgusting proper criminal walks, sneering at justice!
I’m sure, as with I, Left Wing Wankers up and down the land
will be incandescent with rage! (I’m claiming the term Wanker for
myself, to reclassify and enjoy, what with everybody calling me one all the
time. Takes the sting out of it, just like when the gays use the word queer!
God, I’m a genius! VOTE LABOUR!)
The person incompetent enough to let this Public-empowering
vigilante slip through the justice net should be hounded from his post. Were
the brave legal eagles working to get Hussain or Tony Martin caged fighting in
vain?!
________________________________________________________________________________________________
…But we Lefties can console ourselves with the thought that at
least we have the fear of Islamic retributions to temper and hone our policy
decisions (or lack of them)! For God’s sake, give us some credit you
awful Public bigots!!
Live Love, Live Life, LIVE LABOUR!
Now listen to
me, you obnoxious Public bigots! (Aren’t I being masterful and commanding?!) I’m sick
and tired of you lot saying you’ll be voting out Labour at the next election.
We’ve so-called ‘failed’, but all you’ve got to do is open your eyes and
witness how beautiful life is as you’re living the NuLab utopia!
So
you can agree that we’re worth the money now?!
And that’s not
all! What more has New Labour done for the nation these days? For two, we’ve
set the scene for the current
batch of enlightening political correctness, plus our wonderful
sell-out to a bigger bunch of zealous, aloof and dictatorial control freaks
than even we! Doesn’t
get much better than that mate!
Idiots like
the Public often bitch on that political
correctness has ruined the social fabric and eroded civil liberties. To
which I say anybody making that kind of assumption deserves to feel
shame at being snootily ignored! (And even if ‘PC’ is such a poisonous
force, it can only be said that’s reason enough for the country to take more! It’s
like political innoculation against bigotry, racism and all the other
buzz-words which make us feel superior to the intellectual animals (ie- the
Public)!)
THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR A
LEFT-OF-CENTRE GENIUS TO BEAR!
Government ministers are now facing an inquiry
over the War On Terror. Just because people in Labour just can’t help nobly
lying and deceiving the nation with dodgy dossiers, good
solid Left Wing people have to answer silly questions about it. As if
other people below us are entitled to stand in judgement!!
For Allah’s sake, there’s an election coming! Bear in mind
only that we ‘arrogant’ demagogues on the Backbenches were right all along to
oppose the Iraq thing and so thus you must return me to office on the back of
that alone!
VOTE LABOUR – Because
whatever the Cabinet have done, you know the only people to trust are the noble
party rabble-rousers (such as I), plus my anarchist
fellow travellers when it comes to the big issues! (Big like fox hunting,
so get it in perspective!)
VOTE LEFTWINGER; VOTE SANITY!!
(I think I’ve rescued our fortunes and Red reputation now!)
POLITICALLY-CORRECT
WAILS OF ANGUISH SPOT:
‘SADDAM’
HUSSAIN RELEASED FROM JAIL, ON A SAD DAY FOR LEFT WING SH*TTM !!!!
That
vicious burglar killer Manure Hussain has been released from jail by an
obviously deranged judge, content to spend his worthless life just sucking
the nob of Public Opinion mate!
Walid Salem merely invaded his house and tortured his family. He only
wanted his place in the sun and was just misguided in the way to achieve his
dream. But as with Fred Barras before him, AN EVIL AND VICIOUS MONSTER tracked
him down AND SAVAGED HIM LIKE A WILD, UNPROVOKED RABID ANIMAL! And that’s
precisely why the real victim needs nothing but howling Red opprobrium, and the
so-called ‘perpetrators’ nothing but unadulterated sympathy and backing.
The Left can’t believe that he’s out, free to roam around his home
brutally beating so-called ‘invaders’! Salem has a proud string of 54 previous
convictions. SUCH A PROUD WORK RECORD IS IN TATTERS! He’s got the work ethic
mate in an under-appreciated profession! I mean, as
Tessa Jowell said at a 2007 Labour Party conference meeting, criminals have
great entrepreneurial skills! Maybe he should sue for loss
of earnings.. and turn the tables of sadism back to the side of JUSTICE!
VOTE LABOUR! Despite this embarrassing occasional miscarriage of justice, we can
still say that we’ve delivered the TOUGH ON CRIME AND TOUGH ON THE CAUSES OF
CRIME policy, which you’ve all enjoyed the fruits of under 12 gloriously long years
of New Labour!
BEHOLD THE MAGIC OF RED
HITMAKING!
Oh yes mate, Bob Dylan did it, Ralph McTell did it, The Clash did it…
and now I’m leading the way in recording top-notch protest music, to correct
the muddle-headed political perceptions of everybody else in the country!
People in New Labour have
marinated themselves in the wonderfully indoctrinating tradition of modern folk
music since the big Sixties boom. It’s the best way to mould young minds into
blindly and impartially following the Left Wing Cause. And because New
Labour will be mysteriously vanquished at the polls at the General Election,
it’s only wise that I do all I can think of to stop the rot.
After all,
Labour people have spent many millions of the finest tax Pounds to build
recording studios for disadvantaged young people, all to vent their ‘protest’
spleens! So let’s take advantage of some facilities to show these taxpayers the
quality they get for their investments!
So I now
give you a rare and special glimpse into the world of one of this nation’s
finest backbench super-liberals, as I attempt to grasp the Public mind and
squeeze it back into its correct shape – in other words being unselfish enough
for them to want to share their votes with New Labour again! Go 1997-style
massive mate!
VOTE
LABOUR – Because if even my backbreaking efforts to
record a new album won’t melt the bigots then I give up on them! Let the Tories
suffer them!
Culture Addendum: And
who knows better than anyone else about life under Communism? THE POLISH
AVANT-GARDE OF COURSE!
They’ve still got their out-of-touch heads screwed
on after all these years! Ah, the purity of being cut off from popular
consensus always did allow the free thinkers and political oracles to create
the undiluted truth!
I always
knew that faith in Communism by various people in Labour was never misplaced! I
love being right!
BLESSED BE THE LIBERAL AR*EHOLES AND ALL THEIR SO-CALLED ‘NOXIOUS’
WORKS!
From binmen
sacked for disposing of ‘illegal’ rubbish to knife-wielding
maniac pop singers, the New Labour State has truly done its work in dealing
with the various lowlifes for another day. And the day when ordinary
decent normal people flout the norms of 21st Century Society
with impunity is the day when obnoxious, aloof and self-important control
freaks lose their authority and means of honest leadership!! YOU CAN’T LIVE
WITH US AND YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT US, so just get bloody used to it!! (I’d much rather the binmen
be normal, Left-minded people and do things like this
or this!
Much much nicer!)
Though there
is also infamy. Islam4UK
was wrongly banned, simply for planning to adhere to the great British
tradition of FREEDOM OF SPEECH! (Well, no, even then it was a VICTORY FOR ISLAM! So Labour can still
help Diversity and Cohesion, even when planning to destroy them in the name of
vote-grubbing! WOO, FEEL OUR INVINCIBILITY!)
VOTE LABOUR! How can we
fail with such good omens?! Even
the EU seems to be holding up better than usual!!!
RED TIP:
It worked before, for example when we threatened
Tony Blair with effective shutdown if he didn’t ban
foxhunting or tried
to properly improve educational standards! We ‘wasted’ lots of precious
time for our own whims there mate and the results were plain – we on the Labour
Backbenches didn’t have to face up to a mounting NHS crisis, or be exposed as
running some of the worst performing boroughs academically! So getting
foxhunting banned was well worth spending more Parliamentary time than ever
before on any single issue! Shows we got ethics mate!
And now it’s time to once again draw the swords
against Gordon Brown! He promised to make Labour failure start to work… AND
FAILED! (And don’t think I haven’t noticed the irony because I haven’t!)
Let us try to unseat the once Golden Gordon in a
procedure as difficult as getting the BNP leader ousted – an undemocratic
difficulty which we condemn in the fascist party, obviously!
AGAIN WE MUST BRACE OURSELVES FOR OUR UNGRATEFUL, BACK-STABBING
DUTY! It’s the only way to show we have guts, tenacity and leadership enough to
steer us through the turbulent storms (of Public
ignorance of Leftist perfection) !
VOTE LABOUR! Aren’t you glad you’ve got us to set things out?!
WELCOME (ME) BACK!
Greetings
and a Happy New (Labour) Year, my fellow Left Wing ar*eholes!
I’m back
from my extended luxury holiday in the Bahamas, where I relaxed with no
expenses spared! (And whoever said that there’s never enough taxpayers’ money
for the necessary things in life?!)
Now that
your very own boss is all nice and relaxed and ready for the challenges of the
new year, I hope all the rest of you Labour Party activists are also nicely
rested and ready to promote me to the hilt again for the election.
After all,
any reasonable person would see the striking need to vote Labour again,
what with all the good we’ve done for the nation, but decent people are now few
and far between. The vast hordes of reactionary bigots can’t be relied upon not
to unseat their rightful masters this time so we must box clever.
It’s up to
us to spell out all of Labour’s achievements since 1997! (If
necessary by exaggerating or inventing them, or even by not pointing out the
absence of a net benefit compared to all our so-called ‘crap’ policies!) And,
more importantly, then spell out all the things we’re going to do,
regardless that we so-called should have done them as promised in 1997!
And thanks
to Labour there has even been great personal achievement for me too! For
example, I’ve enjoyed the kind of ‘fraud’ and fiddling which, on top of my
wages, has sent me well on the way to being a richly-deserved
multi-millionaire! Though for all I’ve helped do for constituency and
country, and EU too don’t forget, am I not worth at least twice that?!
SO THERE’S EVERYTHING TO LIVE FOR UNDER LABOUR!
Don’t let the reactionary naysayers whine and moan about things too big
for them to understand! Just gently explain to them why Left Wing Purity is
superior to anything they ever say, and they’ll back us with confidence and
gratitude! That’s what
‘PC’ is all about!!!
JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER’S
SPECIAL “BOWING DOWN TO CHRISTMAS POPULISM” RECORD!
”When you listen to this special fly-on-the-wall demotape of
an everyday Christmas in the constituency office, you’d better damn well enjoy
it!”
Such are the fighting words of Johnathan
Leftwinger MP, taking a well-earned rest from his extended exotic holiday to
enjoy his official Christmas gift. Taking the trouble to jet back all those
miles, just to collect some cheap little trinket in a cold and reactionary
little country is just the kind of sacrifice you can expect from Labour people.
“Indeed, did we not sacrifice
Britain on the EU’s altar in the name of our dogma and the national interest?”, spat Mr.
Leftwinger as I dared to take him to task over his perceived arrogance. That
retort put me well and truly in my place! Leftist dogma is more
important than even the freedom of mere nations, what with it being
International and everything!
So listen to somebody who is TRULY
important, regal and commanding this Christmas Day! And learn to sit in
your place and be subservient to somebody who’s actually worth the cravenness!
VOTE
LABOUR! And be jolly!
SHOW SOLIDARITY WITH
SO-CALLED ‘STUCK-UP, OUT OF TOUCH AND ALOOF LEFT WING A**EHOLES’!
We in Labour said F**K THE FASCISTS, now
let’s say F**K
CHRISTMAS! And we got the LAW to back us up and all, which only
proves our Red legitimacy!
The white cultural Reactionary Hitlers just WON’T BEAT US
MATE!!!!!!!!
YULETIDE SPEECH SPECIAL:
Check out the 2009 LEFT WING WISDOM C****MAS ADDRESS!
Now’s the Season To be Jolly (but not in front of you-know-who, so as not
to cause offence!)! So take a
listen to my latest superb speech, during which my bigoted Public-derived
office boy gets the intellectual dressing-down he deserves mate!
(Oh, and don’t bother with the ‘b-side’,
during which Labour’s so-called ‘failures’ in education get at least partially
highlighted! It’s all out of proportion, as usual! But that’s what you get when
that bloke from the Public gets a slot!)
Oh no Public, it’s not
Leftist cr*p we talk, more like A STEAMING PILE OF LABOUR!
I hate the Daily Mail.
It twists things out of all proportion when it constantly puts into a bad light
things which happen under Labour! And today’s website edition is as
relentless as ever. Let me take you through a few examples, setting the
paper right as I go:
VANESSA
GEORGE GETS SENT TO JAIL FOR A MUCH-DESERVED, HEAVY 7-YEAR TERM. ‘That ain’t not bad’, as the thickos in Texas might say! Such a
brutal paedophile deserves such a punishment, as would her co-defendants. But
the paper only goes and adds bias to the story by SCREAMING ABOUT HOW LABOUR
SENTENCING DISCOUNTS HAVE ‘ERODED’ WHAT USED TO BE LIFE SENTENCES WITHOUT
PAROLE FOR THE SAME CRIMES!
Even the judge seemed a bit embarrassed when he was
forced by law to mention how he was supposed to slash away the years while he
was sentencing, but the Public need to be stood up to. You can’t have even
paedophiles punished ‘properly’ under Labour, oh no. That’s not what Tough
On Crime and Tough On The Causes of Crime was all about! Giving way to mob
vengeance is not the humanist way! Sending mis-understood child-lovers down
for token sentences, with caring counselling, before being released as grateful
anonymous new persons is much more like it! And it works, the evidence being
that we say it does! So much for the Daily Mail!
__________________________________
Next, I see a story about HOW
ONE OF THOSE VENGEFUL PUBLIC PERSONS THEMSELVES GOT SENT TO JAIL FOR ONE OF
THEIR OWN TRADEMARK BRUTAL ASSAULTS! Different story now, eh?! Looking
at an
article by Allison Pearson on the story shows not a single complaint about
short sentences this time! Just ‘cos it’s one of them, the bloody
hypocrites!
As I say, once again to those arrogant bigots, THE
LAW MUST BE IMPARTIAL AND FAIR! And if that means
extra heavy-handedly punishing a proportionate number of normal people for
reacting to tormentors, driving
too fast, having
out-of-date tax discs or not parking their cars properly, then so be
bloody it mate! (And The
Times has got to learn as well!)
(Oh, and I also notice the Mail isn’t
Muslim-bashing in this report either! Just because no bombs are going off, no
British soldiers are getting abused or no money
is handed out to ‘terrorists’ by banks, then that makes all the
difference I suppose!!!!!
But Oh… THEY
COULDN’T HELP THEMSELVES SNEERING AT PROUD ISLAMIC CUSTOMS WE JUST DON’T
UNDERSTAND IN THE END!!!!!!!!!!!)
__________________________________
OH MY GOD! The Mail then seeks to ratchet up the HATRED felt towards your poor misunderstood
political overlords by highlighting
our so-called largesse! The Hate, as we witty Reds call it, just can’t stop
the hating! Everyday
Parliamentary running expenses are none of the Media and Public’s business,
especially as they pointlessly rage every five minutes at every needed thing!
(Especially when we
do so much for good, decent, humble people!)
And
now it’s time to punish us I suppose?! Disgusting childishness! No
wonder we all need constant holidays due to the stress!
__________________________________
God, YOBS
AGAIN! Always with the FERAL
YOOVES AND YOBS ‘N’ FUGS! How very lowbrow! Anybody would think that
Labour softy-softly crime policy is a load of rubbish! But the fact of
the matter is that you just HAVE to give young yobs a chance to behave
themselves and then reform without punishment…. A HUNDRED TIMES if necessary!
The ‘problems’ may escalate but you can’t deny that we keep having a go in good
Leftist faith! It all proves our goodness.
__________________________________
And
they can’t even leave the environment alone! Negative stories such as AL
GORE ‘LYING’ ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE and GORDON
BROWN PAYING THIRD WORLD NATIONS TO CUT THEIR GLOBAL WARMING! Personally
I’m quite pleased that our leader has the wisdom to not just bankroll the aid
and food bills for starving African dictatorial regimes, but also to pay them
to listen to how to make things a bit colder! And all with the nation in
disasterous debt too! Now that IS something to be proud of!
VOTE LABOUR – If you don’t
give way to the pure justice of Left Wing Sh*t TM, then you’re just an
outlaw who deserves all you get from the ‘spiteful’, politically-correct EU
province of Labourland! It’s just so even-handed and sensible!
The F**KING PIECES OF PUBLIC SH*T!!
Johnathan Leftwinger speaks out!
So, the
bloody bigots in Switzerland have had the temerity to vote for the cancellation
of the building of new minarets eh? THE NAZIS MATE! All that Nazi gold
stuffed in their bank vaults must have corrupted them!
And many
in our own fascist reactionary Public only go and agree with them! Tch!
If only these Swiss cheeses and their ‘British’ allies-in-filth took a more
rational and level-headed approach! Like, for example, people in the Left!
That is why people in the Left, in stark contrast to the
over-emotional outbursts of the Swiss voters, like to say: “Calm down, calm
down, get it into perspective. VERY
SOON THE POLITICALLY-CORRECT SWISS ESTABLISHMENT, IN TANDEM WITH EUROPEAN HUMAN
RIGHTS JUDGES, WILL SOON MAKE SURE THAT THE RESULT OF THE RECENT REFERENDUM
IS SAFELY OVERTURNED!
SO ALL BIGOTS IN THE SWISS PUBLIC COMMUNITY SHALL HAVE THEIR
FAT NOSES RUBBED IN LEFT-WING PURITY! They simply MUST be converted
to the ways of people who hold their views in complete and total contempt mate!
With a little bit of rational thinking foisted on ‘em, THEN
they’ll become more mellow mate! Then they’ll become more humble when forced on
their knees before their Red overlords!
You see, that’s much much better! And to cap that off, more
and more people on the Left now are clamouring for Switzerland to be awarded
PARIAH STATUS, similar to the thing with South Africa during the days of
Apartheid mate! LET’S
KICK THE PUBLIC BASTARDS FOR THEIR XYLOPHOBIC RACIST WAYS!
KICK THEM INTO TOUCH BECAUSE ALTHOUGH THEY’VE ALWAYS BEEN A
THORN IN THE SIDE OF THE TRENDY LEFT, WE’RE NOW TOO BIG TO DESTROY! You British
ar*holes may destroy New Labour’s celestial capacity to dominate the nation at
the polls next year, but we’ve turned the Establishment so Left-Wing anyway
that even the TORIES have been driven down the PC path! Let them be just as
forced to buckle under to so-called Left-Wing sh*t mate!
Ooooo awooohahaa! Dig our
sanity! VOTE LABOUR!
__________________
____________________________
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!
Freedom for the Muslims, now they’ve brushed up on
their Red-backed, victim-playing skills!
Oh yes
mate, the Muslims in the West are ever so persecuted, more than anybody else
now. And as all good Lefties should, I gauge that by how much sundry Muslim
groups and their backers abroad whinge and whine about how crushed into the
ground they are, just because some minarets probably won’t get built any more.
But now
it’s time, once once once once again, to lead the Leftist fightback against the
bigots by championing mainstream Muslim causes. So let’s dip our toes into the
blood-red Lefty water (hopefully the blood of the EDL or the BNP!!!!!!), and
say:
LET THE BENIGN AND PEACEFUL ISLAMIC
CULTURE SPREAD PEACE AND JOY WHEREVER IT SHINES! Both the fascist-ridden Europe
and USA
need to be brought out of its dark ages of Christianity and murderous
imperialism. And
what better a tool than Islam to do it?!
DON’T LET
AMERICA CURTAIL ISLAMIC SEXUAL FREEDOM! Why should spicy ‘taboo’ sex be only allowed in the
‘promiscuous’ West? Not to
mention the punishment for stepping out of conservative line!?!?!?!?!! (‘Rape’
is only an abstract anyway, leastways when oppressed foreigners do it.)
LET
THE MUSLIMS HAVE TRUE FREEDOM OF SPEECH! ‘Europe You Shall Pay, 9/11 On Its Way’ was
pretty assertive, but you ain’t seen nothing yet! Not until you hear further
Public-enraging revelations about how the JEWS AND THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT were
the ones who ACTUALLY caused the September 11 atrocity! You see, give these
people a CHANCE Channel 4! Who
are the REAL ‘extremists’ now then, eh?!
DON’T PERVERT THE EDUCATION
OF MUSLIM MINORS, EITHER HERE OR ABROAD! There are complex issues
at stake here, you disgusting Public people, which I could never expect you to
understand! Slighting the peaceful and benevolent Prophet by naming a teddy
after him, keeping mum on the holocaust because many Muslims hate Jews too much
too, not to mention little girls being ‘brainwashed’ into becoming suicide
bombers, are issues far too deep for you to have a relevant comment on. So I’d
counsel discretion Public, or I’ll scweam and scweam and scweam!
LET
ANCIENT, WISE MEDICAL PRACTICES CONTINUE UNCRITICISED BY THE WESTERN HALF-WIT
CLEVER-TROUSERS! Drinking
camel urine, wiping
your bottom with pebbles and mutilating
the private parts of your little daughter is radical enough an alternative
lifestyle choice for a modern Establishmentarian to see the benefit of! (I’d do
it myself, only that Tory bloke’s brother got there first! Allahu Akbar mate and
the best of Bradford luck!)
That’ll
do for starters! Aren’t you feeling suitably ethically refreshed?! GET WITH
THE RIGHTEOUS! THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS!
VOTE LABOUR!
________________________________________________________________________
IMPORTANT JOBSEEKER NOTICE:
Now that our
esteemed Lord Mandelson has been appointed our new Minister For Public
Enlightenment And Propaganda, a title which is reassuring yet vaguely
sinister and familiar for some reason, I wish to apply to be his deputy.
Just like him, I think I’m quite adept at seeing nothing but
good in everything that happens under Labour. I mean, we are the party of the
People, Righteousness and Divinity. So WHAT CAN GO WRONG? (Other
than the Public and evil newspapers throwing spanners in our works, absolutely
nothing!!!)
It’s not as if there’s no glory to speak of. Indeed, GORDON
BROWN LOVINGLY SPLASHING OUT ON OUR BRAVE SOLDIERS’ FAMILIES is something
to celebrate! For too long have soldiers been suffering due to faulty equipment,
lack of good kit, substandard vehicles and atrocious pay. Not to mention houses
unfit for even your habitation, never mind asylum seekers’! So no wonder
Gordon’s paying his dues and hats off to him mate! Let the privations of the
Tory years finally come to an end!
And the greedy, horrible monster
banks are being broken up in a wonderful plan by the freedom-loving Alistair
Darling! He really is a darling if you ask me mate, stopping all those
immoral bonus schemes! Although the plan was ‘forced’ on us by the EU, we may
as well give old Ally the credit because he’s such a soft-hearted and kind
bloke! So in touch!
THERE’S JUST THAT MUCH TO LOVE UNDER LABOUR! And if good old
Peter will have me (in more ways than one!), let me put in my very first press
release, exposing to all the world the very best of modern Leftiness…….
Parliamentary expenses?
What a BORING subject!
Those dopey winkles
in the Public must have some kind of compulsive-obsessive hatred of their
political masters earning a hard day’s crust! And it’s they who elected us! Stupid
dirty bottoms!
You can’t whinge about politicians in this day and
age, oh no mate. That just breeds dissent, something which the BNP feeds on.
Those newspapers and useful idiots in the Electorate have got a lot to learn.
But nevertheless I shall put myself out to address a few points:
She’s the first noble
casualty of new draconian rules put in place to try to vainly feed the
puritanism of the Public! I can see resentment breeding here, we’ll not take
this very well!
But if ar*eholes in the Public and Media refuse to appreciate this, why
the hell should we stick up for them by keeping British Jobs For ‘British’
Workers?!
LOOK
WHO YOU’VE HOUNDED OUT OF OFFICE WITH YOUR MANIA, YOU DISGUSTING JEALOUS
SCROTUMS!
I mean, bloody
hell! Just because you don’t earn as much as we do you go all bolshy! We must STAND
UNITED against the massed ranks of the revolting Public bigots, in a
resistance which transcends party politics! (Bit like the war, only this time
the Enemy’s within!!!)
But
no, you can’t tell the Public anything! They may not have realised this, but
things are getting more expensive all the time. And that’s made worse by the
recession! Have they been living in caves or bloody what mate?! We need
every penny to get by!
Bloody
Telegraph. It’s them and the rest of the Media to blame for inflaming the
‘must have it all’ Public! They just can’t stop PERSECUTING those who are
always trying to help them, the ultimate proof being that the even the SLEAZEBUSTER-IN-CHIEF
HIMSELF SOMEHOW THINKS HE SHOULD GO EASY ON THE INJUSTICE HE HAS TO METE OUT!
VOTE
LABOUR – Only we can steer the
nation through this disturbing and unsettling period in our troubled history!
I Don’t Believe those SWINES in the Public!
They
only went and sympathised with Nick Griffin after being coalboxed on Question
Time! I thought the likes of Jack Straw could deflect attention from the
politically correct ‘Left Wing Sh*t TM’ which so-called ruins the
nation, but all that happened instead was people saying that Griffin should
have had a fairer crack of the whip! God!
But at least there are
things in the news to soothe the nerves, such as the valuable data that more
people from overseas are prepared to do the jobs which the lazy British just
won’t do. That’s why they’re here! But for some reason the Public rant and froth,
even though it’s their bigotry and aloofness in the job market which
precipitated this course of action in the first place! Wanting a fulfilling
career rather than just a hopeless non-trade dead-end? That
is soooo yesteryear mate! Get with the times!
GET WITH LABOUR!!
The Public are becoming
ever more unreasonable with each passing day. That’s why Labour ‘fail’ all the
time, we just don’t get the legroom and goodwill any more. No
wonder our own think-tanks have to censor some of the more so-called unpleasant
aspects of large-scale immigration. You can’t expect everybody to be well
behaved, not in Britain today, as it’s just human nature. But you try telling
the Public and see what you get…..
Sometimes I feel so lonely.
It’s just me and the other pure Red ‘wankers’ in Labour against the whole
bigoted Public machine. And
the Tories pander to them, paving the way for the BNP! And with that sentiment
coming from the man who once said that the OAPs of this nation were too Tory
and Reactionary, it must hold some validity! Which is why we have to ‘rub the
Right’s nose in Diversity’ really, to quote one of our top spin doctors. It’s
the only way to cleanse the nation of its guilt as well as give
the poor misunderstood Muslim groups of this nation the huge donations they
need to survive.
Anyway, at least we in the
Labour can trumpet a few achievements, such as Tony
Blair’s upcoming status as EU President. He needs some kind of reward for
all the Left Wing good he’s done for Britain over the years! (He
was so good that the likes of I rebelled against him all the time!) Not to
mention the fact that absolutely everybody
else in the nation has been landed an Ali-style KO punch by Labour over Lisbon!
Rarely
have we been so strong!
VOTE LABOUR – We’ve got so much
success under our belts that’s it’s
hardly even worth dealing with proper issues and concerns! They’re
virtually peripheral!
Another
Day In (Socialist) Paradise!
Time
to wash the nasty Nick-Griffin-to-appear-on-Question-Time taste from my mouth
with more examples of why life under Labour’s so darn blummin’ well good:
Misdeeds? We? Pah! Stuff and Nonsense!
· AN
EXTRA ELECTRICITY TAX TO PAY FOR URGENTLY BUILDING THE NEW POWER STATIONS WE
NEED!
I mean, Labour politicians have ignored our urgent needs for
power sources for years, even to the extent of selling everything off to the
likes of the French, but hey-ho. We need it now and so the Public must pay
heavily for their ‘volty’ largesse. (If this kind of ‘blinker’ mentality works
in our attitude to prisons, it’ll work here!)
· ‘MASSIVE’
DEFICIT AT SUCH A MIND-BOGGLING AMOUNT THAT NO ORDINARY PERSON COULD HOPE TO
TAKE IT IN!
Perhaps we in Labour can limit our electoral damage next
year by unleashing such a huge amount of national destruction that people will
say “Hmmm, it just can’t be as bad as what the papers say, the bloody liars!
I’m voting LABOUR! Wooooooo!” That’s why it’s alright to sink the nation into the European
Federal Bastardstate without keeping our promise to ask permission after all!
(Mind
you, there was some bad news, insofar as one
of our top-quality arrogant, aloof lying bitches found herself on the
receiving end of flak. They don’t understand the way real life works,
that’s their trouble.) VOTE LABOUR!
What a
ROARING SUCCESS the 2009 LABOUR CONFERENCE was mate!
Talk about your bread and circuses, we had thrills and spills and
joy and tears. RIP-ROARING, NATION-BENEFITTING EDU-TAINMENT FOR ALL CONCERNED! LET
THE NEW LABOUR CONFERENCES BE A MICROCOSM OF HOW BRITAIN SHOULD BE IN OUR
IMAGE!
Both Harriet Harman and Peter Mandelson have declared that Labour
is the underdog who can bite back! Well, we’ve had such great experience in
biting the Public for the last 12 years now that you can trust us to know our
onions on that issue at least!
On top of my definitive commentary-webcast of the
event (to prize and cherish and keep forever in your political library),
let us take a look at some of the highlights:
GORDON
BROWN’S FANTASTIC FUTURE POLICY SPEECH and reaction
by both wise people and bigots,
The
refreshingly empty conference room (we don’t believe in people pollution),
The
in-touch deputy leader declaring that LABOUR CAN WIN,
GORDON BROWN
showing his passionate humanity in that TV interview,
That much-loved
union bloke showing his dignified reaction to the behaviour of that
stupid turncoat rag,
LABOUR PEOPLE showing a realistic,
non-excitable,
down-to-Earth appraisal of our party’s firm direction,
DAVID
MILLIBAND showing the extremist Tories that he’s nobody’s fool,
HARRIET
HARMAN showing her calm, balanced reaction to the actions of that daft lying
paper,
PETER
MANDELSON’S rational rebuttal of that criminal, racist daily, to name just
a few.
So never mind
the bigoted wankers out there in the Public pouring scorn, we know that
we’ve got all the right
popular plans for the nation’s survival… like more
tax rises to pay our way with or our ongoing
police reforms. (It all needs time to just bed in a bit, that’s all.)
And what with the sheer pride
of seeing Tony Blair earn his Presidency of the EU, you can only be grateful
for how we in Labour have stopped the know-nothing Public from ruining the
beautiful Eurofederalist dream!
VOTE
LABOUR – Because if you think the Tories will actually deliver the
kind of full quality you get from us, then you must be bigger untrustworthy
fools than we thought!
Now THAT’S a
top-notch arrogant ‘bitch’! A woman of such strength, superiority and power
will go far in Labour…. Oh, she has!!!!!
AND IN
OTHER NEWS, what
the bloody hell does Michael Palin think he’s doing by saying that Britain
should stop apologising for it’s racist, fascist imperial past?
Everybody
knows that to reform the British Public, we have to remind them that they are
the sons and daughters of cruel mass-murdering barbarians and that they’re
actually not worth very much historically or culturally.
AND PALIN
WANTS TO JEOPERDISE THAT BY SAYING THAT WE ACTUALLY DID SOME GOOD STUFF AS
WELL?!? I CAN’T BELIEVE THE ARROGANCE!
VOTE
LABOUR – The day we’re proved wrong on thinking the bigoted and reactionary
British must be kept underfoot is the day we’ll stop apologising for the potato
famine!
BE YOURS A PC PC! THINK FOR YOURSELF!
Oh yes
mate, if there’s one thing you can say about people in Labour, it’s that we
never fail to persevere! Which is why I’m continuing to push my new range of
educational computer products!
First it
was the New Labour Policy
Processor, now it’s my special NuLab
Ethical Trainer being wielded for your Enlightenment! You see, more and
more of the unenlightened masses are trying to dabble in politics and social
morality in an effort to undermine Labour! But I’m going on the counter-attack
to put those idiots back in their place by showing them how
things really work in Britain today! We know what’s best, that’s why
we do the things we do! Obvious really.
So next
time one of those Public idiots tries to tell me how to run the place, all I
need do is run the software
in my efforts to belittle them in the name of free thought!
VOTE LABOUR – If our
software’s good enough for those moaning NHS incompetents then it’s good
enough for you!
Oooh, the SAVAGE
SAVAGE!!
No wonder we banned this Yank bigot from entering the country when
he rants and raves about…
The
similarity between orthodox Islam and Nazism, refusing
to bear the WHITE MAN’S BURDEN TM, his pride
in standing up to Red race wisdom, his
whistleblowing of the ‘Obamist’ powergrab, his intolerance for
Democrat freedom lovers, his bad attitude towards
‘illegal’ immigrants, terrorist-supporting
Muslim groups (they’re just misunderstood!), good pure
Marxist cultural supremacism, the young
U.S. Public who the corporations have handily rendered benign at last, the
highly unfair imbalance of ‘white’ inventiveness, the
beautiful ‘positive discrimination’ inflicted to make up for it, the
‘nasty’ Democratic bid to outlaw open disclosure on a recent Immigration bill,
his
desire to deport the poor misunderstood foreign criminals, to name just a
few!
WE DON’T WANT MICHAEL SAVAGE OVER HERE, ALSO INCITING THE
BRITISH BIGOTS TO REBEL AGAINST GOOD, SOLID LEFT WING PRINCIPLES! THAT WOULD
BE, TO USE MY OWN NEW WORD, C**TIST! VOTE LABOUR!
Oh yes mate, those
poor persecuted Muslims are standing up for their rights so much, the news has
to be sat on to avoid upsetting the Bigots! RACISTS! YOU’RE the
cause of the tension, you white English C**TS! (I didn’t want to say that, but
you forced my hand!)
That’s why it’s
CRIMINAL for people in Labour to actually agree with the Public! It only
stirs up racial tension! I just hope for his reputation (and my sanity’s) sake
that this is just another pandering trick to get their votes! There IS such a
thing as Leftist integrity!
…And this charmingly foul-mouthed Red blogger says what we
in the Left have always known, that shoplifting’s
no real crime, especially when you work to feed your hungry family or ego!
LOVE THAT LEFT! VOTE LABOUR!
GROOVE ON LABOUR!
Oh yes mate, we think things the Public wouldn’t dare to, for a better Britain! (Unlike the Public, who dare to think things we would rather punish them for!)
Indeed, the Public don’t have the brains or
suitable lack of bigotry to come up with gems such as…
….NEW
LABOUR DRUG-TAKING CENTRES. Alright, the Bigots would whine if we allowed
the kind of drug cafes you got in Holland (oh my blissful college years
there!). Bastards! So we’ve had to compromise by letting heroin addicts shoot
themselves up without exposing themselves to danger, such as taking
contaminated drugs sold by dodgy dealers! (And I know that down feeling man – I
bought 3 years’ supply of coke for a grand in 1982, only to learn I was
sniffing washing powder by the end! OH, THE DANGER TO HEALTH I MUST HAVE
SUFFERED! NEVER AGAIN! VOTE LABOUR!)
WE
CAN’T LET THE PUBLIC THROW AWAY THINGS THAT ROT UNDERGROUND MATE! Not
without punishment! We’d be letting ourselves down as top-quality Left Wing
‘ars*holes’ if we didn’t guard the environment! Which is why rats and flies are
the least of the bigots’ problems in Britain today!
BRITAIN
NEEDS TO MAKE CUTS! But unlike the Tories, Gordon Brown would be wise enough
not to cut back on the vital public services of the self-perpetuating
beaurocracies, politically-correct jobsworths or child-killingly negligent
social workers. We don’t quite know what we SHOULD cut, but you can rest
assured that Big Brother ID card and public DNA profiling projects will NOT be
a target!
SCANDAL?!
It’s the beauty of the sexual revolution. Phew, good job we in the Left want
kids to be instructed in sexy sexual things from the age of five to prepare
them for this kind of thing without damage!! ANOTHER QUALITY POLICY FROM THE
REDS!
And
lastly, BARCLAYS
IS THE MOST COMPLAINED-ABOUT BANK! The Public being misled and sold pups?
Perhaps we bought out the wrong bank!
VOTE LABOUR, for all our tomorrows!
(And stuff the Daily Mail, it always tries to ‘expose’ Left
Wing sh*t as somehow bad!!!!!)
POPULIST ANNOUNCEMENT:
Oh yes mate, I agree wholeheartedly with Manchester
City Council’s decision to allow a church’s new Muslim owners to build a car
park over a white Christian graveyard. Despite the howls
of protest by the likes of the fascist BNP (well, like sticks with like!),
I say that you’ve just got to allow progress by allowing mosque-goers to park
where they need. And it’s not as if the bodies feel any pain by being parked
on, so I don’t see what the fuss is about, which is typical of the common-sense
employed by Labourites
in Manchester.
And I mean, it’s hardly as
if this is the first graveyard dug up for development purposes. Happened
for years it has. And if we in the political Establishment didn’t fuss over a
few old bones then, we certainly won’t now! Indeed, we less liely to now if it
means we may get a bigger chance of riots from the Islamic community if they
don’t get their way. Get things into perspective! VOTE LABOUR!
LABOUR PEOPLE – I COMMAND
(LINE) YOU TO INTERFACE YOURSELF WITH THE DIGITAL AGE MATE!
Oh my God mate, my esteemed
and trusted colleague, the LABOUR PARTY COMPUTER, has come up trumps again! I
asked him to dispense a small yet helpful program to aid the party in coming up
with the kind of quality policies you know us for by now. (At first he was
unhelpful, citing a clash of logical parameters when trying to match more of
the same with quality and ‘sanity’, but after a swift kick to the terminals, he
was fully repaired and dispensing the code.)
I like the Labour Party
Computer you know. He’s as human as we are, not to mention the fact that he’s
the CPU-child behind all the New Labour IT policies today! Now that’s
impressive (barring the total failure)!
So all you have to do now
is download
the program, run it
and make the NEW LABOUR COMPUTER TZAR proud that we’re all doing as she says by
using computers to boost Labour popularity. After all, we’ve had no luck all
the other ways, so computers are definitely the way to go!
VOTE LABOUR - Cos never mind what the frustrated doctors or data-losing civil
servants may do for example, WE know we’re right on what to give people so
therefore we are! HAVE WE NOT GIVEN YOU A FREE PROGRAM JUST THIS MINUTE?!?!
LABOUR
and COMMUNISTS – for
that special gold blend, so to speak! No wonder
so many top Labour Cabinet ministers were in it, including dear old Mandy
himself! We get the job done mate, with or without Public patronage!
Oh yes mate, it takes a
bunch of so-called ‘traitorous Liberal a***holes’ to forge a new free Britain!
VOTE LABOUR – We
keep a fatherly eye on the henous wrongdoers of our nation, keeping them
securely punished for their every transgression! IT’S HOW WE’VE
MANAGED TO GURANTEE A SECURE, UNITED AND MORALLY HEALTHY BRITAIN, ITS
LABOUR RULERS DEFENDED FROM A DANGEROUS THREAT BY
THE FORCES OF IGNORANCE!!
VOTE LABOUR – We
combat Racism by being ‘racist’ ourselves to make the balance! (Trust us on
this mate),
VOTE LABOUR – We
wouldn’t dream of interfering when bankers turn a profit any more. After
all, the FINANCIAL SECTOR is all we’ve got left and we don’t want to shoot the
chicken that lays the golden nugget! Especially when we love to give ourselves
huge raises for failure ourselves!
VOTE LABOUR – Because never
let it be said that we’re too humble to accept friendly guidance from others!
(It’s just because we don’t take it from those politically unqualified oafs in
the Public that people like you get annoyed!)
VOTE LABOUR –
